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A collection of client horror stories from designers and freelancers on CFH.

We’re Going To Need More Than Photoshop…

, , , , | Right | November 24, 2021

Me: “Here are the photographs from the shoot yesterday.”

Client: “Nice shots; I like this one from behind the man. Can you just flip the image so we can see his face and not the back of his head?”

Me: “You want me to turn him around in the photograph so you can see his face?”

Client: “Yes, and maybe we can make him black. Do you have Photoshop?”

My Work Will Be Metaphorical Until You Make Sense

, , , | Right | November 23, 2021

After giving a client his requested site design, he made it clear he wasn’t pleased.

Me: “But that’s what you asked for…”

Client: “Yeah, but I meant that figuratively.”

Me: “So you don’t want it to look like this?”

Client: “No, I do. Just think of the site design as a metaphor of a real website.”

Me: “…What?!”

Doing Nothing Is The New Black

, , , , | Right | November 23, 2021

Client: “The text is not black enough.”

Me: “It is set as ‘Black’ in the style sheet…”

Client: “Okay, but can you make it blacker than that black?”

Me: “Hold on, I’ll try something. Give me an hour.”

I go to lunch.

Me: “Okay, can you refresh your browser now?”

Client: “Yes, that’s better, thanks.”

Someone Doesn’t Understand The Definition Of “Unplanned”

, , , | Right | November 22, 2021

Client: “We would like to get notifications for unplanned outages 3-4 days in advance.”

Their Knowledge Is A Bit Floppy

, , , , | Right | November 22, 2021

Client: “I do have the logo on a Mac Disk, will that help?”

Me: “Please email the logo.”

Client: “The trouble is we don’t have any Macs, and our PCs don’t even accept floppies. How about I mail it to you?”

Me: “Are you saying the logo is on a 3.5″ floppy disk?!”

Client: “I’ll have to double-check.”

A few minutes of waiting. 

Client: “The floppy disk measures 3.5 inches, yes.”