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A collection of client horror stories from designers and freelancers on CFH.

The Truth Hertz

, , , , | Right | November 25, 2021

I’m a freelance designer at lunch with a client. He requests to see a wireframe on my laptop.

Client: “Wow, that loaded really fast! How is your laptop that fast?”

Me: “Well, I had to pay extra for a faster processor. This way, I get an extra gigahertz, and my programs can launch and render that much faster.”

Client: “Don’t you mean gigabytes? Everything in computers is measured in bytes and gigabytes.”

Me: “No, actually, that number is in gigahertz. It represents the frequency of—”

Client *Outraged.* “HOW DARE YOU TALK DOWN TO ME LIKE THAT! I was on IBM’s board when they designed the IBM PC! I have more knowledge of computers in one finger than you’ll ever have in your life! GIGAHERTZ HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH COMPUTERS!”

And right then, I decided I wanted nothing to do with him. 

Email Fail, Part 36

, , | Right | November 24, 2021

Client: “And could you burn the designs onto a CD once you’re done? I’ll have someone pick it up.”

Me: “I could email it to you if that’s to your convenience?”

Client: “Hmm… Well, I don’t have an e-mail, but you could send it to my Gmail?”

Email Fail, Part 35
Email Fail, Part 34
Email Fail, Part 33
Email Fail, Part 32
Email Fail, Part 31

We’re Going To Need More Than Photoshop…

, , , , | Right | November 24, 2021

Me: “Here are the photographs from the shoot yesterday.”

Client: “Nice shots; I like this one from behind the man. Can you just flip the image so we can see his face and not the back of his head?”

Me: “You want me to turn him around in the photograph so you can see his face?”

Client: “Yes, and maybe we can make him black. Do you have Photoshop?”

My Work Will Be Metaphorical Until You Make Sense

, , , | Right | November 23, 2021

After giving a client his requested site design, he made it clear he wasn’t pleased.

Me: “But that’s what you asked for…”

Client: “Yeah, but I meant that figuratively.”

Me: “So you don’t want it to look like this?”

Client: “No, I do. Just think of the site design as a metaphor of a real website.”

Me: “…What?!”

Doing Nothing Is The New Black

, , , , | Right | November 23, 2021

Client: “The text is not black enough.”

Me: “It is set as ‘Black’ in the style sheet…”

Client: “Okay, but can you make it blacker than that black?”

Me: “Hold on, I’ll try something. Give me an hour.”

I go to lunch.

Me: “Okay, can you refresh your browser now?”

Client: “Yes, that’s better, thanks.”