At Least His Answer Is In The Right Aria

, , , , , , , , | Learning Right | October 14, 2010

(I am giving a tour of the opera house to a group of fifth-graders. We are backstage and we pass a large service elevator, generally used to transport grand pianos, costume racks, etc.)

Me: “So, guys, who can think of a reason why the opera needs such a big elevator?”

*silence*

Kid In The Back: “Because there are REALLY BIG PEOPLE in operas!”

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Ah, Mothers, Part 6

, , , , , | Learning Right | September 24, 2010

(The child I’m working with is crying, so I go outside to talk to the mother.)

Me: “Your child seems to have some separation anxiety, ma’am. It’s against the rules, but I could let you stay and watch her work so she’ll feel better.”

Mother: “Oh, I think she’ll be fine after a while. See, she’s been upset since we moved here from Chicago.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s difficult for a child sometimes.”

Mother: “But don’t tell her we moved, okay? We told her we were only going on a vacation. She has no idea we’re not going back.”

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Not Exactly Gifted, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | September 16, 2010

(A twelve-year-old boy, comes up to the counter, holding a gift card.)

Customer: “How much is this?”

Me: “As much or as little as you want on it.”

Customer: “But what does it do?”

Me: “You give it to people as gifts. It has money on it.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “Like I said, as much or as little as you want.”

Customer: “Can I get $10?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I ring up the gift card.)

Me: “That’ll be $10.”

(He hands me $1.35.)

Me: “This isn’t enough. I need $10.”

Customer: “I only have that.”

Me: “Then you can’t get the gift card.”

Customer: “But, you said I could do any amount!”

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(Not One Of) History’s Mysteries

, , , , , , | Right | September 14, 2010

(I am helping a little boy find a children’s book on Native American history for a book report.)

Me: “I think this one will come in handy. It’s all about the different Native American tribes and traditions. It even includes a large map showing where the Native American tribes lived.”

Little Boy: “Thank you!”

(He walks away with his book and an adult customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Why did you do that?”

Me: “Do what?”

Customer: “Tell him those are real.”

Me: “Native Americans?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Because they are real.”

Customer: “No! They only exist in movies with cowboys!”

Me: “I can assure you that Native Americans exist.”

Customer: *mocking* “I suppose you believe cowboys really existed, too?”


This story is part of our Native-American roundup.

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

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From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 3

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2010

(A six-year-old girl comes up to me very anxiously while waiting in line to get food.)

Girl: “Ma’am, what’s this?”

Me: “What’s what?”

Girl: “This!” *I notice she’s holding her crotch*

Me: “You mean your skirt?”

Girl: “No, the thing under it!”

Me: “I… I… I don’t know. Ask your mom.”

Girl: “Ugh! I already did, and she doesn’t know either!”

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