I work as a freelance photographer’s assistant. Last year, I had a new photographer call and ask me to assist her on a portrait shoot for a big national magazine. I thought, “Great! A new client and more work!” I looked at her website, and she seemed like a professional who did lots of interesting work. I thought maybe this could lead to a great working relationship.

This portrait shoot went smoothly, and everyone left happy that we had done a good job. I backed up all the files, she paid me cash so I was very happy, and we all went our separate ways home.

Later that night, I got a call from the photographer.

Client: “Where are all the photos?”

I talked her through to the folder on her computer where I had saved everything.

Client: “They’re not there.”

Me: “Well, are there any files in that folder?”

Client: “There’s a load of other files. No photos, though.”

Me: “What do you mean by ‘other files’?”

Client: “They all end with .cr2.”

CR2 files are Canon RAW files.

Me: “…how long have you been shooting digitally?”

Client: “About six years.”

She had never, in years of shooting digitally, shot RAW. She explained that she only ever shot in JPG and didn’t know what a RAW file was. I asked her what her normal post-production workflow was, and she didn’t understand. I asked her how she normally edited her photos after shoots.

Client: “Email. So what is a RAW file, then?”

A professional photographer who shot with a high-end DSLR, working for one of the big national magazines, asked me what a RAW file was.

I never worked for her again.

Client: “I recently saw all these A.I. generated images and it made me wonder if I can make those myself, why am I still paying you guys to draw stuff for me?”

Me: “Well, A.I. is definitely a powerful tool, I will give you that, but it still can’t match certain specifications that you can only get from a human artist.”

Client: “I think you should reduce your rates. In a market with this much competition, you should stay competitive.”

Me: “We don’t regard A.I. as competition so that won’t be happening.”

Client: “Fine! We’ll be using A.I. for our next campaign, all because you couldn’t compromise.”

Me: “We are sorry to hear that.”

A few days later we receive an email from the same client, asking if we could just “touch up” some of their “in-house artwork” for a fraction of our usual fee. Some of the requests were to “remove extra fingers”, “hide all teeth”, and rather ominously “ensure all customers in view only have one head.” 

We rejected the job.

Client: “How much would you charge to photograph my apartment for [Rental Website/App]?”

Me: “£150.”

Client: “Would you do it for £120?”

Me: “Are we haggling?”

Client: “Um, yeah… I guess so.”

Me: “Okay, let’s start again.”

Client: “Pardon?”

Me: “Ask me again. I didn’t realize we were haggling.”

Client: “Okay… Um… how much would you charge to photograph my apartment for [Rental Website/App]?”

Me: “£300.”

Client: “We’re really pleased with how the social media campaign is going. People are really responding well to the images especially, and we know we have new customers as a direct result.”

Me: “Yes, it’s really gaining momentum, and it’s great that you can see the results. So, I take it you’d like to keep going?”

Client: “Oh, yes, we wouldn’t want to stop now. We’d like to do at least another six months. But we don’t want to pay you for it. After all, you’re only basically messing around on Facebook and Twitter; you can just slot our stuff in between your other clients.”

Related:
Why Didn’t You Do It Yourself, Then?

I am running through some requirements from a client we are designing a website for. We also host websites online for clients.

Client: “Oh! And we want our website to be on the cloud!”

Me: “Uh… by their nature all websites are, kinda on the cloud? I mean, they’re all always online.”

Client: “Yes but my boss told me to specifically tell you that he wants it on the cloud. All the modern stuff is on the cloud these days and he also told me to say he won’t be paying any extra for it.”

Me: “That’s… fine? I can assure you that any website we design and host for you will be… on the cloud.”

Client: “Oh! Good! We heard that the cloud is the place to be!” 

Me: “It sure is!”