I create a slide deck for a client and am given this feedback:

Client: This word analysis. Change it to survey or review or something.

Me: “What’s the reason?”

Client: “Well, I’m not gay or anything like that, but all I see when I read the word analysis is anal.”

Me: “Would you be satisfied with probe?”

I had a client, retirement age, who was looking for a website for his new business. It was a pretty simple website since he was just starting so I quoted him a basic package of up to five pages. He sent over content for us to get started; it wasn’t a lot so it really only warranted one page, broken up into sections. We designed it fairly quickly and emailed the dev link for review.

The client calls with some simples edits and he is referencing where the edits are by page numbers. I was super confused and kept asking him for the sections titles so I knew where he was talking about. I soon realized he had printed his website and therefore was referring to his page numbers. We finally got through his edits when he asked if according to the quote he could have another page.

Still confused, I then realized that since his website was printed on 4.5 sheets he assumed that he has met his page limit for his website.

I didn’t want to make him feel stupid so I told him adding an additional page wouldn’t be a problem. I guess there is a first time for everything!

Client: “Hey! This DVD with the commercial doesn’t work!”

Me: “What do you mean it doesn’t work?”

Client: “I put it in the computer and this menu comes up and plays four seconds of music on a loop.”

Me: “Do you see the little icon in the bottom left of the screen that is a freeze-frame of your commercial?”

Client: “Yeah.”

Me: “Click that with your mouse.”

Client: “That seems like a lot of work.”

This is at the end of a client outline for a highly detailed engineering plan that will contain electrical utilities, security camera lines, fibre optic cables, and the like.

Client: “I don’t need it urgently, by the end of the day should be fine.”

Client: “I thought you said the website was friendly.”

Me: “It is. What issues did you experience?”

Client: “I typed in my password and I got the error. “Access Denied. Wrong Password”.”

Me: “If you would like, I can give you your username and password.”

Client: “A friendly website would’ve given me my password.”

Me: “Did you click on “Forgot my Password”?”

Client: “No, I didn’t forget it.”

An hour later, I got an email from the client telling me he forgot his password. He was wondering if there was a recovery system in place.