When I was at uni, I worked during the summers as a cleaner in my hometown, primarily at [Major Corporation]. [Major Corporation] had recently merged with [Massive Corporation], and as they streamlined production, some employees had moved between the corporations.

One of them was [Manager #1], who had moved to [Major Corporation], where the employees were dissatisfied with [Managers #2-#5]. During the spring, [Major Corporation] did a huge survey among the employees where they were asked to rank the performances of the managers on a scale from one (Awful) to five (Excellent). They then called the managers to a big event at the local castle and presented the results. It was a disaster.

[Managers #2-#5], who all spent their days doing as little as possible and mainly sat around complaining about others — [Manager #1], in particular — and who had all pocketed the money [Major Corporation] had set aside for activities with the employees, all received ones on all questions. In fact, many of the employees complained that they couldn’t score a zero.

As you can imagine, [Managers #2-#5] were fuming.

Then, the board presented the survey regarding [Manager #1], who was brought in to be the shining example. He spent his days doing tasks with his team, and after asking around what they wanted to do with the team-building money, he organized a bowling league. He also received exactly the same score on every question from all his team members: fives all around.

So, [Managers #2-#5] all HATED [Manager #1]’s guts.

One Friday, I was cleaning their office. [Manager #2] and [Manager #3] sat at their desks, complaining about [Manager #1] and how he always worked hard, helped others, and was a royal pain in the behind in general. The surveys were still where they’d been dumped on all five desks in the office, and I did my best to ignore them as I dusted and emptied the bins. Per usual, neither [Manager #2] nor [Manager #3] could be bothered to acknowledge me.

Every Friday, I had to carry out the cumbersome and very heavy coal-soaked rubber mat to shake off the coal gathered in the rubber spikes. I always ended up being covered in coal, so this was the last thing I did before heading straight home and throwing my work clothes in the washer. I had begun folding the mat when the door opened and [Manager #1] strolled in, wearing coveralls.

Manager #1: “Oh, you’ll be covered in coal if you drag that outside. I’ll do it instead; I’m already in coveralls, anyway. You could clean the floor properly in the meantime.”

I happily accepted his help, and as soon as the door closed behind him, [Manager #2] and [Manager #3] EXPLODED. They couldn’t believe how annoyingly helpful [Manager #1] was; now he was helping the cleaning lady do her work. The gall! Something was clearly off with him and his insistence on always helping people.

There was no point in arguing with them, so I just continued to clean. I had been there an hour and they still hadn’t acknowledged my presence anyway.

When [Manager #1] returned, he helped me replace the mat. Before I left, I smiled widely at him and said, as loudly as I could:

Me: “Oh, that was so kind of you! Thank you so much for your help, Dad!”

The look of horror on [Manager #2] and [Manager #3]’s faces as they realized that they had been bad-mouthing my dad in my presence for the last hour was a sight I will cherish to my last breath.

I work for a professional cleaning company. I get a call from a potential client:

Client: “I want you to steam clean my tile floor.”

Me: “Of course, ma’am! What’s your address?”

Client: “Why do you need that?”

Me: “So we know where we would need to go to clean your tiles.”

Customer: “Can’t you do it at your location?”

Me: “Well, no.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because your floors are attached to your house.”

There was a prolonged pause in which I like to think some dawning realization was made, followed by the hang-up click.

The dumbest thing I’ve ever heard at work actually came from my mouth. It was when I first started with the cleaning company I’m with now. A lot of times, if we approach a construction site soon enough, we can win the bid for the post-construction clean-up, which is a nice score.

I had a friend of mine who was in the sanitation business bringing me around the Manhattan area, and I’m a big guy, but the situations were just nuts. It was so loud, you had to yell, but you didn’t want them to think you were yelling at them, so you had to tread lightly. Construction workers are rough and short-tempered; if they think you’re yelling at them instead of just yelling over the noise, they go nuts.

I walked up with my friend to the General Contractor and he introduced me. The first words out of my mouth:

Me: “Hey, cool, so are you guys building up or…?”

They both looked at me like, “Or what?!”

In my defense, I had just read an article about earthscrapers — the opposite of skyscrapers — but nonetheless, when we got back in the car, my friend turned to me and said:

Friend: “Don’t you ever ask somebody if they’re building up again. You sound like an idiot.”

I learned my lesson that day.

Six years after I finish my BA degree, I start a new job as a Senior Investment Advisor at one of the largest financial institutions in Canada. Unlike my previous job, I get to have my own office which has my nameplate — also reflecting my position — on the door.

One day, I gave to stay a bit past office hours (9:00 to 5:00) to finish up some tasks. Just when I start getting ready to leave, the night shift janitors arrive to service our floor. Among the cleaning staff members, I recognize one of them as someone I went to university with. I do not approach her to say hi because: A) we just had one class together and we barely even spoke to each other, B) it has been a very long time since I last saw and heard of her, and C) she was a “mean girl” back then and enjoyed tearing people down.

I particularly remember [Cleaner] because, one time, the professor asked me an opinion-based question, which I answered. [Cleaner] disagreed with me and even said my answer was s***ty in front of the entire class. It did affect me, but not for very long because I eventually moved on and put the situation behind me.

Most people, like me, leave their office doors open. We have never had an incident where someone has reported something missing from their office. As I head out toward the elevator, I can see that [Cleaner] has reached my office to clear my garbage bins. I don’t think anything of it because it is part of her job to step into my office to do her work. When I am getting ready to pull out of the parking lot, one of the junior advisors calls me.

Me: “Hey!”

Junior Advisor: “Hi, [My Name]! I’m sorry for calling after hours. This might be a long shot, but are you still in the office?”

Me: “Well, I just got into my car at the building’s parking lot. But yes, technically, I’m still at work. What’s up?”

Junior Advisor: “I just noticed that my card case has been misplaced. I checked my bag and looked everywhere in my apartment, but it is nowhere to be found. If you can, would you mind terribly going back upstairs and checking my workstation and drawers? I would greatly appreciate it.”

Me: “Of course, that’s no problem. I am heading back up right now and will give you a call when I’m done.”

Junior Advisor: “Thank you so much! Lunch is on me next time whether you find my card case or not!”

Me: “No worries. Talk to you later.”

Junior Advisor: “Okay, bye!”

When I am back upstairs, I go straight to [Junior Advisor]’s desk. Unfortunately, I do not find the card case, but I decide to let one of the janitors know and ask them to hand it to the lobby’s security if someone from the cleaning team finds it.

As I make my way out, I notice that [Cleaner] is still in my office. From where I am standing, it looks like she is snooping around my desk. I manage to quietly sneak into my office and stand there for a good ten seconds. She opens one of my drawers, so at this point, I can confirm that she is snooping.

I wait for [Cleaner] to turn around and give her a “surprise”, but she is too focused and is taking her sweet time going through my stuff. I decided to break my silence.

Me: “Can I help you find anything?”

Cleaner: *Startled* “Oh, geez, you scared me! You’re too quiet. Oh, my God, [My Name], it’s you! I saw your name on the door but didn’t know that it was the [My Full Name] from uni. It’s so great to see you! Not sure if you remember me, but I’m [Cleaner’s Full Name]. We had a class together.”

Me: “Oh, hi, [Cleaner]. I can see that you have already done your job, which was clearing up my bins. Can I ask what else you were doing?”

Cleaner: *Nervously* “Oh, yeah, because I saw your name on the door… And I was looking to see if you have any cleaning supplies so I could wipe down your desk and disinfect your keyboard and monitors. You know, I want to go the extra mile with the service so I can get positive feedback.”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

I know she is lying. From what I’ve heard, the janitors are not supposed to be wiping up the staff’s desks and equipment. This is an add-on service that is not covered, and if someone from the building wishes to do this, they must submit a request form, and it must be approved by the property manager. The policy she is violating could lead her to dismissal.

Cleaner: “Look, I didn’t have to do this. I was simply being nice to an old friend.”

Me: *Firmly* “Right. Well, I’m going to ask you to stop. You already cleared the bins, and I don’t need you to do anything else.”

Cleaner: “Wow, okay. You don’t need to be so b****y about it. No good deed goes unpunished.”

I decided not to waste my time with her and just went home. I also called [Junior Advisor] to let him know I didn’t find his case card.

I don’t have any valuables in my office, so I wasn’t worried about stuff going missing. The next day, I told my boss about what had happened, and she agreed that [Cleaner] was only supposed to clear the bins. My boss emailed the property manager about the incident. They responded promptly.

Weeks passed, and my boss told me that the cleaning company addressed the situation by letting [Cleaner] go. Apparently, I was not the only one who had complained about her. Other tenants saw that she was taking office supplies from their units, and her own coworkers said that she would often help herself to anything in the fridges of the units her team was assigned to service.

I am a janitor at an elementary school. I have worked there for several years and am popular with that k-1st grade teachers. I have to move to a different shift so I can work another job, so I swap with another janitor that the 2nd-grade hallway teachers liked.

Apparently, this makes them mad, as they start filing complaints about my work so often that I am suddenly and regularly being called into the office. Each time I am asked to “explain myself” I can only say variations of the same thing:

Me: “I am doing my job, but they want their other guy back I guess. They’re even being rude to me to my face.”

After several months of this, I get called to the office again.

Supervisor: “One more incident and I’m going to write you up.”

Me: Calmly. “That’s okay, I’d like to put my two weeks in.”

Supervisor: *Shocked.* “Uh, don’t you need some time to think about this?”

Me: “I have. Their opinion of me isn’t going to change, and I rather save us some time.”

The look on his face was priceless. It was nice being able to quit like a calm reasonable person. I eventually went back to school (as a student this time!) and got a much better job I enjoy.