(I am an American living in China, teaching young kids aged three to twelve. We have two main categories. The first one is based on age. If you’re three, you go to a specific level, same for four or five. The second category is based on skill, and you’re given a proficiency exam to go into it, or a kid ages into it by completing the first category. This takes place in my lowest level of the second category.)

Me: “Okay, guys. We’re going to learn, ‘What’s up?’ It’s like saying, ‘How are you?’ but more fun. Okay, [Student #1], what’s up?”

Student #1: “I’m okay.”

Me: “Good start.”

(I turn to the next student. He tends to learn things a bit slower than the others, so I expect the exact same response.)

Me: “[Student #2], what’s up?”

Student #2: “Birds.”

(I crack up. I have no idea how he knows this.)

Me: “Great, [Student #2].”

(I keep practicing this for several weeks, and each week [Student #2] always says, “Birds,” probably because I always laugh and he likes the positive attention. Finally, I tell him, “No more birds.”)

Me: “Okay, [Student #2], no more birds. What’s up?”

Student #2: *pauses* “Birds and beer!”

(I’ve had quite a few hilarious instances with the kids in China, and their amazing way with playing with the language, but I have no idea where he picked that up from! To this day, it’s one of my highlights of teaching in China.)

I teach English in China to kids age three to twelve. I love my older kids, because I get beautiful gems, especially when they are clever and play with the language.

I am correcting some homework when I came across this gem.

The prompt is to write a letter to a friend or family member. Ask questions in the letter. Thank the person for reading and answering your letter.

The student wrote:

“Dear Dad.
How are you?
Do you like sing?
Why are drink lot of liquor?
Thank you to read my letter
Your daughter
Disy.”

I had a lot of fun correcting that letter.

(I am about eight years old when my family and I relocate to China for a year. Despite my Chinese heritage, I was born and raised elsewhere, so English is my first language, whereas I tend to struggle with Chinese. In that year, I fall sick enough to warrant a week-long stay at the nearest hospital. My mother and my grandmother accompany me in the daytime to take care of me as well as talk to the nurses and doctors on my behalf. When I’m alone, however, my sole form of entertainment is the TV in the room, which I leave on the only English-speaking channel they have. None of us think much about it until my mom comes in one morning and happens upon two nurses conversing outside my room.)

Nurse #1: “That little girl, she doesn’t talk much when I ask her questions, but she is so focused when it comes to [English channel] on TV. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s all she’s been watching since she got here!”

Nurse #2: “Wow! She’s that dedicated to learning English and keeping up with school, even though she’s this sick? What a studious girl!”

(And that’s how I inadvertently impressed a couple of nurses by lazing around in bed all day watching the telly.)

(My classmates in China come from different countries all over the world. Although I’m Mexican, due to my complexion and my eyes and skin colour I get mistaken for Indian, Arabian, or Persian. A lot. This conversation happens with an Indian guy.)

Classmate: “You look like an Indian.”

Me: “Yeah… I get that a lot. But I’m as Mexican as you can get.”

Classmate: “But your parents are from India, right?”

Me: “Nope. We are all Mexican.”

Classmate: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, [Classmate], I’m sure where my family is from.”

(My brother and I are around 20 years old, and we go on a holiday in China together. Due to our parents’ concern about our lack of language skills, we book a guided tour, but on our very first evening in Beijing, we have time to explore the city by ourselves. We take a tram to the city center and have a nice evening, and everything goes well until we get back to the station near our hotel. Then, we get lost. Keep in mind that it is already around 10:30 pm when this all happens. The station is quite large and has several exits on different streets, and even though we have a map, we can’t figure out in which direction our hotel is. Luckily, we spot a police station on the other side of the street and go there to ask for directions.)

Me: “Excuse me, we got lost. This—” *points on map* “—is our hotel. Which direction is it?”

(The two policemen shrug and answer something in Chinese. I figure they don’t speak English, so I try to explain our problem through gestures and with some more pointing. They study the map for some time, talk among themselves and ask us some things, to which I always have to answer, “Sorry, I don’t understand.” This goes on for some minutes, and then one of the policemen goes outside. The other one shows us to some seats and offers us cookies. Then, the policeman outside starts shouting something. At least twenty passers-by from the — not very crowded — street start gathering around him and he leads them inside. A young man starts talking to me in English.)

Young Man #1: “Hey! How can we help you?”

Me: “Hi! We need to get to our hotel, but we got lost!”

Young Man #1: “Which hotel is it? Do you have an address?”

Me: *taking out the map again* “It’s right here—” *points* “—and this is the tram station out there—” *points* “—but we can’t read the street signs and don’t know which direction it is.”

(The young man starts talking to the group in Chinese again. Some people leave.)

Young Man #2: “Don’t worry; we’ll figure this out. We’re trying to find the best solution to get you to your hotel.”

(After some more minutes:)

Young Man #1: “So, this guy—” *he points at an elderly Chinese man with a hat* “—knows the way, but it’s a bit complicated from here. We don’t want you to get lost again, so he’ll walk you there. He can’t speak English; just follow him. Have a good time in China!”

(With that, the rest of the crowd dissipated, everyone smiling and waving at us, except for the man with the hat. He gestured at us to follow him, which we did. What followed was an at least fifteen-minute walk through Beijing, until we could see our hotel at the next crossroads. The man pointed at it and waved at us. We waved, too, took some bows, and thanked him in English. He smiled and started leaving. To this day, I am still amazed by how many people went out of their way to help some lost tourists and the kindness they showed us. Now, whenever I travel abroad, I make sure to at least be able to say “thank you” in the respective country’s language.)