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Freudian (Pay) Slip

, , , , , | Right | October 18, 2010

(I am ringing up a mother and her son.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, your total is [total].”

Son: “Wow, that is so much money! You’re taking all my momma’s money!”

Me: “Actually, your mother is paying for the items that she just purchased, and I’m not the one who gets the money, anyway.”

Son: “Do you think I’m dumb? You get all the money; why else would you be here?”

Me: “The money that is paid here is made by the company. I’m here because the company pays me to check out customers.”

Son: “That’s stupid. You should get to keep the money.”

(As I’m about to respond, the mother chimes in.)

Mother: “Just ignore him. He’s stupid.”


This story is part of our “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup!

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This Child Has Few Reservations

, , , , | Right | October 16, 2010

Child: “Excuse me, but I have a question.”

Me: “What is it?”

Child: “Do you believe in Native Americans?”

Me: *slight pause* “Yes. Yes, I do.”

Child: “That’s good to know.”


This story is part of our Native-American roundup.

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At Least His Answer Is In The Right Aria

, , , , , , , , | Learning Right | October 14, 2010

(I am giving a tour of the opera house to a group of fifth-graders. We are backstage and we pass a large service elevator, generally used to transport grand pianos, costume racks, etc.)

Me: “So, guys, who can think of a reason why the opera needs such a big elevator?”

*silence*

Kid In The Back: “Because there are REALLY BIG PEOPLE in operas!”


This story is part of our “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Hilarious Stories About Sisters, And How We Love/Hate Them!

 

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Ah, Mothers, Part 6

, , , , , | Learning Right | September 24, 2010

(The child I’m working with is crying, so I go outside to talk to the mother.)

Me: “Your child seems to have some separation anxiety, ma’am. It’s against the rules, but I could let you stay and watch her work so she’ll feel better.”

Mother: “Oh, I think she’ll be fine after a while. See, she’s been upset since we moved here from Chicago.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s difficult for a child sometimes.”

Mother: “But don’t tell her we moved, okay? We told her we were only going on a vacation. She has no idea we’re not going back.”


This story is part of our Terrible Parents roundup!

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Read the Terrible Parents roundup!

Not Exactly Gifted, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | September 16, 2010

(A twelve-year-old boy comes up to the counter holding a gift card.)

Customer: “How much is this?”

Me: “As much or as little as you want on it.”

Customer: “But what does it do?”

Me: “You give it to people as gifts. It has money on it.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “Like I said, as much or as little as you want.”

Customer: “Can I get $10?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I ring up the gift card.)

Me: “That’ll be $10.”

(He hands me $1.35.)

Me: “This isn’t enough. I need $10.”

Customer: “I only have that.”

Me: “Then you can’t get the gift card.”

Customer: “But, you said I could do any amount!”


This story is part of our “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup!

Read the next “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup story!

Read the “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup!