(A boy and his mother come up to my register. The boy starts asking questions about the ant farm we have on display.)
Boy: “Can they mate?”
Me: “No, there’s no queen in there.”
Boy: “Oh… so they can’t mate?”
Me: “No, they’re all female.”
Boy: “So they can’t?”
Mother: *turns to boy* “Okay, shut up or go away! You’re being annoying!”
(Santa was visiting our store, and every kid got a small bag of candy. Then this happened…)
Santa: “Here you go, little boy!”
Kid: “Thank you, Santa!”
Mom: “Aren’t you forgetting anything?”
Kid: “What, mommy?”
Mom: “Ask Santa for another bag for your brother like I told you.” *looks at Santa* “He’s sick at home and couldn’t come.”
Santa: “No problem!” *reaches for another bag*
Kid: “But mommy, I don’t have a brother!”
Mom: “…”
Santa: *puts bag back*
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(It is Ash Wednesday and we have kids from next door come over for Mass in the morning. I’m serving as a communion minister as the kids start to come up. One little guy comes up right away and just stands there with his hands at his sides looking at me.)
Me: “Do you take communion yet?”
Boy: “Do those have peanuts?”
Me: “?”
Boy: “‘Cause I can’t have peanuts.”
Me: “No peanuts here, but have you had communion yet?”
Boy: “I don’t think I should, just in case there’s peanuts. I can’t have any.”
Me: “How about we just give you a blessing, then?”
(I make the sign of a cross on his forehead and give him a blessing.)
Boy: “Thanks, maybe next time there won’t be any peanuts. I can’t have those.”
(I wonder if we should make up a “Jesus – Now Peanut Free!” sign, just in case.)
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Kid: “Mommy! Mommy! I want those shoes!”
Mom: “Why do you want those shoes?”
Kid: “Because everyone else is wearing them.”
Mom: “Wouldn’t you want to get something different and be more original?”
Kid: “No… then I wouldn’t be original like everyone else!”
