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Hang Ups Over Children

, , , | Right | June 2, 2010

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Vet Clinic]. How can I help you today?”

(Note: the caller sounds around four years old. )

Caller #1: “Hello, is Aunt Betty there?”

Me: “I’m sorry, would you mind repeating that?”

Caller #1: “Can I speak to Aunt Betty?”

Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”

Caller #1: “Oh. Okay.”

Me: “Bye!”

(I hang up. Ten seconds later, the phone rings again.)

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Vet Clinic]. How can I help you today?”

Caller #2: “My niece just called here and must have got the wrong number.”

Me: *chuckling* “Yes, she thought–”

Caller #2: “Well, next time don’t hang up on her!” *hangs up*


This story is part of the Children-Behaving-Better-Than-Their-Parents roundup!

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No Pranks, Just Thanks

, , , , | Right | May 18, 2010

(I am shelving DVDs in a library when a man comes in with a boy who appears to be autistic. The boy sees a movie about Thanksgiving.)

Boy: “Thanksgiving! I love Thanksgiving! I’m thankful… I’m thankful for… I’m thankful for my friends at school!”

Caretaker: “You’re thankful for your friends at school?”

Boy: “Yeah! Yeah, and… and… what are you thankful for? Are you thankful for your friends?”

Caretaker: *no response*

Boy: “Are you thankful for me?”

Caretaker: “I’m thankful for you, kid. I’m more thankful for you than all my friends in the world.”

Boy: *smiles*


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Not Quite Out Of The Mouth Of Babes

, , , , | Right | May 11, 2010

(A customer and her young son approach me.)

Customer: “My son peed on one of your aisles.”

Customer’s Son: *shouting* “I peed myself!”

Customer: “Stop yelling!”

Customer’s Son: “I peed myself! I peed myself! I peed myself!”

Me: “Why did you pee yourself?”

Customer’s Son: “My mom was taking too long and I told her I had to pee and she said okay so I peed myself. Am I in trouble?”

Me: “No. We will just get this cleaned up. Just make sure next time you find the bathroom, okay?”

Customer’s Son: “Okay. Where’s the bathroom? I gotta poop, too.”


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Alternative Five-Year Calling Plan

, , , , | Right | May 8, 2010

(I am at the admissions office at my university. A coworker leaves a message with a younger kid telling them they’d “call back later” to speak to the adult.)

Me: “Hello, [College]?”

Caller: “Oh, this is a college?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Caller: “Well, then, why were you telling my kid you were coming to our house?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.”

Caller: “Someone called my house the other day from this number and told my five-year-old daughter that they would ‘come over later.’ Why would anyone be coming over later?”

Me: “I believe they probably said, ‘Call back later.’ That’s what we usually say if a younger child answers the phone.”

Caller: “Oh, so now you think my five-year-old is dumb?”

Me: “I never said that, ma’am; we just usually don’t leave messages with young children.”

Caller: “If my daughter couldn’t take a message, I wouldn’t let her answer the phone!”

Me: “Well, with all due respect, ma’am, she did tell you we said we would come to your house, which is not correct at all.”

Caller: “Yeah, well, your people should speak more clearly. She’s only five! She gets things wrong sometimes!”

A Major Problem With A Minor Request

, , , , | Right | April 19, 2010

Me: “Good afternoon, [Bookstore]!”

Caller: “Hi, I have to do a project where I read to kids and they respond. Do you have that?”

Me: “You need a book to read to them? Sure! We have plenty of children’s books.”

Caller: “No, I need to read to kids and have them respond.”

Me: “Right, we have plenty of books you could chose from to read to them.”

Caller: “No, I need to read to kids and have them respond.”

Me: “So, what exactly is it that you need from us?”

Caller: “Can I do that there?”

Me: “Well, we don’t provide the children.”

Caller: *disappointed* “Oh, okay. Bye.”


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