Client: “Don’t bother with ShutterStock; grab pics off of Google Images.”

Me: “We don’t have the rights to them.”

Client: “We don’t need them. Everything on the Internet is in the public domain.”

This was a Communications Director within the Canadian Federal Government.

Related:
CopyWrong

Client: “I need the number for Jack. Can you give me his number, please?”

Me: “Jack? Jack who?”

Client: “The manual for the modem said that I need to connect to Jack, so if you could give me his number, then I can connect with him.”

Client: “We have six designers working for us at the moment and an intern. That makes it six and a half people.”

Me: “Your intern would love to hear that.”

Client: “We don’t like this girl’s smile on the brochure cover. Can you Photoshop another mouth onto her face from one of the other photos?”

Me: “Unfortunately, none of the other photos of her smiling are from the same angle.”

Client: “Well, then Photoshop her whole head out and use a head from the other photo where she is smiling.”

Me: “Can’t do it. The heads aren’t from the same angle as the body. It won’t look right.”

Client: “Sure, it will! People Photoshop heads and body parts all the time.”

As an in-house graphic designer, I worked with an interior designer on a design for an exhibition stand for our company at a big London furniture show. With dark wood panels and simple silver lettering, it looked great.

However, a salesman who liked to make his own Powerpoint presentations had talked them into letting him create an animated presentation that would be displayed on a loop on a big flatscreen in the middle of the stand.

I arrived at the exhibition to see the company name in Comic Sans, flashing in purple and yellow, and pictures of chairs flying around the screen.

I expressed my dismay to another member of staff who was also watching it. He said that he thought it was comparable with anything I’d ever done.