Unfiltered Story #122762

, , | Unfiltered | October 7, 2018

So, the local community church serves a free dinner on the last Friday of the month. My family goes to it. I was lucky enough to have off that evening from work, so I joined them. This legit happened:

Me-*leaving the church and entering the parking lot*

I see an elderly man walking up the parking lot.

Man-*mumbles something that I can’t make out because of the distance*

Me-“I’m sorry sir, what was it that you said?” (Mind you, I’m using my work voice which is very quiet and sweet)

Man-“Is. The. Free. Dinner. Still. Going. On? Were you able to understand me that time or do you need me to translate it in another language for you?!”

Me-“yes. The dinner is still going on for another 10 minutes. Right in those doors. And I’m sorry sir, I couldn’t quite make out what you were saying.”

Man-“I can translate it, you know. Make you understand better. I do know French”

Me-“um….okay? Enjoy your dinner”

Needless to say, I walked away feeling very confused about the whole thing. And also the attitude he had in his voice. As I walked away, I secretly hoped that the kitchen had closed and refused him service.

Some Background Would Have Been Nice

, , , , , | Working | September 21, 2018

(I work as a graphic designer for a church. The pastor does a sermon series every few weeks, and he wants new artwork themed for the series for the Sunday bulletin. We are between series, and the pastor has not told me what his next series will be, but he’s starting a new one soon. It’s nearing the end of the day on Friday, the last day for my work week, when this happens…)

Pastor: “Okay, I’m staring the new series this Sunday. The sermon title is ‘[Title],’ and the sermon series is going to be called ‘[Series].’” *snarky now* “But if you haven’t worked on the artwork for the sermon series, I guess you can just put a black background on the bulletin for worship.”

Me: *pause* “The sermon series you just now told me about? Yeah, I haven’t had time to work on that yet.”

Pastor: *sighs in annoyance* “Well… just work on it for next Sunday and use a black background this Sunday!”

I Am Me

, , , | Related | August 22, 2018

(My maternal grandmother and my mother look very much alike, to the point that they are sometimes mistaken for each other. One day, it leads to this gem.)

Woman From Church: *to my grandmother* “Hello, dear, and how is your mother?”

Grandmother: *realizing she’s been mistaken for my mother* “I am my mother!”

Usually It Means The Opposite

, , , , | Learning | July 23, 2018

(At church camp one year, I’m a small group leader for the fourth- and fifth-grade girls. We get paired up with the boys for crafts and games. One day, when we’re doing the craft, this happens. They’re making something with beads, and each color represents something.)

Craft Leader: *holds up white bead* “Who knows what white stands for?”

Kids: “Purity.”

Craft Leader: “Does anyone know what purity means?”

Boy: “Is that when your start to grow hair, and your body starts changing and stuff?”

(Cue every adult in the room trying not to laugh.)

Some People Get A Second Coming

, , , , , | Working | July 6, 2018

(There is church up the street from us. I see their sign, and can’t stop laughing.)

Sign: “Easter comes once a year; do you?”

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