I Have A Background In Defunct Websites

| Newark, DE, USA | Related | November 24, 2015

(My sister and I are browsing the kids’ section at a retail store. She spots a bright, multi-colored girls’ winter jacket covered in stars, nebulas, and other cosmic designs.)

Sister: “Wow! That coat looks like somebody’s MySpace background threw up on it.”

Rounding Up Versus Dumbing Down

| Portland, OR, USA | Working | October 13, 2015

(My store is raising money for a charity and competing with other stores in the same franchise. Every cashier is supposed to ask each customer if they want to donate a dollar, but the customers aren’t really biting. Eventually I get an idea.)

Me: “Would you like to round your purchase up to the next dollar to donate to [Charity]?”

Customer: “Oh, sure!”

(It goes like this for a while. Sometimes customers even donate more than a dollar out of generosity. According to the posters in the break rooms, using this strategy our store winds up in the lead. One day my manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: “Are you the one having customers round their purchases up?”

Me: “Yeah.” *expecting him to comment on how clever it was*

Manager: “You need to stop. The numbers aren’t round.”

Me: “…but we’re in the lead. And we’re doing this for charity.”

Manager: “A round dollar amount looks better.”

(Predictably, going back to asking customers if they want to donate a dollar didn’t work. But at least the numbers looked nice!)

‘Entitled’ Doesn’t Even Begin To Cover It

| IL, USA | Right | September 10, 2015

(We are currently having a clearance sale. Kids’ clearance items are an extra 20% off. It either comes up when I ring up the item or there is a sticker on the tag that is the final price that already has the 20% taken off.)

Customer: “Don’t I get an extra 20% off of these items?”

(I ask my manager and she says that it’ll come up when I ring it up or the price on the tag is the final price. I tell that to the customer.)

Customer: “But I should get an extra 20% off.”

(Most of these items are already extremely cheap, as in $2.00 and under. My manager comes over to my register and explains to the customer what she already told me.)

Customer: “I don’t think you understand what I’m saying. These things should be an extra 20% off.”

(My manager apologizes again and says there’s nothing she can do. Customer continues to get angry and argue with my manager.)

Customer: “I’m a silver level cardholder! I’m entitled!”

Not Giving The Staff Enough Credit

| IL, USA | Right | September 9, 2015

(I work at a clothing store, we have a pinpad where customers can swipe their cards but we have to swipe the card at the register. And we have to ask if it’s credit or debit, and if it’s credit we need to ask to see the customer’s ID.)

Me: “Is that credit or debit?”

Customer: *says as if I don’t understand English* “This is a… credit… card. It’s American Express.”

Only Six-And-A-Half Inches From Crazytown

| AB, Canada | Right | July 21, 2015

(I work at a popular store, and it’s during the Christmas rush. I see an older gentleman looking around in the pants section.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you? Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “Actually. I’m looking for a pair of jeans.”

Me: “Well you have come to the right place! We have lots of jeans in a wide range of colors. And if we don’t have what you need, we can order it!”

Customer: “Well, I don’t really care about the color. But I need them to have a good zipper.”

Me: “Okay, well our zippers are made to top quality standards. We have a 100% satisfaction guarantee, so if it does break, you can bring it back.”

Customer: “Well, I need the zipper to be exactly 6 1/2  inches long. Any longer or shorter, they just won’t do.

(Seeing as this is kind of unusual, and our jeans don’t come with the zipper length mentioned on either the tag or anywhere else, I am unsure what to say.)

Me: “…Um, okay. Well, I can go and grab a measuring tape if you would like.”

Customer: “Would you? Because I have looked everywhere and no one seems to carry them.”

(A minute later I return with the measuring tape and we start measuring zipper lengths. But all of them are either too short or too long for his liking.)

Customer: “Well, at least we can order them in.”

Me: “We can order the same jeans we have here, but the zipper lengths won’t change.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you people just leave a note saying that it’s very important that I have a 6 1/2 inch zipper?”

Me: “I could, but seeing as it’s the busiest season of the year, they may not be able to check all the zippers to find you one that suits your needs. And seeing as we don’t have a 6 1/2 inch zipper here, I doubt they will either.”

Customer: “So basically you lied to me?”

Me: “I’m sorry we didn’t have what you were looking for, but you are looking for something very exact.”

Customer: “So you are saying this is my fault that you b****** don’t have what I am looking for?!”

Me: “Once again I’m—”

Customer: “No! Save it for all the other people you aren’t going to help. You can expect to hear from me in the future!”

(He yells as he storms out of the store. We never did hear from that customer. Maybe he just learned to zip his mouth.)

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