Santa Doesn’t Take Back Gifts

, , , , , , | | Right | May 29, 2019

(A lady walks into up to the return counter. It’s about mid-August. She is carrying a red and green holiday bag.)

Customer: “I want to return this.” *dumps out a toddler onesie that is printed like a Santa suit*

(I check the receipt. It’s from December of last year.)

Me: “Ma’am, this is from Christmas of last year. It’s not in our system. If you don’t want it anymore, I’d suggest donating it because we can’t take it back. Sorry.”

Customer: “My daughter told me to return this. No wonder she gave it to me; she was too ashamed to go herself! I can’t believe she did that to me. Sorry I wasted your time.”

(She wadded up the suit and the bag and stormed out. I would not want to be her daughter when she gets home.)

How To Romaine Calm

, , , | | Right | May 25, 2019

(I am Romanian but have lived in the US for a couple of years now. I am shopping for a dress to wear to a friend’s wedding. I am wearing jeans, a cat T-shirt, a bracelet with my country’s colors on it, and a star necklace. The uniform that the employees wear consists of cargo pants, a button-up shirt, and their name tags.)

Stranger: *taps me on the shoulder* “Excuse me, miss. Can you tell me where I can find plus-size jeans?”

Me: *turning around* “Oh, sorry. I do not work here.”

Stranger: “Oh, sorry. My mis—“

(He notices my necklace and bracelet, crosses himself, and runs away. I am confused but I shrug it off. A few minutes later while I’m talking on the phone with my grandma who doesn’t speak English, the same man comes back with who I assume is the manager.)

Stranger: “There she is. Throw this heathen out of the store!”

Manager: “Sir, I cannot throw anyone out without proof.”

Stranger: “Has she made you stupid with her devil magic? Look at her. No good Christian would wear that necklace and a symbol of those [gay slurs]!”

Manager: “Sir, I simply can’t—“

Stranger: “I am a God-fearing man and I demand you throw this [bad word], [slur] pagan out!”

(Having had enough, I finally speak up.)

Me: “Sir!”

Stranger: “WHAT?!”

Me: “First of all, although it is none of your business, I am in fact Christian born and raised. Second, this necklace is a star, not a pentagram which I assume you thought it was, and my bracelet is the flag of Romania, not any LGBTQ+ flag I’m familiar with. Third, I doubt God would be very happy with a self-described God-fearing man who uses such profane language and takes the Lord’s name in vain.”

(I begin reciting Peter 3:8 and 9 and Luke 6:31. The irate man stutters, trying to find a reply, before giving up and leaving the store with his head lowered.)

Manager: “Wow. Usually, I have to call security for people like that.”

Me: “In my opinion, a good follower of any religion doesn’t use it as fuel for bigotry but to spread morality and acceptance.”

Unfiltered Story #151074

, , | | Unfiltered | May 19, 2019

(I’m cashiering at a clothing store. We have a very generous 90-day return policy, which means that for 3 whole months, you can return your item with its receipt and get back exactly what you paid for it, instead of store credit for the clearance amount the item will inevitably drop to. I’ve finished ringing up a customer when she looks down into her purse.)

Customer: Oh no! I had something I wanted to return… I must have left it at home. I guess I’ll have to come back later this week. What’s your return policy?

Me: You have 90 days to return an item.

Customer: Oh really? What if I bought it in January?

Me: Well, it’s June now… so that’s past our return policy. If you bring it in, we can give you store credit for whatever the item is selling for in store now.

Customer: Even if I have my receipt? I don’t get back what I paid for it?

Me: Well, you would if you were inside of our return policy. But since you bought the item six months ago, you’re way past the 90 days. I could only give you store credit for whatever the item is marked down to now. The longer you wait, the less you’ll be able to get back.

Customer: Well, that doesn’t seem right… if I have my receipt, I should be able to get all of my money back.

Me: Well… not if you’re three months past our return policy. If we let you get your money back as long as you have a receipt, someone could bring something back a year later and we’d basically lose that money since the item would be such a ridiculously cheap clearance price at that point. That’s why we have the return policy.

Customer: Well that’s just dishonest!

(At this point she grabs her bag and storms away, leaving me baffled.)

Must Have Learned Geography At Trump University

, , , , , | | Right | May 18, 2019

(I work in a clothing store that does custom prints and embroideries. We also sell patches of flags with the country’s names next to them. Although most of them are countries, we have one design that is the Confederate flag, with “REBEL” written next to it.)

Customer #1: “Look, they have country flags!”

Customer #2: “Brazil, Canada, Chile, China… Wow, that’s a lot. But what kind of country is ‘Ree-bell’? I’ve never heard of that one before.”

Customer #1: “I think that’s one of the Mexican countries.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, I think you’re right. It does sound a bit Mexican.” *poorly imitating a Hispanic accent* “Rrree-bell! Arriba!”

(Dear God, why?)

(Under)Weary Of Your Sexist Attitude

, , , , , | | Right | May 17, 2019

(I work at a clothing store for women’s intimates at a mall. It’s a slow day and not many people are coming in other than to look around. Usually, people are nice, but today was different. I’m a girl and a manager at the store. A man walks into the store with a sack of undergarments for women.)

Me: “May I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to return these.”

Me: “Great. Do you have a receipt or the packaging?”

(The underpants don’t really look used, but store policy is that we can’t return them without them.)

Customer: “I have neither. Can I please return them?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we can’t take them back without the packaging or the receipt.”

(For the next ten minutes the man keeps asking why I can’t take them back.)

Me: “Sir, there is absolutely no way I can take these back without the packaging or a receipt; there would be no way to tell if this came from our store!”

Customer: “Fine, then bring me a manager!”

Me: “Sir, I am a manager.”

Customer: “This cannot be!”

(Obviously, he thinks women can’t in any way be in charge of anything.)

Me: “Sir, I’m telling the truth, and I can’t take your merchandise without the packaging or receipt.”

Customer: “I will find another manager!”

(The man left the store and headed into the mall like he was going to find another manager out there. I never saw him again.)