I am showing a friend of a friend the self-made silver jewelry I am wearing while we are chatting, proud of my work. I am not a jeweler by trade, but I put a lot of time and effort in and try and make every piece unique. I get compliments quite often. My friend is very positive about them. It’s a great start and a confidence boost!

Friend: “I want you to make me a ring.”

My spare time is limited, but I figure, “Well, let’s hear her out; it’s been a pleasant conversation so far.”

Me: “While yes, I make silver jewelry for fun for myself and presents occasionally when the mood and time are right, I don’t have the time and the resources generally to make rings or such on demand.”

Friend: “Oh, I totally understand, and of course, I’m willing to pay for it. I won’t need it for a long time, so you can do it at your leisure.”

I’ve done freelance work before; I’m interested. She then suggests the most intricate gem-set piece I would have ever made.

Friend: “I’m willing to pay €35 for it.”

Me: “Well, the ring you want is difficult and at least a few full evenings of work. Also, the base material cost of the precious metals and gems alone will be triple the €35. And that’s not counting other materials and costs, let alone time.”

This sets her off. Tirade incoming!

Friend: “What?! You should be happy that you’ll have a project to work on. Why should I pay for your time? You’re not doing it as a job, after all. Plus, it would mean practice for you. And on top of that, it means money for you to put back into your hobby to keep it going. Surely, you can get plenty of silver and gems at a big discount somewhere? And you must have some laying around, anyway — might as well put it to good use. You shouldn’t ask more than €35 until you go professional, as that’s enough for a ring made by a hobbyist who’s still learning.”

I try to interrupt, but she’s on a roll.

Friend: “Look, I promise to show my friends the ring at the party in two weeks and tell them all about our arrangement. I am absolutely sure you’ll get many more requests like mine from them if the ring turns out pretty enough. This will make sure you can practice even more!”

She was convinced she was doing me a favor and that I was silly if I could not see the boon in building a steady clientele that way. I could end up not making just one, but up to seven like this!

I never made the ring. I’m not sure I want to use all my spare time and spend a truckload of my own money for the “privilege” of making jewelry for strangers.

I work for a beverage distribution place in a very ritzy resort area. One client’s assistant shows up and says he needs a pallet of [Bottled Spring Water] for his boss’s house.

No problem. We load it on the truck, drive it up to his house, and unload it.

Me: “Where do you want this, sir?”

He leads us into the garage.

Client: “Can you help unload it?”

We started down-stacking and carrying cases of this expensive spring water into what I thought would be the kitchen or pantry.

Nope. We went straight through the house to the back deck. Oh. Okay, he was going to have a party? You would think so. But no.

He had us set the water down. I went back to get another dolly of packaged water. The assistant and some other household staff are already at work, uncapping individual bottles and dumping them out.

“Where?” you might ask. He was filling his hot tub with [Bottled Spring Water].

I told my boss about this, and he didn’t even bat an eye. It wasn’t even among the top ten contenders for weird things rich people did.

Related:
H2-OMG!, Part 2
H2-OMG!

Client: “I have a very specific idea in mind. Our company is from [State]. We are known for [State] lobsters. I would like my logo to show a red [State] lobster wearing a hard hat with the company name on the front. The lobster is tough-looking. I don’t want this to look too much like a cartoon character; I want it to be professional, but light-hearted, to show that our company is approachable. The lobster will be turning the wheel handle on a standard gate valve. For the gate valve, please note the number of holes on the side: eight in total. Do not include the brand name. I would like the gate valve to be silver or gray with a blue handle.”

As a relatively new designer, I met with a client in order to create a logo and a series of brochures. At the meeting, the clients told me:

Client: “Eventually, we’ll want you to create our website.”

Being a newbie and wanting to nab the client, I lowballed the cost for the branding so that I could get the website. After sending a proposal for the site, they told me:

Client: “This isn’t in our budget right now, but you’ll definitely design this for us eventually.”

Over time, I was asked to do other assignments for their business. They expected me to do it at the same rate that I had initially proposed. I delivered good designs in a timely fashion and dirt cheap. They were always happy with my work, which is why they kept coming back to me.

A year later, the client started making noise about getting a new website. As per their request, I sent a revised proposal for the website and was assured by the manager that I would definitely design their website, as they loved my work.

After a few weeks of not hearing from them, I inquired. I was told by the administrative assistant (and daughter of the managers):

Administrative Assistant: “Oh, I’m designing the website.”

Moral of the story? If you price yourself like dirt, you’ll be treated like it.

A client wanted an e-commerce store designed.

Me: “Do you have a budget?”

Client: “No; it costs what it costs.”

My partner and I proposed a very reasonable price, and in the proposal, we stated that additional hours would be billed at $60 per hour. She refused to even look at the proposal, handing it off to one of the interns to “deal with it.”

The project wore on for about three months, and we still hadn’t been paid for our initial invoice. We called the client.

Client: “My intern is handling it. You’ll get a cheque in the mail.”

About a week later, we hadn’t heard from her, so we did what we usually do: halt work and send them a message. The client phoned me after receiving the message, basically screaming at me.

Client: “This is too expensive! Spend no more than ten hours designing and programming it; I don’t want to spend more than $600!”

We had spent ten hours in meetings alone.