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There’s A Sucker Infected Every Minute

, , , , , | Right | June 30, 2010

(A customer is wondering why her anti-virus is asking her to purchase the program.)

Me: “What is the name of your anti-virus?”

Customer: “It is [Well-Known Fake Anti-Virus Program].”

Me: “Ma’am, that is a fake anti-virus. Do not purchase that program because it will not protect your computer.”

Customer: “No! Why do you want me to disable my anti-virus? I will not get rid of it! It’s keeping my computer safe! I already purchased it three times and it still wants me to pay again! All I want to know is how to stop it from asking me to pay!”

Deli-cate Situation

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2010

Me: “Hello, this is–”

Caller: “Baby, what are you doing? Want to come over later?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: *laughs* “You heard me, baby.”

Me: “Sir, I think you may have the wrong number. This is a deli.”

Caller: “Woah, are you serious?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Caller: “I’m so sorry!”

Me: “It’s okay.”

Caller: “So… do you want to come over?


This story is part of our Hilarious Wrong Number roundup!

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Twilight Vs Holy Light

, , , , , | Right | June 14, 2010

(A young woman, about twenty years old, comes up to the counter holding a copy of The Bible.)

Me: “Hi, did you find everything you needed today?”

Customer: “Yeah, hey, can you tell me what this is about?”

Me: “The Bible?”

Customer: “Yeah, what’s it about?”

Me: “The Bible has two parts, the Old Testament which is scriptures, and the New Testament, which contains the story of Jesus’ life and works as told through the gospels, written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.”

Customer: “Huh. Is it any good?”

Me: “It’s pretty popular.”

Customer: “Nah, I’ll just get this one instead.” *puts a copy of ‘Twilight’ on the counter*


This story is part of our Book Lovers roundup!

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Funds Are Not The Only Thing Lacking Here

, , , , , | Right | June 1, 2010

Me: “So, your total comes to $47.63.”

(The customer swipes their card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it seems your card was declined.”

Customer: “Declined? Why?”

Me: “It says here, because of ‘insufficient funds.’”

Customer: “But what does that even mean?”


This story is part of the More-Customers-Bad-With-Money roundup!

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The Pre-School Preemptive

, , , , | Right | May 9, 2010

Me: “Hi, you’ve reached the office of admissions at [Private High School]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I’m looking at schools for my daughter, and I was wondering if you could tell me some of the benefits of your school.”

(I discuss the benefits of being a student at my high school.)

Caller: “Are you a student here?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Do you see the programs changing in the next few years?”

Me: “How many years?”

Caller: “Well, my daughter is starting preschool in a month.”