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A collection of client horror stories from designers and freelancers on CFH.

You’re Gonna Need A Lot Of White-Out

, , , , | Right | April 2, 2022

Client: “I saw the press release you published. I don’t like the picture; please change it.”

Me: “You’re holding today’s newspaper with the article in your hands, right?”

Client: “What’s your point?”

Lorem Whoopsum

, , , , , | Working | April 1, 2022

A while back, we employed a new design agency to create some simple webpage designs. Anyone familiar with this kind of work will be used to seeing faux-Latin “Lorem Ipsum” text used as placeholder text, which usually looks something like this:

Text: “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Morbi in leo eget enim imperdiet lacinia…” 

And so on.

The idea is that because it’s meaningless text, you don’t get distracted by reading it when looking at the design. However, the designs we received were instead filled with the following text:

Design Text: “Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry’s standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book…”

After being a bit baffled for a few minutes by this unorthodox choice, we Googled some of the text and realised what must have happened. Someone at the agency had obviously been instructed to “fill out the layout with text from [Website]” and literally did just that, with apparently no one checking their work before it was sent to us. They’d even copied the paragraph that explained why you don’t use readable text for page layouts!

We didn’t use that agency again.

Do You Need The Word “Okay” Translated?

, , , , , | Right | April 1, 2022

Client: “I need this translated from English by Monday.”

Me: “Are you okay with the price per page?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “Are you okay with the number of pages?”

Client: “Yes.”

On Monday…

Me: “Here is the document translated. That will be 200 euros.”

Client: “Oh, I thought it would be 30 or 40 euros. You just keep the document; I don’t have that much money.”

Wanna Bet They’re Using A Mac?

, , , , | Right | March 31, 2022

Client: “Can you update my Adobe?”

Me: “Sure. Which program are you using?”

Client: “You need to listen to me when I speak! Adobe!

Me: “Yes, I got that part. Adobe is the publisher, they make quite a—”

Client: “Adobe! I want my Adobe updated. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Me: “Adobe makes lots of programs. Like, you wouldn’t say, ‘I just updated my Microsoft—'”

Client: “Microsoft isn’t working, either. Find a solution for that while you’re at it.”

 

If It Wasn’t Before, It Is Now

, , , | Right | March 30, 2022

Client: “You’ve broken our contract. I’m not paying.”

Me: “Why would you think I have broken our contract?”

Client: “The title of the site was ‘Discover The Undiscovered,’ not ‘Discover Yourself’.”

Me: “Oh, my bad. Let me fix that.”

Client: “No, you’ve broken our contract. ‘Discover Yourself’ is too close to ‘F*** Yourself’. This shows me your attitude toward this project.”