Pot Calling The Kettle Pink

, , , , , | Learning | March 16, 2019

(One day at the child care center where I work, I have a little boy come in with red fingernail polish on. Later that day, one of my male coworkers sees him and walks up to me.)

Coworker: “Who painted that child’s fingernails?”

Me: “His mom.”

Coworker: “Oh, my God.”

Me: “What?”

Coworker: “That poor kid doesn’t stand a chance.” *walks away*

(You’re a male working in childcare and you want to hold a three-year-old to traditional gender expectations?)

The Age Of Innocence

, , , | Learning | March 13, 2019

(I am in daycare playing Legos with the kids when they start talking about birthdays and how old they are. They start guessing my age, and when they finally guess the right age, I tell them.)

Me: “Do you think that’s old?”

Boy: “Yes, but not old enough to die… yet.”

Me: “How old is ‘old enough to die’?”

Boy: “You’d have to be a hundred or something to die.”

(I’m glad I’m only eighteen!)

At Least It’s Not A Velociraptor

, , , , , | Related | October 10, 2018

(I overhear this conversation:)

Child: “My mommy is pregnant.”

Coworker: “Congratulations. Do you know what she is having?”

Child: “She is having a boy…”

(Pause:)

Child: “…or a girl.”

Coworker: *laughing* “Well, I’m glad she’s not having a puppy.”

They’re Going To Focus On This; Make No Bones About It

, , , , , | Learning | September 25, 2017

(It’s the end of the day in the four-year-old class, and the kids are pretty much playing at whatever they feel like. One asks me to read her a cute science-y book about skeletons, so I oblige her, and she hops into my lap. This happens as I am reading a page which faces a picture of a jolly-looking skeleton with all the major bones labeled.)

Me: *reading* “’…but your shape can never change, because you have a skeleton inside you.’”

Kid: *pointing at the pelvic bone and shouting* “IS THAT YOUR VAGINA?!”

(Two other kids overhear this and think it is a funny word.)

Other Kids: “VAGINA? VAGINA?”

Me: “…can I please read?”

(I wasn’t going NEAR that one!)

Happy Meal

, , , , , | Related | July 25, 2017

(I am roughly five years old at the time and I am a curious child.)

Me: “Mummy, why do we buy chicken in the yellow packet and not the normal one?”

Mum: “Well, the chickens in the yellow packets were fed good food and lived in the country so they were very happy. So we only buy happy chickens.”

Me: “If they were so happy, why did we kill them?”

Mum: “Well…”

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