Unfashionably Late

| MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Top

(My store offers fashion shows. It’s the day before an event, and I’m making last minute arrangements when I get paged that someone is there to talk about the show.)

Customer: “I’d like to schedule a fashion show with you guys to support my women’s club.”

Me: “Of course! Let me explain to you quickly what we’ll do for you.”

(I give her a quick rundown of the fashion show program, and what we offer, but she’s tapping her foot and looking at her watch.)

Customer: “I’m REALLY in a rush here; can we hurry it up?”

Me: “Sure! Tell you what, all the information you need is in this packet, and there’s the contracts I will need you to sign. Why don’t you return those to me when you’re able, and we’ll work out a date that isn’t taken?”

Customer: “A date that isn’t taken? I need it NOW!”

Me: “Now?”

Customer: “The event starts in an hour; I just need you to bring the stuff.”

Me: “Ma’am… I schedule fashion shows six months out.”

Customer: “What? You mean that you won’t do it?”

Me: “On this short notice? No.”

Customer: “But I’ve been advertising this for months! We’ve sold over 100 tickets! We have themed the whole event around it!”

Me: “Wait, so you printed invitations and got decorations, but didn’t talk to me until now?”

Customer: “Oh, just grab your models! I don’t have time for this.”

Me: “I don’t just keep the models in the back room!”

Left A Stool In The Stall

| Woodbridge, VA, USA | Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I work in the changing room of a popular teen clothing-store.)

Customer: “Where is your bathroom?”

Me: “Oh, our bathroom is in the back. We can’t let you go back there. If you go out the store, and turn left, there is a restroom over by [sub shop].”

Customer: “Can’t I just use it this once? Please?”

Me: “No, I’m very sorry. But that restroom near [sub place] is really only a three-minute-walk from here.”

Customer: “Why can’t I just use yours! I really need to go!”

Me: “No, ma’am. We have merchandise back there; I can’t let you use it.”

Customer: “B****!”

(She storms out of the store. I go on break for half an hour. When I come back, there is a horrific smell coming from the changing rooms. I go back there, and I see the customer standing outside one of our back stalls.)

Customer: “Serves you right!”

(She runs out of the store as I turn to look into the stall. She’d grabbed a bunch of clothes, thrown them on the floor, and urinated and defecated on them.)

Me: “I’m not cleaning that up.”

Coworker: “Teen girls be crazy!”

Not Sue-ted To Shoplifting

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Theme Of The Month

(I spot a young woman looking shiftily around, obviously checking to make sure no associates are watching her. I step up behind her as quietly as I can; she hasn’t spotted me yet. She starts putting a couple stacks of shirts into her bag.)

Me: “Ah-HEM!”

(She freezes, and slowly turns around.)

Woman: “I was just—”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

Woman: “I really need—”

Me: “Mm-hmm?”

(She sheepishly puts the stack of shirts back onto the table, and starts to walk towards the exit.)

Me:All of it please, ma’am.”

(She scowls like a little kid, stomping over and throwing the last shirt in her bag at me.)

Woman: “I’ll sue you all!” *stomps out*