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A collection of client horror stories from designers and freelancers on CFH.

Quake It Or Leave It, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | July 26, 2026

This story reminded me of an almost identical occurrence, except in person.

I’m having a face-to-face meeting with a client. The building starts to shake.

Client: “What the f*** is that!?”

Me: “That’s an earthquake, sir. The alarm will sound in a moment.”

Literally a second later, the evacuation alarm starts, ordering everyone to evacuate the building.

Client: “What do I do?!”

Me: “The evacuation muster point is the main square outside the building entrance.”

We both start walking to the door to the office. The client looks at me with a strange look.

Client: “Oh, you have to go too?”

This isn’t the Titanic, dude! It’s not clients and customers, first!

Related:
Quake It Or Leave It

The Final Sweep

, , , , | Working | July 24, 2026

As a janitor with over ten years of experience in varied locations, I’ve seen more entitlement and rudeness than I like. One of my longer jobs was two-plus years in a large mall, where my responsibility was a massive first-floor area, which included some assorted extra spaces. Hallways, stairways, an office, and crucially for this story, stores. Or, used to at one point.

See. Cleaning is a job where your customers are both businesses and private people. Just as my customers were the people buying things from the mall and then using the bathrooms, my customers were also the folks working at the office or the stores I cleaned.

And sadly, customers everywhere can be nasty.

I was told to add a toy store to my tasks, one dreary winter. A very basic and quick, half an hour tops gig. Use our floor cleaning machine to essentially Zamboni around their floor, where I could, and then use a mop for the rest. Clean their bathroom, kitchen, and dressing area. No dusting on shelves needed! Easy, right? No.

The manager was a sweetheart and very nice as she showed me around. She was not an issue. A small store with an even tinier backroom and, somehow, an EVEN tinier kitchen and dressing area. The mall I worked at was not built for anyone’s comfort, I assure you. Many stories can be told about just the doorframes.

This one clerk, however, was… Interesting.

I would be doing my job, trying to corral the ever-present avalanche of dust, while this woman, ten or so years my senior, would nitpick everything I did. She made the usual comments about working in cleaning before and how I was doing it all wrong. At that time, I had been a janitor (with actual vocational school-level papers and everything) for over eight years! I was not a spring chicken. It all culminated on the second day of my coming to clean. This woman decided it was completely polite and normal to demand my mop frame and mop, to show me how it’s done.

I had endured her pestering for the first thirty minutes clean earlier that week. I had now also endured another fifteen-plus-minute tirade of how I was doing my job wrong. All the while, customers were shopping around us, giving her looks. I felt exhausted and frustrated. It was as if this woman had no other job to do but follow the janitor around.

To this day, I am not at all sure what her deal was. Autism? Rudeness? Mean Girl energy? I have no idea. She spoke as if to a child, in a condescending manner I know all too well, and I saw red.

I gave her my mop frame. I watched her awkwardly mop around before finishing my tasks (with my mop frame put back on my cart by the clerk) and walking out. I told my manager in no uncertain terms that I was not going back. I would not be treated like a child at thirty-plus years old, with eight years of work experience and education behind me.

My manager took the job instead, doing it on the morning shift. Oddly enough, that cleaning task never got mentioned again. I assume the clerk was too cowed to tell a male manager how to do his job. I never found out, sadly. Funnily enough, I never saw the clerk work after a month or so. I was there for a year more afterwards, never seeing her again. I even bought some products from their store during a sale!

Good riddance.

It Wasn’t Even A Split Decision

, , , , | Right | July 13, 2026

I’m a web designer. A would-be client contacts me and asks if I’d be willing to “clean up” a website that he had another designer do, “which has since stopped working”.

I go to the URL he gives me and am greeted with a site that looks like it has been sliced EXACTLY in half. One half is a workable site. The other half is giant, colourful text reading “PAY HALF THE BILL, GET HALF THE PRODUCT”.

I refused the job.

We Have A Literary Surcharge

, , , , | Right | June 29, 2026

I work in construction. One of our crews was installing some insulation on piping when I got an angry call from our client.

Client: “What are you guys doing? They’re out here putting fiberglass insulation on the pipe!”

Me: “Yeah, that’s what we had talked about and planned for—”

Client: “I told you no fiberglass is allowed out here!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, I do not remember that at all. I thought we were planning on using fiberglass. It’s on the quote I sent you.”

Client: “WELL… YOU NEED TO ADJUST YOUR BUSINESS TO ACCOUNT FOR PEOPLE WHO DON’T READ THE QUOTES!”

An Eye-Conic Feature

, , , | Right | June 28, 2026

I’m a graphic designer. Many years ago (in the age before AI), I made a brochure for a client. The cover had a photo of a couple; she was sitting with a computer, looking and smiling at the camera. The guy was standing behind, looking at her, so his eyes seemed to be closed. 

When sent for approval, she emailed back with her comments. First one was:

Client: “Please open the guy’s eyes.”

I called her back and explained that it would look fake.

Me: “Also, we’d need to buy a second stock photo just to get a set of open eyes in high-res. It’s easier and cheaper to just pick a different photo from the same photo shoot.”

Client: “Oh, I happen to know that the software you use!”

Me: “Photosho—”

Client: “—It has a button that opens eyes. The open eyes button! The design studio we used to work with used it once.”

I was trying not to laugh.

Me: “Well, we don’t use it.”

Client: “You need to get yourself a software with an open eyes button! It’s how things are done these days!”

Now the “open eyes” button is famous where I work.