I just sent a homepage design to one of my return clients in JPG format. Her feedback struck me as peculiar.

Client: “I can’t read the text; it’s too small. Can you make it bigger?”

Me: “You actually can’t read it? Or do you just think it should be bigger?”

Client: “I can’t read it.”

Me: “Are you viewing the design at its full 100% resolution?”

Client: “No. I am viewing it at 80%, and I even printed it out and measured it with a ruler. The text cannot be below half an inch in height.”

Me: *Baffled* “It is imperative that you view the website at its full 100% resolution before giving feedback on font size.”

Client: “I don’t understand why you can’t make such a simple change. We have never had this problem before.”

Me: “This isn’t about making the change. You need to view my designs properly before your feedback will be meaningful.”

Client: “I don’t care. Just make it bigger, or else we won’t be able to move forward with the project.”

I’m about to launch a website that I’ve been working on for a client for about three months. The design comps were finalized and approved about two weeks in, and every subsequent conversation I’ve had with the client included her telling me (at least once) how much she loved the design and how excited she was about it.

The day before launch, I’m talking to the client on the phone trying to get the last bits of content from her.

Client: “Oh, I had one question about the colors.”

Me: “Sure, what’s up?”

Client: “Well, those obviously aren’t the actual colors you’re using on the website, right? When will the real colors be in?”

Me: “Uh… you approved the design over two months ago.”

Client: “Right… but I’m talking about the colors.”

Me: “Color is a big part of what design is. So, those are the final colors.”

Client: “Oh, well, I hate those colors. Make everything blue.”

Client: “I tried as hard as I could, but I can’t access my domain.”

Me: “You know the URL, correct?”

Client: “Yes, and I keep typing in what you told me, but it won’t link me to my domain.”

Me: “Why don’t you tell me exactly what you typed?”

Client: “Sure. I typed ‘uuuuuu dot [site] dot kom’.”

Client: “Remind me to work on this stuff tomorrow.”

Tomorrow comes…

Me: “Hey, here’s your reminder. Let’s work on the stuff you mentioned yesterday.”

Client: “Who are you to tell me what to do?”

Me: “You told me to remind you.”

Client: “Don’t tell me my business.”

Logo designs were presented for a grassroots group dedicated to creating an alliance between local food producers and farmers.

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that the committee doesn’t find the logo designs inspiring. I wonder if you could give me some more guidance. All I have for feedback is that ‘they need more oomph.’”

Client: “Well, they’re just a little plain. Can’t you add a knife and fork? Or maybe a wheat sheaf? The group feels they need a little jazzing up. Anyway, we’re not really sure what we mean. But you’re the artist, so hopefully, this will help you refine it.”