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If God Created Us, He Created Our Ability To Create Medicine!

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 6, 2022

I’m in college on summer break. I’ve been experiencing occasional stomach pain and cramps for no known reason. I also have thyroid disease, and my doctor has recently changed my meds.

This all comes to a head one Sunday at church with my mom. I’m already not feeling great because of my new thyroid meds, and during the sermon, my stomach starts cramping again. My mom helps me out to the lobby and asks if I can walk to the car. I can’t, so she sits me on a bench and goes to pull the car around.

An acquaintance has followed us out.

Acquaintance: “Are you okay?”

I open my mouth to respond, but another cramp hits me, so all that comes out is a groan.

Acquaintance: “Guess that’s a no. Did you eat something bad?”

Me: “No idea. I already wasn’t feeling well because of my new thyroid medicine, and now this.”

Acquaintance: “You know, being on those pills shows a lack of faith.”

Me: “Excuse me?!”

Acquaintance: “You should stop your medicine. Have faith that you’ll be healed.”

Me: “I’m not stopping my medicine.”

Acquaintance: “Then you don’t have faith.”

I open my mouth to respond, but I hear the senior pastor’s wife’s voice behind me.

Pastor’s Wife: “I’m on thyroid medicine, too. Does that mean I don’t have faith, [Acquaintance]?”

Acquaintance: “Um…”

Pastor’s Wife: “I’d go back to the service if I were you.”

The acquaintance bolts back into the sanctuary. The senior pastor’s wife sits next to me.

Me: “Th-thank you.”

Pastor’s Wife: “No problem. Adjusting to a new thyroid medicine dose is hard. Looks like your mom brought the car around. Let’s get you home to rest.”

She helped me out to the car, as I was now doubled over in pain. The pain went away, but it came back a few days later. I ended up in the Emergency Room, where it was discovered that I had gallstones. I had surgery soon after.

While I was in a recovery room, a balloon, flowers, and a small gift basket were delivered. The senders? My church’s senior pastor, his wife, and the other pastors on staff.

Pretty Sure Lying Is The Opposite Of That

, , , , , , , | Working | November 4, 2022

My husband and I had a hard year a while back. We lost our house in a flood and then had a car wreck ten days later. The wreck almost killed my husband. He had multiple surgeries and blood transfusions and stayed in a hospital for months.

When my husband finally got out of the hospital and got his wound vac taken off, he was able to drive again as long as his arm was wrapped up.

The new car we had purchased ended up with a broken window after a few months, so we went to the dealership to try and price the window replacement.

A car salesman saw my husband’s arm wrapped up and asked us our story. Once he heard everything, he offered my husband a deal: come to his church that Sunday with him and he would pay for the window replacement. My husband tried to say no. but the man insisted. claiming he was doing God’s work.

That Sunday, we got our baby ready and headed to the church. When the man saw us, he wasn’t happy. He spoke with my husband and wrote down some stuff on a slip of paper.

He told us to bring the car to the dealership the next Tuesday and he would make sure our car would be fixed. That Tuesday, we did as he said and took the car to the dealership.

Once we got there, the dealership informed us that the man had quit just the day before. They didn’t know why and they couldn’t help us.

So much for doing the Lord’s work, I guess.

We Must Confess, This Kid Sounds Like A Terror

, , , , , , | Related | October 23, 2022

In the Catholic church, before a child can receive the first communion, they are expected to take part in the “Sacrament of Penance”, aka confession. My sister, being a precocious and bookish child, naturally did her homework first, and when she arrived at the confessional she was ready.

Sister: “Bless me, oh, father, for I have sinned. I have committed adultery, coveted my neighbor’s ox, taken the Lord’s name in vain, and—”

She heard an angry voice from the other side of the confessional screen.

Voice: “What? Whose child are you?”

Sister: “Oh, I’m [Other Girl in her catechism class]”

She never, ever confessed to the lie, even though the blameless accused was spanked for disrespecting the confessional. The eighth circle of Hell is the one that is reserved for liars and frauds.

The Devil’s In The Details

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: speddie23 | October 4, 2022

Back at a fairly new MSP (Managed Service Provider — basically IT) that I used to work for, we had a client who was a church. This church was a really good client; they were always reasonable with expectations, always paid their bill on time, and were overall pleasant to deal with.

We did some work for them and sent them an invoice. Later on, we got a call from them.

Me: “[MSP]; this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Church Employee: “I want to talk about the invoice for [service].”

I let the owner of the MSP take the call.

Owner: “Hi. What’s the issue with your invoice?”

The owner assumed they thought they’d been overcharged, double-billed, or something like that.

Church Employee: “The problem is the number on the invoice. It’s invoice #666. We’re not comfortable paying an invoice with that number. Could you cancel this invoice and reissue a new one for the same amount?”

We did that, and they paid it straight away. They stayed a client for as long as I was with that MSP.

This Is A Sign That You Need A New Strategy

, , , , , | Working | September 13, 2022

I used to work at a regional fast food restaurant at the intersection of a very busy road and a side street with a church that couldn’t be seen from the busy road.

The church started to put up signs on our restaurant’s lot to try to direct people to them. When they did, the manager would have someone run out and throw the sign away. A few days later, the church would put up another sign advertising themselves, and again, the manager would have it taken down.

This happened a few more times, with the church’s signs getting bigger, until one day when we got a call.

Manager: “Hello, this is [Restaurant], [Manager] speaking.”

Pause.

Manager: “Oh, those signs? I threw them away.”

Pause.

Manager: “No. that belongs to [Restaurant]; it’s not public property.”

Pause.

Manager: “No, I talked with the owner. He did not give permission for those signs to be there. He told us to get rid of them if they appear.”

Pause.

Manager: “That’s your problem. You’ll have to find another way to attract people because the owner does not want any religious advertising on the property, and he does not want anyone to put signs there without going through him first.”

After that, the place no longer had any issues with unwanted signage.