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A collection of client horror stories from designers and freelancers on CFH.

We’re Dying To Know What The Final Product Looked Like

, , , | Right | February 23, 2022

Client: “We love the movie you’ve created for us, but it’s just not working for us.”

Me: “Okay, what would make it work?”

Client: “We want it to go viral! It needs dancing babies or unicorns!”

Leave Our Toes Out Of This

, , , | Right | February 22, 2022

Client: “I don’t want to use non-moving buttons on the website for navigation. Buttons are going the way of the dinosaur.”

Me: “What would you like me to use?”

Client: “A looping movie where the customer has to click on the fast-moving objects to navigate through the site. It will keep them on their toes.”

Me: “…”

The Piracy Starts Early

, , , | Right | February 21, 2022

Client: “What’s that paint software you are using at the moment?”

Me: “It’s called Photoshop CS4, and it’s more than just some paint software!”

Client: “Could you make me a copy of it for my six-year-old son to mess around on? He does like painting.”

Me: “Er… no, that’s piracy, and it’s licenced to me and my company.”

Client: “I’ll provide you with a disc.”

Me: ”…I really can’t  do that.”

Client: “Maybe I’ll reconsider your final fee!”

This Is Why Lawyers Write Contracts, Not Clients

, , , | Right | February 20, 2022

Client: “Sorry to cancel at the last minute, but we felt your contract was just… too legal.”

Me: “Well, I should hope so. What exactly was the problem?”

Client: “I mean it’s not very flexible. You ask for payment on such and such a date with this 5% monthly penalty if we don’t make it… It’s all just too legal.”

It’s “Magenta,” Not “MANgenta”

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2022

Client: “When this gets printed, what sort of colors get mixed together?“

Me: “Well, anything that gets printed is basically a combination of black, yellow, cyan, and magenta ink or toner…”

Client: “That’s unacceptable! I’m printing these for boys, not girls. Magenta is a girl’s color. Take the magenta out of your printers and replace it with red. Red is much manlier.“