(I’m the dum-dum here. A customer comes up with a $15 purchase and pays with a $20 bill. I grab the anti-counterfeit pen and a $5 bill, check the $5, and hand back the $20.)

Customer: “So, it’s free?”

(I then realised what I had done, apologized, and gave the customer her correct change. At least the customer got a laugh out of it.)

(I am at a zoo with a friend of mine. There is a new dinosaur exhibit and we are in line. It is a free exhibit, but to enter, you have to wait in line and pass by an employee.)

Customer: *seriously* “So… There are real dinosaurs in there? Like, we get to see real dinosaurs?!”

Employee: *confused* “They are… like… animatronic…”

Customer: *doesn’t say anything but looks completely confused*

(I’ve been looking for the latest series of collectible LEGO blind-bag mini-figures for two months, but to my ire, they have been very hard to find. I stop at a retail store and head to the toy aisles, but first, I check out the action figures. As I then head towards the LEGO aisle, I can overhear an employee speaking to a supervisor over his phone.)

Employee: “Uh, yeah, can he buy the whole box?”

Child: “I want all of them, Mom! All of them!”

(My heart sinks, but I hurry over to the aisle. Sure enough, a son is with his parents and the employee with a cardboard display full of the latest mini-figure blind-bags. I’m shocked. I expect this kind of mass-purchasing from adult collectors of the line, but not from a kid who looks eight years old. I back away and watch as the scene plays out.)

Employee: *gets off the phone* “All right, sure, he says it’s okay.”

Kid: “YAY!”

(The mother then plops the display of mini-figures on top of her cart. Still stunned, I try to make humor of the situation by speaking to the mother.)

Me: “He must have a lot of money on him, huh?”

Mother: “Nah, he’s just spoiled.”

(I was stunned again by the comment as the family walked away. I asked another employee if they had any more in the back, but I was told that they did not. I didn’t manage to find the figures anywhere else that day, either.)

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(Most of the products in our bakery are dusted with flour. I am running the register when a customer walks up with a dusted loaf of bread.)

Customer: “I wanted to ask: what is this white powder on the bread?”

Me: “It’s just flour, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, then I can’t buy this, then.”

Me: “Why not?”

Customer: “I’m buying this for my daughter, and she can’t eat gluten. Don’t you know? Flour has gluten in it.”

Related:
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought Part 2
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought

This story is part of our Celiac Awareness Day roundup!

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(I work in a local retail store while in high school and college. A week before Halloween, I notice a regular customer riding in one of our electric carts, staring at the Halloween costumes and props. She is there for some time. I decide to ask if she needs help.)

Customer: “St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle—”

(As a Catholic, I recognize she is praying.)

Me: “Ma’am, can I help you?”

Customer: “Only if you can replace all this evil with Christmas stuff.”

Me: “Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner. One more week!”

(The customer then goes into a rant about what Halloween means to Wiccans and pagans. Then she gives a thorough lesson in Tartarus and other mythologies. She invites me to help her host a Bible study for her good Christian neighbors, which is her alternative to dressing up and “worshipping demons.” By this time, my manager thinks I’m just goofing around and is coming towards me to say something. The customer stands up, grabs my arm, and raises it into the air while using her other arm to throw costumes, props, and wigs out into the aisle. My manager seems to understand what is happening. After getting her to stop protesting, he turns to me.)

Manager: “Thank you for not telling her about the origins of gift-giving on Christmas.”

This story is part of our Devilish Halloween roundup!

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