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Dog Teeth Are Not Rootine

, , , , | Right | March 16, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me, can I have a toothbrush?”

Me: “Sure.” *I hand her a toothbrush*

(The customer leaves, and she comes back about five minutes later.)

Me: “Do you need toothpaste?”

Customer: “Oh, no, I was just wondering if this toothbrush is ADA approved? It doesn’t say that on the label.”

Me: “That’s because we special order our toothbrushes in bulk. The box that the shipment comes in says it’s ADA approved, though, if you want me to show you that.”

Customer: “I should. Harry is very finicky about his teeth, and I forgot his toothbrush at home.”

(I get the box and show her that the toothbrush is ADA approved.)

Customer: “Oh, good, Harry will be so happy! Here, let me show you some pictures of my baby!”

(She takes out her wallet and shows me pictures of a golden retriever.)

Me: “Um… is Harry a dog?”

Customer: “Of course! He’s my baby!”

Me: “We don’t allow pets in this hotel.”

Customer: “Oh. Can I still keep the toothbrush?”


This story is part of our Golden Retriever roundup!

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Yukon See It On A Map, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | March 10, 2010

(I am checking out a man with a thick southern accent.)

Me: “How would you like to pay for that?”

Customer: “Oh, darn. I must’ve forgotten my credit card at home. All I got is money.”

Me: “We do take cash.”

Customer: “It’s American money. I know you folks don’t take that.”

Me: “We take American money. This is America.”

(The man’s mouth literally drops open.)

Customer: “No fooling? When did that happen?”

Me: “When Illinois became a territory of the United States of America?”

Customer: “America took land from the Canadians? I must’ve missed it on the news.”


This story is part of our Geography roundup.

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Sorry, This Store Is Full Of Yahoos

, , , , | Right | February 8, 2010

Customer: “I called in here yesterday and put an item on hold. Do you have it?”

Me: “Let me check. Who put it on hold for you?”

Customer: “Google.”

Me: “Google?”

Customer: “Yes, Google… or Nadia.”

Me: “We don’t have a Nadia here. Do you mean Natalie?”

Customer: “No, his name was Nadia!”

Me: “His name was Nadia?”

Customer: “Yes… or Google.”


This story is part of our Wrong Names roundup!

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No Fortitude For Longitude

, , , , , , | Right | February 7, 2010

Me: “How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, hello. I ordered some shoes from your store and put it at a one-day delivery. It said it was supposed to be delivered by 4:00 today, and it hasn’t been delivered yet.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir. Where are you calling from?”

Customer: “Dallas.”

Me: “Dallas, Texas, sir?”

Customer: “You know any other Dallas?”

(I check the time and see that it’s 3:00)

Me: “Sir, it’s only 3:00.”

Customer: “Now listen here, son, just because it’s three o’clock where you are doesn’t mean it’s the same time over here!”

Me: “Sir, Dallas is in the same time zone as Chicago.”

Customer: “Boy, do I need to get you a map? Dallas is a million miles from Chicago!”