Please Recycle The Law

, , , , , , | Working | February 8, 2019

It was the mid-1990s and our law office was transitioning from research in books to computer research. With law books now available on CDs, we could free up our office library for useful office space. We went through a room full of books and decided which few books the attorneys wanted to keep and identified the remainder to be recycled. After ascertaining that there were no schools or anyone else who wanted them, we stacked them in a corner and asked the cleaning crew to remove them with the other paper recycling. We understood that it was a big job, which we didn’t expect them to accomplish in one night, but we thought if they would take even just a few books out with them each night, we would eventually have the office space free.

After the first night or two, a few books disappeared, but the rest of the large pile remained there day after day, in spite of the “recycle” tag that reminded the cleaning crew to remove them. After a couple of weeks had gone by and the large pile of books was still there, I added a second note alongside the “recycle” sign. It read, “Please remove these books or we’ll make you read them.” Every book was gone the next morning.

This Greek Cup Is Definitely Half Full

, , , | Right | January 22, 2019

(I run my own cleaning firm. My cleaner and I are in a client’s house performing his regular clean. The client is not present. My cleaner accidentally breaks a Greek souvenir espresso cup which holds a spoon. Our policy on breakage is that we will replace any items broken. We are also fully insured. I text my client explaining the situation, and I apologise and offer to replace the item. Meanwhile, my cleaner is panicking.)

Me: “Hi, [Client]. I’m afraid that [Cleaner] had a little accident with one your Greek souvenir cups. If you can look up a replacement for it, we will pay for it to be replaced. We apologise for the accident.”

Client: “It’s really not a problem.”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Client: “Yeah, I hate that thing!”

(My cleaner had never looked so relieved in her life! Bless her!)

She Cleaned You Out

, , , , | Right | December 11, 2018

I own a professional cleaning company, and I pride myself on my customer service and cleaning services.

An 84-year-old lady got in contact with me, wanting to start a domestic cleaning contract with us.

I went down to her home and provided her with a personalised quote based on her needs and the size of her home. At this point, I warned her that the first clean does take longer, and she agreed.  

We arrived early at the property, on a weekend, and before we started I once again reminded her that the first clean takes longer before settling down to the usual two hours a week. Again, she agreed.

So, we cracked on with the clean, and her home was immaculate when we were done. As predicted, the first clean took four hours to complete, and she had already left out two hours’ worth of payment. I left a note explaining that the clean took a total of four hours, as she had popped out.

I later had a phone call saying that the clean was excellent — much better than her previous cleaners — but she wasn’t going to pay because it was double what it should be. I reminded her on the phone that we had agreed several times that the first clean takes longer and that she had agreed. Her response was to complain that there were two of us there, which again is usual in my type of work, and we had informed her about it in advance.

Moral of the story: not all old ladies are sweet! Now I am out of pocket, as I have to pay wages and products for the four hours… Thanks, love.

Slow Down And Speak Up

, , , | Right | August 31, 2018

Me: *answering the phone as I always do* “Hello, this is [My Name] with [Cleaning Company]. How can I help you?”

Older British Woman: “SLOW DOWN, YOUNG LADY! You are speaking at the speed of light!”

(I slow my speech down half as fast as I typically speak on the phone with clients, and I give her every single bit of information she could possibly need to book our cleaning service for her home, and then some. At the end of the call, she decides not to book, and then says:)

Older British Woman: “Missy, what was your name again? That’s really the first thing you should tell people on the phone, you know.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.” *face-palm*

Clocked Out For The Last Time

| USA | Working | May 22, 2017

(I am the new hire in this story, and I am working as an evening cleaner with two other girls, who have been there longer than I have. These girls are very unhelpful and right off the bat don’t like me because I take my work seriously while they spend most of their time slacking off and sitting in the office or even skipping some of their tasks so they can sit in the office for two hours until it is time to leave. Being that this is a cleaning job and only the three of us are in the building at this time, they expect us to clean every room until it is time to go home, and with all the tasks it is almost impossible to finish within two hours. One night, about five minutes after our shift has started, I go to ask my coworkers if I can borrow their keys to the paper towel dispenser, I notice they are nowhere to be found and my coworker’s car isn’t in the parking lot. I text them to see what is going on and this exchange takes place:)

Me: “Is everything all right? I noticed your car wasn’t in the parking lot and [Coworker #2] is nowhere to be found, either.”

Coworker: “Yes, everything is all right! [Coworker #2] was very tired and didn’t feel like cleaning so I took her to [Coffee Chain]. We’ll be back in five minutes.”

(I know my boss isn’t going to be too happy with them if she finds out about them leaving. My boss has made it clear we are not allowed to leave while on duty since it is only a four hour shift and there is no need to take a break, but not wanting to get anyone in trouble, I decide I am not going to say anything. An hour goes by and I notice they are still not in the building and two hours later, when I finish all of my assigned areas and go to clock out, they are in the office, drinking their [Coffee Chain] drinks. When I grab my things, one of my coworkers speaks up.)

Coworker #2: “Where are you going, [My Name]?”

Me: “I am finished with my rooms and I am clocking out, as it’s the end of our shift.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, I didn’t realize it was time for us to leave! Did you clean our rooms as well?”

Me: “No, I didn’t. I had my own rooms to worry about. You should’ve thought of that before you clocked out, went to [Coffee Chain] for two hours, and sat in here for another hour.”

Coworker #2: “We didn’t clock out. [Boss] doesn’t care if we have to leave and don’t clock out but now we’re going to have to stay later because of your laziness! You should stay, too.”

Me: “That is not my problem. You two sat in here all night. I am not staying. I cleaned my assigned area and I am going home.”

Coworker #1: “Wait until [Boss] hears about this! We’re supposed to be a team!”

(Having enough of them constantly slacking off, I left, went home, and immediately sent an email to my boss explaining what happened. The next morning, she looked at the cameras and caught them leaving the building, not coming back for two hours, and sitting in the office for another hour, and also saw me cleaning my assigned areas like I was supposed to. It turned out my boss *did* care that my coworkers left the building without clocking out, because the next night, I went in to find out they were going to be let go!)

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