In No Hurry, So Talk About Surrey

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | December 20, 2015

(I work at one of the few remaining companies that haven’t sourced out their call centers. It had been a nightmare day when I get this call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “I would like to place an order; we’re having trouble on your website.”

Me: “We can certainly do that for you today, sir. Have you ordered with us before?”

Caller: “No, I haven’t.”

Me: “All right, let me create a profile for you really quick, sir.” *it’s here I finally notice he has a British accent* “And sir, I would like to warn you, if you want to ship this to England in time for Christmas, that deadline has passed.”

Caller: “Oh, no, it’s just going to Ohio.”

Me: “Wonderful! Let’s get you taken care of.”

(I start to fill his information in for our system, when he starts to give me the billing address, that’s when I find out he’s from Surrey.)

Me: “I have a friend who’s from that area. He says it’s lovely.”

Caller: “Oh, it is, very lovely. I would suggest hanging onto that friend. Surrey is like the Hamptons.”

Me: “He’s married, or I would take your advice, sir.”

(We place the order and get the credit card information while chatting about California, where he is for the holidays, his grandchildren, and, oddly enough, ‘Les Misérables.’)

Me: “And your total is [total] and we’re sending this out with our free standard shipping. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Caller: “No, but thank you [My Name]. You’ve really restored my faith in humanity during this time of year.”

Me: “Thank you, sir, but I am just doing my job and it was a pleasure to speak with you today.”

Caller: “Merry Christmas!”

Me: “Merry Christmas, sir.”

(He hung up at that point and I wanted so badly to send him a gift card or something. He was so kind and made me smile the rest of the day. It’s those kind of customers that make me love my job even more.)

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Way Short Of Political Correctness

| CA, USA | Working | December 9, 2015

(I work at a popular retail clothing store. I am rather short at 5’0″ tall, and the clothing racks are the same height. With sign toppers on them, I’m practically invisible. This conversation happens over our headsets.)

Manager: “Someone get over to ladies, QUICK! There’s a little kid with a pole trying to get something off the wall! HURRY!”

(I’m in ladies, so I stop what I’m doing and look around. I don’t see any poles up.)

Manager: *approaches me, out of breath from running, and talks into his walkie* “It’s okay, everyone. It was just [My Name].”

Should Have Checked Before

| Yorba Linda, CA, USA | Right | December 8, 2015

(Working as a cashier at a teen clothing store on a busy night.)

Customer: *hands me a check to pay for her clothes*

Me: *inspecting the check* “I’m sorry, I can’t accept this check.”

Customer: *already becoming angry* “And why not?”

Me: “Your address and the bank address are not on the check.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “There is no way for me to verify that this check is linked to your account. It’s like a credit card, we need to be able to check your ID to the check to make sure it’s yours.”

Customer: “But is mine. I got it from the bank.”

Me: “I understand that, but there is no way for ME to know. Policy is that I need to check your ID against the name and address on the check, and the bank address needs to be present.”

Customer: *starts yelling* “What do you mean? I’ve got $100 worth of clothes here. I’m a paying customer!”

Me: “I understand. Do you have another form of payment you can use?”

Customer: “Another form of payment? No! I just gave you my form of payment! Get me your manager!”

Me: *using the headset to ask for a manager while she continues yelling at me*

Manager: “I’m sorry, but we can’t accept this check.”

Customer: “Why? It’s mine.”

Manager: “How can I tell?

Customer: “Because I gave it to you.”

Manager: “But how can I tell you aren’t giving me someone else’s check? There is no name anywhere. If you look at this sign right here, you’ll see that this is a form of payment we can’t accept. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I’m standing here giving it to you. It’s money! Take my money! This is ridiculous!”

Manager: “No, YOU’RE being ridiculous. If you’re going to stand here and yell at me because I won’t take a clearly fraudulent check, you can take your business elsewhere.”

Customer: “FINE.” *takes her fake check and leaves*

Manager: *looks at me, shrugs, laughs, and goes about his business*

Has A Head For Getting What She Wants

| Oxford, England, UK | Related | December 6, 2015

(I am at the back of a clothes shop browsing the women’s nightwear and lingerie section when a mother and her young daughter (about three) come along. Note that in the UK, ‘pants’ means underwear, not trousers.)

Tiny Girl: *picks up some patterned underwear* “Look mummy! Nice pants!”

Mother: “They are nice, aren’t they?”

(After a few minutes the mother goes to leave and notices she still has the

underwear.)

Mother: “We’re going now; put the pants down, please.”

Tiny Girl: *looks at mother*

Tiny Girl: *looks at pants*

Tiny Girl: *looks at mother*

Tiny Girl: *puts pants on head*

Acting Super Fly In Superdry

| London, England, UK | Right | December 3, 2015

(I work in a brand-name British clothing store. The brand is British, but as an artistic choice most of the clothing has Japanese text and the word ‘Japan’ in the logo, so it is common for a lot of customers to think the brand is Japanese. I am Chinese but I was born and raised in the UK.)

Customer #1: *to [Customer #2]:*  “Why are we in this stupid store?”

Customer #2: “Because I like it! And I like supporting British companies.”

Customer #1: “You’re so stupid! This is a Japanese company! All you’re doing is supporting the Japanese!”

Me: “Sorry to interrupt, madam, but I couldn’t help overhearing. [Store] is actually a British company. The Japanese element is just an artistic choice. Not only that, but all our clothes are made in the UK as well.”

Customer #1: “You’re just saying that because you’re Japanese! You just want to send our money back to Japan!”

Me: “I was actually born here, madam, and not that it matters, but my ethnicity is Chinese, not Japanese.”

Customer #1: “Same thing!”

Customer #2: “Oh, my God! You can’t say that!”

Customer #1: “Sure I can.”

Me: “Madam, I couldn’t help but notice that you are carrying some [Other Brand Clothing Store] shopping bags.”

Customer #1: “So?”

Me: “That is an American brand. I am sure the USA appreciates your support.”

Customer #1: “Whatever!”

Customer #2: “Oh, shut up, [Customer #1]! And besides, you’re Polish!”

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