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A collection of client horror stories from designers and freelancers on CFH.

Clients Don’t Know The Meaning Of “Personal Time”

, , , | Right | May 8, 2022

I told my client I would be at my stepmother’s funeral for the day and would be completely unreachable by any form of communication until the next day. After the funeral, I found all of these messages from the client on my phone.

Client: *Via email* “I really need your help! I can’t open the file you sent me.”

Client: *Via text* “Did you get my email? I need you to resend me that file NOW!”

Client: *Via voicemail* “You are being completely unprofessional and ridiculous! I can’t believe you are ignoring my frantic pleas for help! You can bet your sorry a** that I’ll remember how unhelpful and unprofessional you are being.”

Client: *Via text* “[NOT MY NAME]! CALL ME NOW!”

Oh, We’ll Take It Down. We’ll Take It ALL Down.

, , | Right | May 7, 2022

Client: “Please upload a current copy of the video so I can review it.”

The next day…

Client: “Take the video down immediately! It’s incomplete!”

Me: “I know. You said you wanted to see the current cut. We still need to–”

Client: “The whole world can see it and it reflects badly on our company!”

Me: “It’s an unlisted video. No one can view it unless they have the direct link.”

Client: “I was able to view the video. Take it down!”

Me: “I sent you the direct link. You and I are the only ones who can see it unless you share the link.”

Client: “Take. It. Down.”

The client messaged me the next day asking where he could see the latest cut of the video. I fired him. 

Sounds Like They Just Didn’t Want To Pay For Your Work

, , | Right | May 6, 2022

I live in the UK. A while ago, while working as a copywriter, I wrote and proofed about sixty pages of web content. After chasing the client for sign-off on that stage of the project for a week, they turned around and said this:

Client: “The copy isn’t good enough. There are a number of spelling and grammatical errors.”

Me: “Can you be more specific?”

Client: “Well, here, ‘focused’ is spelled wrong: ‘focussed’.”

That was the only error they could find.

Client: “I’m sure there were more when I last looked.”

For the record, focused/focussed can be spelled both ways in the UK. And I’m still out quite a bit of money. 

Can’t Even “Start” At The Beginning

, , , , | Right | May 5, 2022

A client called having technical trouble accessing a file on his computer.

Me: “Okay, are you using Mac or PC?”

Client: “I’m not sure.”

Me: “Okay, does it say ‘Start’ in the bottom left corner of your screen?”

Client: “No.”

Me: “Is there a circle with a flag icon there?”

Client: “No.”

Me: “Is there an apple in the top left corner of the screen?”

Client: “No.”

Me: “Do you know if you’re using Linux?”

Client: “No.”

Me: “Okay, how do you access this document you want to publish?”

Client: “I click ‘Start’…”

The Cake Is A Dye

, , , , , | Right | May 4, 2022

I work in a bakery in which we can take images given to us by customers and transfer them into edible images that can be placed onto the cakes. One client wants a full sheet cake with a very large image of a group of people. 

Client: “When you said the color might change, what did you mean?”

Me: “Occasionally the images will appear darker when transferred onto the cake.”

Client: “Can you tell whoever is making it not to make the people in the picture look black or Mexican? We don’t want to devalue our white workers.”