(A customer walks in, and I start helping her out with styles and sizes. Her mom walks in right behind her while I’m starting a fitting room.)
Me: “So, I’m just going to start you out with these styles first. Let me know how they fit.”
Daughter: “Okay, thanks!”
(While she’s trying her clothes on, I’m folding product and talking to my coworker.)
Mom: “Excuse me, sir!”
Me: “Yes! How’s everything going?”
Mom: “Are you gay?”
Me: *chuckling* “Excuse me?”
Mom: “Are you gay? You’re well groomed, well dressed, and smell good… and, all gay guys look and smell like you. Plus, you know what looks good.”
Me: “Yes, I am.”
Mom: “Tell me, how does my daughter look in that outfit? Would you let her be your Hag?”
Daughter: *blood-shot face* “MOM!” *to me* “I’m sorry, sir.”
Mom: “What?! The gays always have beautiful girls surrounding them!”
(I’m scanning through a customer’s purchases when a pack of socks flies onto the desk from nowhere. My customer, who is a woman, exchanges waves with who I assume is her husband.)
Me: “He’s got a dangerous throw on him, doesn’t he?”
Customer: *to her husband* “Hear that? She says you’re dangerous!” *to me* “You can hit him if you want.”
Me: “Um, I’m not allowed to hit customers.”
Customer: “Don’t worry, I won’t tell!”
(I am working on a till that frequently has problems with the scanner. I attempt to scan a customer’s item, but the barcode won’t go through and I mouth a swear to myself.)
Customer: “Go on, say it.”
Customer’s Husband: “What did she do?”
Customer: “Swore under her breath.” *turns back to me* “You can say it. Vents the frustrations!”
Me: “I’m afraid I’m not allowed to swear in front of the customers.”
Customer: “Shall I say it for you?”
Me: “If you like.”
Me: “Ah, I feel better now.”
(A customer in her mid-30s approaches me. Note that we use the same standard sizing that is commonly found in other clothing stores.)
Customer: “Excuse me.”
Customer: “What size am I?”
Me: “Well, what size clothes are you wearing right now?”
Customer: “I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you.”
Me: “Well, why don’t we get you a size that looks right and you try those on?”
Customer: “And then what?”
Me: “If they’re too big, then you try on the size that’s smaller until you find the right one.”
Customer: “Great idea. Thank you!”
A Day In An Employee’s Life. This week, we share five stories that share the ups and downs (well, mostly the latter) of being an employee. If you’ve ever wanted to share with a friend what your job is like, send them this roundup!
- Teaching The Next Generation:
Fold…unfold…fold…unfold…It’s a wonder more clothing store employees haven’t gone crazy!
- A Time To Laugh, But Mostly A Time To Cry:
This one will get you teary eyed: A customer’s precocious little girl leaves a big, smelly surprise in the changing room.
- Mrs. Understanding:
Teach your children by example…the example of poor, suffering employees, that is.
- In This War, There Are No Winners:
When they say “stick it to the man,” they probably weren’t referring to the guy stuck cleaning up your mess with a mop and a broom.
- Nothin’ Like A Good Old Existential Meltdown:
Customers often ask stupid questions, but on occasion they can have profoundly earth-shattering ramifications.
PS: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!