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A Little Slice Of Doing The Right Thing

, , , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: MelonGodVEVO | November 23, 2022

I work for a pizza place. I’ve been delivering for about three weeks now, and tips are either really bad or pretty good.

I go to the door for a delivery and a kid answers; his mom is in the back. I hand him the order: a personal pizza.

Me: “Hi. Your total is [total].”

I’m pretty sure he is just happy to pay for something because, without hesitation, he hands me a $100 bill, claps, and runs to his mom to tell her he paid.

I don’t notice it is a hundred and think it is ten, so I walk back to my car. Then, I see that the bill he gave me has that blue line and gold 100 on it. I get really happy, but I realize that I’d feel guilty if I left.

I go back and knock on the door. The mom answers and looks really confused. I show her the bill.

Me: “Your little boy gave me this.”

Mom: “[Boy], come here, please.” *To the boy* “Where did you get this?”

Boy: “I got it from your purse!”

Mom: *To me* “I’m so glad you brought this back; it was supposed to be for our groceries this week.”

In the end, I got a $3 tip, but I didn’t mind since I’d just saved a family from going hungry for a couple of days.

Don’t Just Let Them Wing It

, , , , , | Right | November 22, 2022

I worked as a lifeguard at a public pool last summer. We had a strict “No water wings” policy; those little f***ers are death traps.

A woman is putting water wings on her kid next to the pool, and I politely inform her:

Me: “Ma’am, we do not allow water wings, but we have life vests available for free.”

I point to them, literally five feet from where she’s standing.

Woman: *Infuriated* “How dare you dictate to me how I treat my child?!”

I can see this escalating, so I call my supervisor over. As he arrives and speaks to her, the kid jumps in the pool. The water wings slip up his arms, and he’s suspended underwater. I jump in and pull him out.

Woman: *Even more furious* “You have some nerve to touch my child! I’m gonna sue!”

She was banned from the pool.

Playing Telephone Sure Has Evolved

, , , , , , | Related | November 20, 2022

I am in line waiting to pay at a store. In front of me is a man with two young girls in tow. One of the girls pulls a ball out of the shopping cart, clearly intending to play with it, but the moment she gets it out, the other girl wants it, and the two girls start the classic sibling pastime of squabbling over their toys.

The man takes the ball from both girls and holds it up out of their reach when they can’t come to an agreement.

Man: “Kids, you don’t snatch.”

Girl #2: “I had it first!”

Girl #1: “Nuh-uh!”

Man: “If you girls can’t find a way to share it, I’ll put it back and no one will get it.”

Girl #1: “Can we play the phone game?”

Man: “That’s a great idea, [Girl #1].”

I’m now perversely curious about the non-sequitur about playing games on the phone and how this seems to satisfy the father who looked ready to scold both kids. So, I can’t help but peek over the man’s shoulder as he pulls out his phone and puts it down where the girls can reach it.

Both girls place their fingers on the phone, resulting in color circles showing up under each girl’s finger. Then, after a second, the circle under [Girl #1]’s finger disappears while [Girl #2]’s circle stays. The man hands the ball to [Girl #2].

Girl #1: “Aww…”

Man: “Sorry, [Girl #2] won this time. She can keep the ball until we get to the car, and then [Girl #1] can carry it into the house. No one gets it while I’m driving because I don’t want you causing an accident.”

Just like that, what I thought was about to be a major fight with the kids was resolved. I’ve already decided I’ve got to find a similar “phone game” as soon as my youngest child is old enough to start fighting with her brother.

From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 16

, , , , , | Right | November 18, 2022

I work in a library. We have a very simple booking system for visitors who need to use our public computers. There are also clear instructions on the screen for every step in the process. If someone needs help, we will assist them, of course, but the system is built to be self-service.

I’m busy helping people at the information desk when I see a woman at a computer, waving at me. She has a boy with her who is maybe ten years old.

Patron: “Hello! Can I get some help, please?”

Child: *Trying to get her attention* “Mum.”

Me: “Absolutely! I’ll help you next!”

Child: *A little louder* “Mum!”

Patron: *To me* “Are you going to take long?”

Me: “I will be with you in a minute.”

Patron: “I don’t want to stress you out, but we’re in a hurry.”

Child: “Mum!”

I finish helping the person I’m with and head over to them, just in time to watch the boy tug at his mother’s sleeve and say:

Child: “Mum, it says on the screen what to do! You just type your number in!”

The patron finally pays attention to him and takes a moment to read the instructions.

Patron: “Oh. Oh, never mind. Looks like we don’t need any help after all.”

Related:
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 15
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 14
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 13
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 12
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 11

Un-bear-able Stupidity And Bear-ly Escaped Awkwardness

, , , , , , , | Right | November 17, 2022

The first time we went to Yellowstone, we would not stop to let our son look at some bears a couple hundred yards off the road because there were people literally stopping their cars and getting out to walk up to get better pictures, and we did not want to him to see someone being mauled by a bear.

The next time we went to Yellowstone, we did get out to look at the bears because there was an armed park ranger standing on the side of the road watching to make sure no one did anything that stupid. He was also answering the many children’s questions about the bears.

Child: “Are they boy bears or girl bears?”

Ranger: “The lighter-colored one is a girl and the darker-colored one is a boy.”

When pressed on how he knew this by the very curious children, he looked at them, looked at the parents, and said:

Ranger: “I’ve been observing them for quite a while.”

When we got back to the car, our ten-year-old asked:

Son: “Does he mean that he saw them mating?”

I’m really proud that he was tactful enough to wait until we got back in our car to ask that, because I did not want to deal with ignorant parents who get so upset over such simple and honest questions.