How Em-Bra-assing, Part 2

| PA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Popular

(I work at a popular chain of plus sized women’s clothing stores. A woman comes in with her son, who looks about eight or so. Our bras are in the back corner of our store. The mother instructs her son to sit on a bench, and has me size her for a bra and then help her figure out what one(s) work best.)

Me: *turns around to show the woman a rack of new bras and sees that her son is no longer on the bench* “Uh, ma’am? Did you have a kid with you?”

Customer: *whips around* “What? Oh, god! [Kid]?! Where are you?” *starts searching the whole store, including under the panty tables and in clothes racks*

Me: *quietly use my walkie to tell the manager a woman’s kid likely ran off somewhere and ask if I should call mall security*

Customer: *starts coming back, looking like she’s either ready to cry or rip my head off because some people think it’s my job to watch their kids*

(The kid suddenly crawls out from underneath a dressing room door, in our leopard corset lingerie (completely fastened, mind you) with his T shirt stuffed into the bra cups and the stocking straps clipped onto his shorts.)

Kid: *clearly very proud of himself* “MOM! I’m Catwoman!”

Me: *goes entirely silent and just stares, at a complete loss as to what to do*

(My manager steps out of back room and then abruptly turns back in, but I can hear him on my walkie earpiece.)

Manager: “I am NOT dealing with that.”

(Things ended up fine. The kid did get scolded for disappearing, but his mother really couldn’t get mad at the corset thing because it was just too funny. Normally, I hate children, but this kid was great. He’s going somewhere in life, I just know it.)

Related:
How Em-bra-assing

Sales End, But Stupidity Is Forever

| Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a clothing store where we had a sale that ended a couple of weeks prior to this day. Customer comes to the register and throws the blouse on the counter. She starts to tell me about her purchase the week we had the sale, and tells me she got a price adjustment, because she bought a blouse just a couple days prior to the sale.)

Customer: “I want to pay the sale price for this.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “This was cheaper a couple of weeks ago. So, I want to pay that price.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our sale is over.”

Customer: “You don’t get it. I WANT to buy a new blouse and I WANT pay the sale price.”

Me: “I understand. Like you mentioned before, you got a price adjustment for the prior blouse you bought, but the sale is now over.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I don’t want to pay the regular price. I want the sale price. I want to buy this new blouse for the sale price.”

Me: “I understand, but when our sales are over, the clothing goes back to our regular price. Therefore, I cannot grant you a sale price if the sale is over. As you told me before, you were able to get a price adjustment for the same blouse you bought, but if you want to purchase a new blouse, it must be paid in full price, because the sale is now over. You’re more than welcome to give us a call next week and check with us for any sales, or if this blouse happens to go on sale again, you may get the price adjusted.”

Customer: “No, you REALLY don’t get it. I don’t understand why you can’t give me the sale price. But, I’ll just pay for it.”

In No Hurry, So Talk About Surrey

| Seattle, WA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work at one of the few remaining companies that haven’t sourced out their call centers. It had been a nightmare day when I get this call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “I would like to place an order; we’re having trouble on your website.”

Me: “We can certainly do that for you today, sir. Have you ordered with us before?”

Caller: “No, I haven’t.”

Me: “All right, let me create a profile for you really quick, sir.” *it’s here I finally notice he has a British accent* “And sir, I would like to warn you, if you want to ship this to England in time for Christmas, that deadline has passed.”

Caller: “Oh, no, it’s just going to Ohio.”

Me: “Wonderful! Let’s get you taken care of.”

(I start to fill his information in for our system, when he starts to give me the billing address, that’s when I find out he’s from Surrey.)

Me: “I have a friend who’s from that area. He says it’s lovely.”

Caller: “Oh, it is, very lovely. I would suggest hanging onto that friend. Surrey is like the Hamptons.”

Me: “He’s married, or I would take your advice, sir.”

(We place the order and get the credit card information while chatting about California, where he is for the holidays, his grandchildren, and, oddly enough, ‘Les Misérables.’)

Me: “And your total is [total] and we’re sending this out with our free standard shipping. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Caller: “No, but thank you [My Name]. You’ve really restored my faith in humanity during this time of year.”

Me: “Thank you, sir, but I am just doing my job and it was a pleasure to speak with you today.”

Caller: “Merry Christmas!”

Me: “Merry Christmas, sir.”

(He hung up at that point and I wanted so badly to send him a gift card or something. He was so kind and made me smile the rest of the day. It’s those kind of customers that make me love my job even more.)

Should Have Checked Before

| Yorba Linda, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

(Working as a cashier at a teen clothing store on a busy night.)

Customer: *hands me a check to pay for her clothes*

Me: *inspecting the check* “I’m sorry, I can’t accept this check.”

Customer: *already becoming angry* “And why not?”

Me: “Your address and the bank address are not on the check.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “There is no way for me to verify that this check is linked to your account. It’s like a credit card, we need to be able to check your ID to the check to make sure it’s yours.”

Customer: “But is mine. I got it from the bank.”

Me: “I understand that, but there is no way for ME to know. Policy is that I need to check your ID against the name and address on the check, and the bank address needs to be present.”

Customer: *starts yelling* “What do you mean? I’ve got $100 worth of clothes here. I’m a paying customer!”

Me: “I understand. Do you have another form of payment you can use?”

Customer: “Another form of payment? No! I just gave you my form of payment! Get me your manager!”

Me: *using the headset to ask for a manager while she continues yelling at me*

Manager: “I’m sorry, but we can’t accept this check.”

Customer: “Why? It’s mine.”

Manager: “How can I tell?

Customer: “Because I gave it to you.”

Manager: “But how can I tell you aren’t giving me someone else’s check? There is no name anywhere. If you look at this sign right here, you’ll see that this is a form of payment we can’t accept. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I’m standing here giving it to you. It’s money! Take my money! This is ridiculous!”

Manager: “No, YOU’RE being ridiculous. If you’re going to stand here and yell at me because I won’t take a clearly fraudulent check, you can take your business elsewhere.”

Customer: “FINE.” *takes her fake check and leaves*

Manager: *looks at me, shrugs, laughs, and goes about his business*

Acting Super Fly In Superdry

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Geography, Money

(I work in a brand-name British clothing store. The brand is British, but as an artistic choice most of the clothing has Japanese text and the word ‘Japan’ in the logo, so it is common for a lot of customers to think the brand is Japanese. I am Chinese but I was born and raised in the UK.)

Customer #1: *to [Customer #2]:*  “Why are we in this stupid store?”

Customer #2: “Because I like it! And I like supporting British companies.”

Customer #1: “You’re so stupid! This is a Japanese company! All you’re doing is supporting the Japanese!”

Me: “Sorry to interrupt, madam, but I couldn’t help overhearing. [Store] is actually a British company. The Japanese element is just an artistic choice. Not only that, but all our clothes are made in the UK as well.”

Customer #1: “You’re just saying that because you’re Japanese! You just want to send our money back to Japan!”

Me: “I was actually born here, madam, and not that it matters, but my ethnicity is Chinese, not Japanese.”

Customer #1: “Same thing!”

Customer #2: “Oh, my God! You can’t say that!”

Customer #1: “Sure I can.”

Me: “Madam, I couldn’t help but notice that you are carrying some [Other Brand Clothing Store] shopping bags.”

Customer #1: “So?”

Me: “That is an American brand. I am sure the USA appreciates your support.”

Customer #1: “Whatever!”

Customer #2: “Oh, shut up, [Customer #1]! And besides, you’re Polish!”

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