(I work in a cafe where there’s a hot case that we fill with pieces of breaded, fried chicken, various flavored chicken wings, chicken tenders, and two fried sides. Today we have three flavored wings: two bone-in, and one boneless.)

Customer: “What flavor are those wings?”

Me: *pointing to the sign and reciting the flavors* “I have buffalo and garlic parmesan in the bone-in wings, and sweet red chili in the boneless.”

Customer: “Well, I like that chili one, but I don’t like boneless wings. Can you just make the bone ones in that flavor?”

(I offer to take an order, which will take about twenty minutes.)

Customer: “No, I ain’t waiting that long. Just put the bones in the red chili ones.”

(Sometimes customers want their favorite sauce put over one that we’ve already made, so I offer to do this.)

Customer: “No, just take the bones out of those buffalos and put them in the chilis!”

(Another person who knew this customer came over and suggested they try the garlic parmesan. Crisis averted.)

(I’m the dum-dum here. A customer comes up with a $15 purchase and pays with a $20 bill. I grab the anti-counterfeit pen and a $5 bill, check the $5, and hand back the $20.)

Customer: “So, it’s free?”

(I then realised what I had done, apologized, and gave the customer her correct change. At least the customer got a laugh out of it.)

(I am at a zoo with a friend of mine. There is a new dinosaur exhibit and we are in line. It is a free exhibit, but to enter, you have to wait in line and pass by an employee.)

Customer: *seriously* “So… There are real dinosaurs in there? Like, we get to see real dinosaurs?!”

Employee: *confused* “They are… like… animatronic…”

Customer: *doesn’t say anything but looks completely confused*

(I’ve been looking for the latest series of collectible LEGO blind-bag mini-figures for two months, but to my ire, they have been very hard to find. I stop at a retail store and head to the toy aisles, but first, I check out the action figures. As I then head towards the LEGO aisle, I can overhear an employee speaking to a supervisor over his phone.)

Employee: “Uh, yeah, can he buy the whole box?”

Child: “I want all of them, Mom! All of them!”

(My heart sinks, but I hurry over to the aisle. Sure enough, a son is with his parents and the employee with a cardboard display full of the latest mini-figure blind-bags. I’m shocked. I expect this kind of mass-purchasing from adult collectors of the line, but not from a kid who looks eight years old. I back away and watch as the scene plays out.)

Employee: *gets off the phone* “All right, sure, he says it’s okay.”

Kid: “YAY!”

(The mother then plops the display of mini-figures on top of her cart. Still stunned, I try to make humor of the situation by speaking to the mother.)

Me: “He must have a lot of money on him, huh?”

Mother: “Nah, he’s just spoiled.”

(I was stunned again by the comment as the family walked away. I asked another employee if they had any more in the back, but I was told that they did not. I didn’t manage to find the figures anywhere else that day, either.)

This story is part of our Lego roundup!

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(Most of the products in our bakery are dusted with flour. I am running the register when a customer walks up with a dusted loaf of bread.)

Customer: “I wanted to ask: what is this white powder on the bread?”

Me: “It’s just flour, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, then I can’t buy this, then.”

Me: “Why not?”

Customer: “I’m buying this for my daughter, and she can’t eat gluten. Don’t you know? Flour has gluten in it.”

Related:
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought Part 2
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought

This story is part of our Celiac Awareness Day roundup!

Read the next Celiac Awareness Day roundup story!

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