Hope She Goes Away With The Flow

, | Luton, England, UK | Bizarre, Popular

(I work as a shop assistant in quite an expensive high street store. Because of the relatively costly items, customers expect a certain level of customer service. We also wear clothing from the store as our uniform, but with no real way of identifying staff, we usually greet our customers while we’re tidying the shop floor. I am going about my business when a customer walks in. I give it about 30 seconds before approaching her.)

Me: “Good morning.”

Customer: “Hi. I was just looking for some clothes. Is that okay?”

Me: “Of course. What sort of clothing were you after?”

Customer: “Just clothes. Am I in the right place?”

(I realise that she is trying to make some kind of point.)

Customer: “This ‘customer service’ nonsense is ridiculous. ‘Are you all right? Do you need any help?’ It interrupts the flow of shopping. Shopping is an experience, and the shop assistant getting in your face interrupts the flow of shopping.”

Me: “Well, as we wear clothing from the store, staff members can be a little tricky to identify if they aren’t behind the till, so we greet customers so they know who to look out for if they need any help.”

Customer: “’Need help,’ pfft. If I need help I’ll come and find you. You don’t need to ask me if I need help. Do you know that leading psychologists (that’s what I do, I’m trained in psychology) have found that most people hate shopping now because of all this ‘customer service’ so they’d rather shop online? Isn’t that sad? Shopping is an experience and customer service is simply ruining it.”

Me: “We carry out customer surveys on a regular basis and we’ve found that customers actually request this kind of service and many of them shop here not only because of the clothing but also the standard of customer service we uphold, but I’m sure if you wrote a letter to the company they would take your thoughts on board.”

(She carried on for 10 minutes before she stopped “interrupting the flow of my working.”)


Size ‘L’ For Lazy

| The Netherlands | Bad Behavior, Popular

(During my studies, I work part time at a high-end clothing store. One of my tasks is to fold clothes in the women’s department. I’ve just folded a high pile of baby-pink polo shirts, when a woman comes up and starts pulling on the bottom of the pile.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Woman: “I need this in size L.” *pulls random polos from the pile*

Me: *grabs polo* “Here you go, an L.”

(The woman heads for the fitting room, and just as I have reshaped the pile to something neat, she returns and throws her crumpled polo shirt on top of it.)

Woman: “Aaah, no. You know? Pink just isn’t my colour. Now, fold.

(She waves her hand at me to make me work.)

Me: “…”


Wouldn’t Want To Be In Their Shoes

| UT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Popular

(It’s a slow day, and I’m the only cashier up at the registers. A frazzled mom comes up to make her purchases with her chatty toddler son in tow. The kid is talking non-stop, pointing out every little thing, and obviously has been doing so for some time. The mother is quickly losing her patience and hardly says a word to me.)

Me: *reaching for a pair of toddler boy shoes to scan* “Hey, bud, are these awesome shoes for you?”

(The little boy nods excitedly and stops mid-sentence to begin chatting about his shoes. The mother cuts in.)

Customer: “Obviously those are for him. Please don’t talk to my son.”

(The rest of the transaction was done in uncomfortable silence, save for the little boy continuing to chat away non-stop. To this day I’m still dumbfounded over her response!)


Redo This Coupon, Sharp(ie)!

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests

(The customer is an elderly woman. After ringing up her 30 items, I hand her her receipt and one of our coupons, which are valid for the five days after the purchase. She has been pretty nice up to this point, but now her face is scrunched up in anger.)

Elderly Customer: “These dates don’t work for me! Change them!”

Me: *taken aback* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t have the power to do that.”

Elderly Customer: “Just Sharpie them in!”


Sadly, There IS A Doctor In The House

| Manhattan, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work at a very upscale store in Manhattan. A lot of our clientele are successful business folk with expensive tastes.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can you come over here a moment?”

(I walk over to where a sour faced female customer in a pricey but nondescript business suit is giving me a death glare.)

Manager: “Is this the gentleman who served you?”

Customer: “That’s him! You are a disgrace, you know that?”

Me: “I… um… I’m sorry, but what did I do to upset you?”

Customer: “Are you serious? The entire transaction you constantly referred to me as ‘ma’am’ and ‘miss’!”

Me: *now even more confused* “Yes, I was being polite?”

Customer: “Polite? I’m a doctor you idiot! DOC-TOR! Can you say that word? Doooc-tooor? Do you know what it means?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I know what—”

Customer: “There you go again! It’s DOCTOR! Not ma’am!” *to my manager* “Seriously, is this what [Clothing Store] has been reduced to?”

Manager: “Uh, first off, ma’am…”

Customer: “DOCTOR!”

Manager: “Right, doctor, did you perchance tell my associate that you wished to be addressed as such?”

Customer: “Well, no. He should’ve known!”

Manager: “Really? Did you show him any ID confirming you were a doctor?”

Customer: “No, I shouldn’t have to.”

Manager: “Is your title stated anywhere? Say on your driver’s license?”

Customer: “No.”

Manager: “Then, may I ask, how is he supposed to know you’re a doctor if you didn’t give him any indication of such?”

Customer: “What? Well I’m wearing a nice and expensive suit for one!”

Manager: “Uh… so is every other customer in the store currently, ma’am.”

Customer: “IT’S DOCTOR! NOT MA’AM! You know what? Forget it! I’m never shopping here again if you’re all this incompetent!”

(She storms out.)

Me: “So… am I in trouble?”

Manager: “Oh, no… Well, unless you’re unlucky enough to visit whatever medical practice she works at. Geeez!”

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