Client: “Hi, I’d like you to design a website for me, but I need to borrow some money from you.”

Me: “Okay, but what for?“

Client: “I need to pay the money I owe to the last designer I hired.”

I once worked in an office where I built apps for large businesses. My boss was a frat boy and never seemed to have grown out of it, and a few of our clients were in his fraternity. As you might imagine, this led to a lot of bad behavior.

One client was the absolute worst — just a complete sexist pig — but I would suck it up because I was young and well-paid, so I didn’t want to mess things up. One day, that all changed.

Client: “Hey, [My Name], how’s it going?”

Me: “Fine.”

Client: “The app is looking great! I’d love to take you out sometime to thank you.”

Me: “That’s not necessary. Thanks, though.”

Client: “Come onnn! It’s just dinner! Plus, if you keep up the good work, I may have to steal you and hire you on for in-house work.”

Me: “Really, no, thank you. And I’m not looking to leave [Company] right now.”

I realized then I was thirsty, so I got up with my water bottle to go refill it. I brushed past the client, but one of his hands cupped my butt cheek. I immediately whipped around and punched him in the nose.

Client: “Ow! What the—”

Me: “You touched my a**, right in front of my coworkers and a camera! You’d better be ready to hear from my lawyer.

I didn’t have a lawyer yet, but I knew I would. Just then, my boss came out.

Boss: “[My Name], come here.”

I stormed into his office, naively hoping he would side with me.

Boss: “Why did you just punch [Client]?”

Me: “Because he grabbed my a**!”

Boss: “That’s not a good enough reason. He’s reported you have an attitude with him any time you two talk. Because of these repeated issues, I’m going to have to fire you immediately.”

Me: “You can’t be serious.”

Boss: “Look, you’re a beautiful woman. I would have grabbed your butt, too, if it were that close to me.”

Me: “You would what?!”

And that’s how I ended up suing both my ex-employer and the client, winning enough money from the settlements that I won’t owe a dime while I go to law school so I can help more women in my situation.

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I was engaged to consult at an executive retreat at a bougie resort on the other side of the country. I sent the contract, they signed, and I flew commercially while their group flew in on their company jet.

The retreat was fine and went as planned, and afterward, the group wanted to continue some of their work and asked me to keep helping out. I obliged as I had the availability. My contract stated the scope was for the retreat only and any additional work outside of that would be billed at my hourly rate. My mistake was in assuming the client read the contract they signed. Then, s*** hit the fan.

After we finished the continuation of the work, the client was shocked because they thought the extra work was included in the fee they had paid. The client called angry about the bill, but I had to outline that I couldn’t simply use my professional expertise to do work for them for weeks on end… for free!

Then, the client asked for my working files so their in-house team could continue the work without me. I said I was happy to hand the working files over, but it was an extra fee — as stated in my contract! Again, shock.

Client: “Well, I didn’t read the contract. Why isn’t it included?!”

Me: “Because it takes time, effort, and expertise to craft the files. It’s an asset, and you can’t just have it for nothing. You’re essentially cutting me out of future work, and the fee is compensating me for the work creating the file and future iterations on it, which you’re now taking over. So you can either pay the working file fee and have your in-house team do it, or you can keep paying me to make changes. Your pick.”

Client: “You’re gouging me! Your estimate for travel to the resort was really high and we felt you could have found cheaper flights and shuttles.”

Me: “You picked a destination on the other side of the country from me. It took three flights and twelve hours to get to. There was no airport shuttle or rideshare at the local muni airport, and the only available option was a limo. You didn’t include me in your group’s catered meals, so the per diem was higher because I had to eat separately from your group. When the only commercial flight in and out of the day was cancelled, I had to stay another day. I’m not gouging you… I’m charging you for the cost of staying at the place you picked and asked me to come to.”

I chose not to work with that client again.

After ten years of working for myself as a graphic designer and marketing consultant, I became disenchanted with having to chase after clients to collect my paycheck and sought a typical nine-to-five job. I interviewed for a position as a marketing manager with a company that I seemed like a great fit. During my interview, the CEO asked me what programs I use to “draw.”

Me: “Uh, I usually work in Illustrator, because vector graphics are scalable.”

Client: “Oh, that’s good. Not many people would understand that or know that.”

He offered me the position and I accepted.

A few weeks into the job, when discussing a project with the same CEO, he asked how I was going to prepare a specific piece of marketing collateral. It included the creation of new logos and would need to be sent to a printer in .eps format. I told him I was going to use Illustrator. He replied in a tone that was a unique cross of amusement, sneering condemnation, and anger.

Client: “No. People don’t know how to use Illustrator, and there isn’t anything you can do in Illustrator that you can’t do in Microsoft Word. Use that.”

I did a rough version of a customer’s print advertisement, with a unique spelling of “Extreme.” I’m not going to use it here, because it’s awful and doesn’t matter. Nevertheless, I double-checked and verified the spelling with the client over the phone. He was on a job and told me it was correct.

I sent him the proof and he called back.

Client: “Look, you didn’t use the spelling I want for ‘Extreme’.”

Me: “I just used what you told me over the phone.”

Client: “Well, I was on a ladder and I couldn’t remember how it was spelled.”