Setting Daddy’s Little Girl Straight

| New Haven, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money, Rude & Risque, Top

(I’m gay and working in a clothing store for teens/young adults. A roughly 15-year-old girl comes into the store. Her dad is sitting on a bench right outside the store in clear view of the check-out counter.)

Girl: “Hey there. Do you offer discounts for pretty girls?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. Unless you have a coupon, your total will be [total].”

Girl: “Maybe you can give me a discount for a different kind of coupon?” *slowly pops open the top buttons of her shirt*

Me: “Oh, honey, you’re gonna need a few more years and a surgery before that’s going to work on me.”

Girl: *scowling* “Are you calling me flat-chested?”

Me: “Different kind of surgery, honey.” *pointing out my rainbow bracelet*

Girl: “Oh, ew!”

(The girl’s dad has managed to storm right up next to his daughter without her noticing. He’s clearly fuming.)

Girl’s Dad: “You better have a good reason for flashing this kid your cleavage, [Girl’s Full Name].”

(He made her put all her clothes back and leave the store in tears.)

Got Him On Collar ID

| FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Caller: “Hello, I bought a shirt in your store earlier today and the sign said $12 but I was charged $17. I’d like to return it.”

Me: “Oh goodness, I’m so sorry that happened to you! You can just come in and I’ll be more than happy to help you return that and make it right.”

Caller: “I’d like to return it over the phone, though.”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t return a shirt without the shirt itself.”

Caller: “…”

Me: “…”

Caller: “Why not?”

Providing Extra Service

| New York, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

(I work at a cash register at a fairly popular clothing store. A customer walks up to me with a t-shirt in hand.)

Customer: “Do you have this in size extra-medium?”

Me: *stares blankly* “An extra-medium?”

Customer: “Yeah. The medium just doesn’t fit.”

Me: “Is it too big?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Is it too small?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then what’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “It’s not medium enough.”

Me: “I’ll see what I can do about that.”

(I take the shirt into the back room and take out a sharpie. I carefully draw an ‘X’ in front of the ‘M’ on the tag of the shirt. I then return and hand the shirt to the customer. He checks the tag, then goes and tries it on in the fitting room. I see him again at the checkout counter.)

Me: “Were you happy with your shirt?”

Customer: “Yeah. That extra-medium fits so much better than the medium!”