Adorably Terrible

, , , | Related | April 6, 2018

(My brother and I both volunteer at our church. I work with the young children on Wednesday nights and he works with the older youth. Some of the children and youth are also involved in the church’s drama ministry. One Wednesday evening in December, the drama kids put on a Christmas skit they’ve been rehearsing. It’s sort of like a dress rehearsal, but with a practice audience. When I arrive with my class, I see my brother and go say hi to him.)

Me: “You ready for this?”

Brother: *totally serious* “Yeah, I’m ready to make fun of this.”

Me: “Don’t make fun of it!”

Brother: “But it’s going to be terrible.”

Me: “[Brother], it’s little kids. The word you are looking for is, ‘adorable.’”

Brother: “It’s little kids; it’s going to be terrible.”

Me: “Don’t be mean. It’s going to be adorable.”

(The skit is on par with an elementary school play, but it only lasts about 30 minutes. After the skit, as I’m lining my class up to go back to our room, we pass my brother.)

Brother: “Yeah, I couldn’t make fun of that.”

The Mother, The Son, The Holy Spirit

, , , | Related | April 1, 2018

(We’re having our first son baptized. It’s also the first time that my family meets my husband’s cousins. One of them comes to greet my parents.)

Mom: “Hi, I’m [My Name]’s mother.”

Cousin: “Hi, I’m… my dad’s son…”

(After some awkward laughs I lean in to my husband.)

Me: “[Cousin] is a genius.”

I Want To Break Free From This Group

, , , | Friendly | March 22, 2018

(In high school, I really want my non-church-going friends to attend my youth group. I finally get them to come to a lock-in. One of the adult sponsors is the DJ.)

My Friend: “Hey, could you play something by Queen?”

DJ: “I don’t play [gay slur] music.”

(My friends never came to youth group again.)

Vending Some Hope For Humanity

, , , , , , | Hopeless | March 16, 2018

The week before Christmas, my brother-in-law and his family stayed with us for a few days. They wanted to meet up with his grandmother while they were here, so we tried to think of a warm place to sit and visit with her. We decided on the lobby of one of the buildings on Temple Square, since it was near Grandma’s apartment. We also wanted to visit the Light the World vending machines in that lobby. These were five charitable vending machines that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints had temporarily placed that allowed the user to choose specific donations to some organizations.

When we arrived at the lobby, we found that a local high school madrigal group was performing Christmas carols. We very much enjoyed visiting quietly on the ground floor while the choir sang in the mezzanine above. As we neared the time we had to leave for other appointments, my nieces and nephew were steered toward the vending machines to choose their gifts for the charity.

One niece chose 100 meals for the food bank. The other chose a pair of glasses for the eye-care group. As my four-year-old nephew was trying to choose his gift (he eventually chose to help the water charities), I realized the choir had stopped singing. I looked around to find that most of those teenagers had joined us at the vending machines, even having to stand in line to reach them. They had just finished their third of five concerts in various buildings on Temple Square that same day, and instead of resting or visiting the small cafe in that same lobby, they had come to spend their money on other people. No one forced them. No one was watching to make sure the money wasn’t used elsewhere. They chose to do it.

Makes you think there’s hope for the future, after all.

A Sign From The Lord

, , , | Right | March 1, 2018

(My chorale meets once a week at a church on Wednesday nights, and since we share the building with various other organizations, chorale members have a specific code to get in. The following ensues the first time we try to use our new codes.)

Chorale Lady: *punches code* “Huh?”

Me: “Oh, you can’t—”

Chorale Lady: *ignoring me, punches code again* “They said this was the code… It’s supposed to be [code], right?” *punches it again without waiting for an answer*

Me: “Um, ma’am…”

Chorale Lady: *punches random buttons* “Ugh, this is SOOOOO frustrating!”

Me: *feeling amused and a bit annoyed, points to big 8.5×11″ sign above the keypad* “This might be why. ‘Codes are not working this week; please use intercom.’”

Chorale Lady: *blinks for a minute, then waves dismissively* “Oh, I never read signs if I don’t have to.”

Me: *face-palm*

Page 1/2712345...Last
Next »