Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Checkout This Precociousness!

, , , , , , | Right | May 10, 2022

I am checking out a mother and her two young children, adorable twin boys likely around four years old. The mother is bagging as I scan the items, and then I give her the total.

To my surprise, one of the boys reaches for his mother’s purse and retrieves a credit card. He then climbs ON TO his brother, leaning against the checkout, to get him to the height where the card machine is.

I’m too much in shock to react, as I witness this child insert the card into the reader, enter the PIN, and press the correct buttons to process the transaction.

The mother has now finished bagging like this has been an entirely normal transaction, the twins have descended back to the ground, and as they depart, I hear one of them say to the other:

Twin: “Next time, it’s my turn to push the magic buttons!”

Luckily, there were no other customers, as I needed a minute.

It Costs Nothing To Be Nice, Dude

, , , , , | Friendly | May 8, 2022

I live in an apartment building. I call the elevator to go up to my floor. Heading in before me is a girl around seven years old, and coming in right behind me is a rough-looking dude with a rottweiler dog. The moment the man enters the elevator, the little girl screams and frantically grabs my arm.

Me: “Hey. What’s wrong?”

Girl: *Stammering and near panic* “D-dog!”

The dog is well-behaved and just sits there patiently, so there is no real danger, but I have an irrational fear of spiders, so I get it. I place myself between the man with the dog and the girl and give her a reassuring smile

Me: “No dog here is going to hurt you. I’m right in between.”

Suddenly, the man speaks up rather aggressively.

Man: “Don’t do that! My dog ain’t bit anyone, ever, and you’re just encouraging her to be afraid of dogs!”

Me: “I’m just trying to not scare a little girl and to keep her comfortable, sir.” 

He mumbles something about bratty kids and exits the elevator on the third floor. I have to go up to the fifth and the girl on the seventh, so I’m left behind with her for a second.

Me: “Are you all right now?”

The girl nodded shyly but still seemed shaken. I got off and wished her a good day. I found out later that she was part of a refugee family that had just moved here from Syria. Her fear of dogs and aggressive men is now somewhat explained, and I hope she doesn’t run into the man again.

Some Customers Need To Be Banned From Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

, , , , , , | Right | May 6, 2022

It seems there is a trend of sticking googly eyes to things. It turns out some of these are really hard to remove and some of our adverts are thin sheets of paper stuck to a plastic board; removing the eyes destroys the board.

It is getting to be a real pain and costing the store some serious money. We start sweeping the store, and as soon as we find some, we check the cameras. It takes us a while to realise we have been looking for teenagers and adults, completely missing the nine-year-old boy who regularly comes in. He is there every time we find the eyes, sometimes the only one.

The next day the boy comes in, he’s told that we know what he’s been doing. He can only come in if he promises not to do it again. Instead, he turns and leaves.

A few hours later, he comes back with his mum.

Mum: “Why did you say my son couldn’t come in?”

Me: “He’s been caught damaging our display boards. He was told he could only come in if he promised he would stop.”

Mum: “He wouldn’t do anything like that! He’s nine!”

Me: “Sorry, but we’ve caught him on camera. We have had to throw dozens of boards away and spend hours removing his stickers.”

Mum: “He does travel stickers! I would know!”

Me: “They are sticky eyes.”

Mum: “Oh, them. Well, I don’t see what the problem is. They are just stickers.”

Me: “As I already said, they cause damage to the boards, and we’ve asked him to stop.”

Mum: “This is ridiculous! Let me talk to your manager.”

I grab him, and she goes on telling a twisted version painting her son as the next in line to be the Pope. The manager listens for a while before interrupting.

Manager: “So you’re admitting that your son has damaged hundreds of pounds’ worth of our equipment, and now you’re complaining when a member of staff asked him to stop?”

Mum: “That’s not at all what happened. It’s being blown out of proportion.”

Manager: “You can pay for the boards yourself or find another store to shop at.”

She spluttered, complained, and threatened to complain to corporate. My manager offered to manage it through the police if she really wanted to escalate it. The best part wasn’t seeing her leave but denying her service a week later when she tried to shop in disguise.

When You Have To Go, You Have To Go!

, , , , | Right | May 5, 2022

I have just started a transaction for a customer with two full shopping carts. The customer’s kid tells her several times that he has to go to the bathroom.

Me: “Ma’am, you can take him to the bathroom now if you want. It will be a few minutes before I get even halfway through your items.”

Customer: “Oh, no, he is okay. He can hold it.”

Kid: “Mommy, I need to go right now! I have to go so bad, Mommy! I need to go!”

The mother ignores the kid, so he hangs off the side of the cart and starts removing his pants and underwear. I immediately stop scanning the groceries.

Me: “I will not ring any more items until you take your son to the bathroom. Otherwise, I’ll be calling a manager who can handle this, because my courtesy clerk and I will not be cleaning anything up.”

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys (Unless They Want To)

, , , , , , , , | Related | April 30, 2022

I was visiting my goddaughter, and I ask her what she wants to be when she grows up.

Goddaughter: “I want to be everything, except for a bad guy or a cowboy.”

Me: “Why not a cowboy?”

Goddaughter: “I don’t know. I just don’t want to be a cowboy.”

Me: “But you want to be everything else? You’re going to be a plumber, and a cop, and a doctor? Isn’t that a lot of things to do at once?”

Goddaughter: “No, I’ll do them all.”

Mother: “It’s too bad she won’t be a cowboy or she could be all of the Village People at once.”

My goddaughter stayed true to her claim for my whole visit, repeatedly telling me she didn’t want to be a bad guy or a cowboy. Poor cowboys get no love.