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Not Exactly Gifted, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | September 16, 2010

(A twelve-year-old boy comes up to the counter holding a gift card.)

Customer: “How much is this?”

Me: “As much or as little as you want on it.”

Customer: “But what does it do?”

Me: “You give it to people as gifts. It has money on it.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “Like I said, as much or as little as you want.”

Customer: “Can I get $10?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I ring up the gift card.)

Me: “That’ll be $10.”

(He hands me $1.35.)

Me: “This isn’t enough. I need $10.”

Customer: “I only have that.”

Me: “Then you can’t get the gift card.”

Customer: “But, you said I could do any amount!”


This story is part of our “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup!

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(Not One Of) History’s Mysteries

, , , , , , | Right | September 14, 2010

(I am helping a little boy find a children’s book on Native American history for a book report.)

Me: “I think this one will come in handy. It’s all about the different Native American tribes and traditions. It even includes a large map showing where the Native American tribes lived.”

Little Boy: “Thank you!”

(He walks away with his book and an adult customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Why did you do that?”

Me: “Do what?”

Customer: “Tell him those are real.”

Me: “Native Americans?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Because they are real.”

Customer: “No! They only exist in movies with cowboys!”

Me: “I can assure you that Native Americans exist.”

Customer: *mocking* “I suppose you believe cowboys really existed, too?”


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From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 3

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2010

(A six-year-old girl comes up to me very anxiously while waiting in line to get food.)

Girl: “Ma’am, what’s this?”

Me: “What’s what?”

Girl: “This!” *I notice she’s holding her crotch*

Me: “You mean your skirt?”

Girl: “No, the thing under it!”

Me: “I… I… I don’t know. Ask your mom.”

Girl: “Ugh! I already did, and she doesn’t know either!”

Related:
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 2
From The Mouth Of Babes


This story is part of our “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup!

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Read the “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup!

Better Safe Than Saucy

, , , , | Right | August 9, 2010

(A young boy comes up to me and points at the clam sauce for spaghetti.)

Boy: “Can I have this sauce?”

Me: “Sure, it’s clam. Is that okay?”

Boy: “Clam? What’s clam?”

(I start clapping my fingers together motioning a clam closing and opening.)

Me: “A clam? You don’t know what a clam is?”

Boy: *blank stare.*

Me: “Okay, well, are you allergic to any shellfish?”

Boy: “What’s a shellfish?”

Me: “Okay, you’re getting tomato sauce.”


This story is part of our Allergic To Common Sense roundup!

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This story is part of our “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup!

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Obviously Not A People Person

, , , , | Right | July 20, 2010

(We have booths at which we can only seat groups of three or more. There is a couple with their young child sitting in one. A couple comes in and I go to seat them.)

Me: “Hi, are you here to eat, or are you just having some drinks?”

Customer: “Eating. Can we take a booth?”

Me: “Sorry, but we need to save them for groups of three or more.”

Customer: “What about them?” *motions at the couple with their child*

Me: “They have three people sitting there.”

Customer: “What? Babies aren’t people!”