Way Out Of Line

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Wild & Unruly

(I work at a high end clothing store that’s having a massive sale. Even with all five checkouts open, the line of customers is still nearly 30 people long. I’m working on restocking some shirts when I see a pair of young girl customers cut to the front of the line directly in front of another customer.)

Customer: “Ladies, I’m sorry, but there is a line.”

Girl #1: “Man, why do you care if we cut? It’s just one purchase; you can stand to wait a few more minutes.”

Customer: “That wouldn’t be fair to the people behind me. Please go to the back of the line.”

Girl #2: “F*** you! You little punk-a**! If my girl wants to cut in front of you, then you can’t stop her.”

(Sighing, the customer calls to one of my coworkers.)

Customer: “Can you please escort these ladies to the back of the line?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ladies, but you do have to move to the back, and I’m going to have to ask you to tone down your language.”

Girl #1: “Man, f*** this! This b****-a** just don’t want to help me.”

(Both of them turn back to the customer.)

Girl #1: “This is all your fault you gay mother-f*****!”

(At this, both girls swing at the customer, punching him in the face and neck.)

Customer: *wincing* “Well, that would probably count as battery, and maybe even assault. Are there any more crimes you want to commit before you get kicked out?”

Girl #2: “Oh, big f****** man, hiding behind some b****-a** cops because you’re scared to fight.”

(Girl #2 punches the customer in the face again, only to be sent flying about five feet from a single palm thrust to the stomach from the man. The two girls end up calling the police to report the customer for attacking them. Unfortunately for them, our store cameras are quite good, and pick up the entire preceding conversation and their initial assault. The police officer even offers to arrest the girls for attacking the customer. Luckily for them, he decides it is too much trouble dealing with them.)

Let’s Play The Generation Blame

, | UK | Bizarre, History

(I am in the fitting rooms. An older customer is waiting for his grand-daughter to try on some clothes.)

Customer: “Been working long?”

Me: “No, I only do eight hours a week because of college.”

Customer: “Huh. Eight hours! I used to go to college six hours a day, and then work for 48 hours! Kids these days are lazy.”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “And you know what wage I was on! £1! That’s right. You kids have your ‘minimum wage’ and your ‘rights.’ I got £1 for 48 hours and some weeks, I wouldn’t even get paid if I didn’t do my job well!”

Me: “Oh…”

Customer: “So, going anywhere nice this summer?”

Me: “I’m going to Spain in July.”

Customer: “You know some people go on holiday and just go from the hotel to the beach and back again. That’s not a holiday! You should be out exploring! Is that what you do?”

Me: “Not usually. Usually I go looking at castles and other historical places. But this time I’m going with friends, sort of a last holiday before we all separate for University. So we’ll mostly be on the beach.”

Customer: “LAZY! THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE! ALL YOU DO IS STAND HERE IN THE FITTING ROOM, GABBING OFF, AND THEN YOU GO ON TONS OF HOLIDAYS A YEAR AND LIE ON BEACHES! SOME OF US WORK FOR A LIVING! IF YOU GOT UP OFF YOUíRE A*** AND GOT A JOB, YOU’D SEE YOU CAN’T JUST SIT AROUND ALL DAY!”

Way Under-Branded

| Regina, SK, Canada | Extra Stupid, Funny Names

(My clothing store has just sent out an email announcing ‘Winter Sale Underway!’ )

Me: “Hello [store], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I was wondering if you have any ‘Underway?'”

Me: “Pardon?”

Caller: “Do you have any ‘Underway?'”

Me: “Do you mean underwear?”

Caller: “No! ‘Underway!’ It’s a brand, and it’s supposed to be on sale!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I’m not familiar with that brand.”

Caller: “God! You’re useless! Get me someone who knows what ‘Underway’ is!”

(I hand the phone off to the manager, who goes through the same conversation.)

Manager: “Ma’am, ‘Winter Sale Underway’ means that a winter sale is coming. ‘Underway’ isn’t a brand.”

Customer: *hangs up*

(We still don’t know if the customer came for the sale.)