I’m in a brainstorming session for a prenatal care website.

Client #1: “How hard would it be to have an unborn baby on the homepage that ushers you through the site?”

Client #2: “That would be creepy. What about just a regular out-of-the-womb baby?”

Client #1: “But then that’s not really pre-natal care, is it?”

Client #2: “True. Yeah, let’s stick with the unborn baby.”

My client is looking at Google Maps.

Client: “The arrow isn’t pointing to our company’s location. Can you change that?”

Me: “What arrow? The map doesn’t have an arrow. It’s just a map of your general location.”

Client: “How can you not see the giant arrow right there? Just fix it, man.”

It turned out it was an arrow-shaped lake.

Client: “Quick, what rhymes with ‘homepage’?”

Me: “Why?”

Client: “I’m making a song for the conference call, and I’m stuck.”

Me: “Roam… cage?”

Client: “…”

Me: “…”

Client: “That’s what you’re going with? ‘Roam cage’? And we hired you because you’re artistic?”

Client: “Why is this line bigger and bolder than the rest?”

Me: “Because it’s a headline.”

Client: “Well then, make the whole site a headline.”

Me: “You only need to click once to activate a link, rather than double-clicking like you’re doing.”

Client: “When did you change that? It’s always been double-click until today!”