Redo This Coupon, Sharp(ie)!

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests

(The customer is an elderly woman. After ringing up her 30 items, I hand her her receipt and one of our coupons, which are valid for the five days after the purchase. She has been pretty nice up to this point, but now her face is scrunched up in anger.)

Elderly Customer: “These dates don’t work for me! Change them!”

Me: *taken aback* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t have the power to do that.”

Elderly Customer: “Just Sharpie them in!”

Sadly, There IS A Doctor In The House

| Manhattan, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work at a very upscale store in Manhattan. A lot of our clientele are successful business folk with expensive tastes.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can you come over here a moment?”

(I walk over to where a sour faced female customer in a pricey but nondescript business suit is giving me a death glare.)

Manager: “Is this the gentleman who served you?”

Customer: “That’s him! You are a disgrace, you know that?”

Me: “I… um… I’m sorry, but what did I do to upset you?”

Customer: “Are you serious? The entire transaction you constantly referred to me as ‘ma’am’ and ‘miss’!”

Me: *now even more confused* “Yes, I was being polite?”

Customer: “Polite? I’m a doctor you idiot! DOC-TOR! Can you say that word? Doooc-tooor? Do you know what it means?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I know what—”

Customer: “There you go again! It’s DOCTOR! Not ma’am!” *to my manager* “Seriously, is this what [Clothing Store] has been reduced to?”

Manager: “Uh, first off, ma’am…”

Customer: “DOCTOR!”

Manager: “Right, doctor, did you perchance tell my associate that you wished to be addressed as such?”

Customer: “Well, no. He should’ve known!”

Manager: “Really? Did you show him any ID confirming you were a doctor?”

Customer: “No, I shouldn’t have to.”

Manager: “Is your title stated anywhere? Say on your driver’s license?”

Customer: “No.”

Manager: “Then, may I ask, how is he supposed to know you’re a doctor if you didn’t give him any indication of such?”

Customer: “What? Well I’m wearing a nice and expensive suit for one!”

Manager: “Uh… so is every other customer in the store currently, ma’am.”

Customer: “IT’S DOCTOR! NOT MA’AM! You know what? Forget it! I’m never shopping here again if you’re all this incompetent!”

(She storms out.)

Me: “So… am I in trouble?”

Manager: “Oh, no… Well, unless you’re unlucky enough to visit whatever medical practice she works at. Geeez!”

Her Brain Is Not Online

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a small family-operated t-shirt store in a small but busy tourist town. We have only one location, but we also have an online store. During the summer, about 90% of our customers are tourists, so we give everyone who comes in a flyer with a code for free shipping on an online order. This occurs as I’m finishing a transaction.)

Me: “We also have a nice online store, and there’s a free shipping code on this flyer for you to use if you order anything on there.”

(The customer pushes the flyer away.)

Customer: “No, I don’t want one; I’m leaving town today.”

(The customer rushes out the door before I can respond. My manager looks over at me.)

Manager: “Isn’t that the point of being able to shop online?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, it is.”

Refunder Blunder, Part 20

| San Diego, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(My department is small so when we go on lunch that there’s no one at our register. I go on lunch and leave a sign saying when I will return. Once I come back I find a box with a note attached sitting at my register.)

Note: “Hello, I’m looking to refund/return the items enclosed. You were out on lunch. Reason: Fit of the henleys and one duplicate shirt purchased. My receipt is attached. I can be contacted at [number]. Thank You.

(Customer calls an hour after I get back.)

Customer: “So did you return my stuff?”

Me: “Sir, anyone could have taken your merchandise before I returned to process it. You should have waited and come back another time.”

Customer: “But did you do it?”

Me: *sighs* “I returned your items and the money will be back on your card in three business days. But it was a really bad—”

Customer: *hangs up*

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 19
Refunder Blunder, Part 18
Refunder Blunder, Part 17

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 13

, | Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m a manager for a national clothing retailer outside of Boston and our store is running a promotion where customers can get coupons via text message.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, how do I get a coupon?”

Me: “You send a text message to this number **** and we will send you the coupon back.”

Customer: “So, do I need a cell phone in order to receive text message coupons from you?”

(Skipping a beat to see if she is serious.)

Me: “Yes. Yes, you do need a cell phone to receive text messages.”

Customer: *looking confused* “Oh.” *she walks away*

Related:
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 12
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 11
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10

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