For Some, Working With Kids Is Snow Problem

, , , , , , | Right | March 22, 2021

My five-year-old is extremely social and has a memory like a steel trap; unfortunately, he does not always realize that other people might not share these same characteristics. We are at an indoor play park that we visit whenever we go see my in-laws.

Son: “Do you remember me?”

Worker: “Sorry?”

Son: “I’m [Son]; I came in over the summer! I played for four hours!”

The worker is struggling for words.

Son: “I love it here! You have so many cool slides and snow drinks!”

Worker: *Playing along* “Oh, of course, I remember you! The boy who loves slides and snow drinks!”

I think nothing of it, the kid plays for several hours, and I get LOTS of reading done for my grad classes. A few hours later, we’re leaving, and the same employee is watching the door.

Worker: “See you next time, [Son]! Hope you liked your snow drink!”

The look on my son’s face was pure magic.

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for March 2021!

Read the next Feel Good roundup for March 2021 story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for March 2021!

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Now We Have To Know, Too!

, , , , | Right | March 22, 2021

I’m at a ski resort in line for a lift. In front of me is an instructor with two small children. She seems to be playing a guessing game with them to pass the time on the ride up.

Kid #1: “Is it a bear?”

Instructor: “Nope.”

Kid #2: “Is it a beaver?”

Instructor: “No.”

Kid #1: “Is it a fox?”

Instructor: “Nope.”

Kid #2: “Is it a wolf?”

Instructor: “No. You’re gonna be at this all day if you just guess like this. I’ll give you a hint. If you can figure out what it eats, you’ll probably get it right away.”

Kid #1: “Does it eat berries?”

Instructor: “No.”

Kid #2: “Does it eat leaves?”

Instructor: “Nope.”

Kid #1: “Does it eat apples?”

Instructor: “No. It’s not a plant; it’s kind of like a protein.”

Kid #1: “Does it eat oatmeal?”

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to hear how this played out.

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The Cake Is A Bye

, , | Right | March 17, 2021

I work in a bakery. A mother and her two young sons come in to pick out cake. They take their time, but it is slow, so we joke around while the boys look around. They eventually make a choice, pay, and start walking out.

Me: “Enjoy the cake, bye!”

Oldest Son: “Thank you, goodbye!”

Youngest Son: “Bye! I never want to see you again!”

Me: “But I’m the one who sells cake!”

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These People Don’t Rock At Being Parents

, , , , , | Friendly | March 12, 2021

I am hiking up the back-and-forth part of the Bright Angel Trail in the Grand Canyon with my husband when something lands beside me. I don’t see it, but I hear it. Then another, then a third. Then, my husband grabs me and pulls me to the rock wall just as a stone comes flying over from above and lands almost right where I was standing. We look up and see two small heads poking over the edge.

My husband yells up to them.

Husband: “Hey! Stop throwing stuff!”

Voice Above: “Okay!”

It stops for a while, and then another stone comes down, landing just a few feet in front of us. Again, two small heads are looking down at us.

Husband: “Stop!”

Voice Above: “Okay!”

We reach the top and find two children — maybe seven at the oldest — tossing small rocks over the edge, and not like they are trying to get them out into the Canyon, more like spiking a volleyball. There are two adults with them but they are busy taking photos of the Canyon and each other.

Husband: “Are you the ones throwing rocks down there?”

Child #1: “No.”

Child #2: “Watch!”

He picks up a stone about the size of a mandarin orange and whips it down to the trail below.

Me: *Gently* “You could hurt someone doing that.”

Child #1: “Mommy! Help!”

The mother looks up, alarmed. My husband and I are still further from the kids than the parents.

Mother: “What the f***?!”

She pulls her children behind her. The father steps up.

Me: “Your kids are throwing rocks at hikers.”

Mother: “They’re just having fun.”

Father: “They’re fine.”

Husband: “They’re going to kill someone.”

Father: *Scoffs* “Nobody gets killed with rocks.”

Me: “That is—”

Husband: “Look, we almost got hit several times. It’s dangerous.”

Father: “P***y.”

We walked on without another word to the family. We did notify a park staff member in the welcome center, but I don’t know if anything ever happened after.

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I Never Know What Children Are Saying, Either

, , , | Related | March 11, 2021

I’m at a playdate with several friends and their six- and seven-year-old girls. 

[Friend]’s daughter just got a birthday gift from one of the other girls. She comes running in and starts excitedly asking something like:

Friend’s Daughter: “New doll… Opening it… Accessories… Show you… Accessories… So cool… So, can I?”

Friend: “Um… I’m not sure what you’re asking, but the answer is no.”

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