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Some Customers Would Wish Murder For Five Bucks

, , , | Right | October 7, 2019

(I work in a call centre in Christchurch. This conversation takes place a few months after we had our earthquake.)

Me: “Welcome to [Company]. How can I help today?”

Customer: “I have just been sent a reminder letter and you have charged me $5. I want you to reverse that.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our letters are automatically sent out if you do not pay your bill by the due date. I cannot reverse that fee for you if you have not paid your bill.”

Customer: “I demand to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I am not going to get my manager for you, because the answer from them will be the same. If you read your terms and conditions, this is one of them. We charge fees if you do not pay your bill by the due date.”

Customer: “I hope you get another earthquake.”

Me: “Excuse me? You do realise that people actually died in the earthquake and a lot of people have lost their homes. That is a terrible thing to say.”

Customer: “I hope you get a tsunami as well and lots of people die.”

Me: “I will no longer be continuing this conversation. I am horrified that you would even say this.”

(I hung up after that and sat at my desk for a little bit. I was shaking because I was so angry. I have never heard anyone say something so terrible before.)

Take A Stab At Spelling It

, , , , | Right | October 1, 2019

(I work in a call centre who sells electricity to customers across New Zealand.)

Me: “Welcome to [My Company]. You’re speaking with [My Name].”

Customer: “Hi. I’d just like to know my account balance, please.”

Me: “Sure. I just need your customer number, please.”

Customer: “I don’t have it.”

Me: “That’s fine. I’ll just search for the account through your name. May I please have your surname?”

(The customer provides a surname which is either Maori or Samoan, so I don’t understand it and ask her to repeat it. The customer does and I am still unsure.)

Me: “Would you mind spelling that for me, please?”

Customer: “Why, are you thick?”

Me: “Would you mind confirming for me the address of your property?”

Customer: “Why are you being so cheeky?”

Me:  “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I have already given you my name; you don’t need any more information.”

Me: “I was unable to locate your account, so I was after your address to locate it that way, please.”

Customer: “Where are you?”

Me: “Do you mean our call centre?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Our call centre is located in Christchurch.”

Customer: “I’m going to come down there, I’m going to find you, and I’m going to slice your face off.”

Me: “I am ending this call now.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because you just threatened me. Goodbye.”

(I hung up on customer, who promptly called back and spoke to my colleague. She then told my colleague that she was going to hunt me down and kill me. My colleague advised she was hanging up on her and the customer said that she was going to kill my colleague, too.)

You Want Chicken That Is Number-Crunchy

, , , , | Right | November 15, 2017

(I work at a fast food chain which is known for its fried chicken. I’m working the till at the front counter when a middle-aged woman walks into the store.)

Me: “Hi there, ma’am! How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi, I was just wondering how many chicken wings I would get if I bought a 20 pack?”

Me: “Uh… 20, ma’am.”

Customer: “Okay, cool. Also, do you have any specials on chicken today?”

Me: “Yup, we sure do! We are currently selling five pieces of chicken for $9.90.”

Customer: “Okay, and how many pieces of chicken would I get in that?”

Me: *just stands there bewildered*

Well That’s Just Gravy

, , , , , | Working | June 26, 2017

(I work at a well-known fast food joint which specializes in fried chicken. We sell potato and gravy as a side to go with our popular bucket meals. On this particular day I arrive half-an-hour early for my shift, so I go and sit down and wait until it’s time to clock in. While I’m waiting I notice a customer, leaving the store with his young daughter, drop a tub of potato and gravy on the ground. The girl’s father panics and immediately goes and summons my manager.)

Customer: “I’m so sorry! My daughter has spilt potato and gravy everywhere.”

Manager: *cheerful and smiling* “That’s okay; don’t worry about it. It’s not a problem, really.”

Customer: “Thank you so much. Once again, I’m really sorry.”

(The customer then proceeds to exit the store with his young daughter. I then notice my manager making his way back to the office without even bothering to clean up the mess left behind by the customer’s daughter. As soon as I clock in, I go to clean up the mess, which has since been walked on by multiple customers over the half-an-hour period it had been left sitting there, getting smeared everywhere.)

Me: *sighs*

A Catalog Of Errors, Part 3

, , | Right | February 9, 2016

(A customer comes in with an old catalogue and discovers the item he wants is no longer that price.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, that catalogue ended three-days ago. See the start and end dates on the front?

Customer: “I don’t give a f*** about where you’ve got dates. The price is in writing so you have to honour it! I know my rights!”

A Catalog Of Errors, Part 2
A Catalog Of Errors