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Retroactively Robbing The Cradle

, , , , , | Romantic | August 29, 2021

My fiancé is extremely smart; however, sometimes he forgets the age gap between us, and even though it’s only five years, it’s humorous to me.

We are laying in bed looking at a certain photo app, and the trend of a video showing when you and your significant other met and where you are now is playing.

Fiancé: “I wish I would have known you in high school. I would have made all my friends jealous.”

I turn and stare at him.

Fiancé: “What? I would have!”

Me: “Hun, when you were eighteen in high school, I was thirteen!”

Fiancé: “OH! OH, NO! No, I didn’t mean that! Not like that! I forgot!”

I just about died of laughter.

What Kind Of Day Have They Been Having?!

, , , , , | Right | August 16, 2021

I have signed up for an exercise class that is conducted in a martial arts dojo. To protect the floor of the dojo, we are required to wear only shoes that have never been worn outside. I don’t have any shoes like that, so I go to a discount shoe store, since I don’t want to spend a lot of money on shoes I will only be wearing for a few hours per week.

I find a pair I like, try them on, and notice the price on a tag that is inside the box. It is even less than I expected to pay, so I buy them. When the cashier scans the box, a higher price comes up on the register.

Me: “That’s not the right price. There’s a tag inside that shows that they cost [price].”

I show her the tag.

Cashier #1: “I’m sorry about that.” *To [Cashier #2]* “Can you check the price on these shoes?”

Cashier #2: “Sure.”

He walks away and comes back a few minutes later.

Cashier #2: “The price is ringing up correctly. The tag that was in the box doesn’t match this style; it probably just fell off another box. I’m sorry, but these shoes are already on sale so we can’t give you the lower price.”

I am disappointed by this, but I do like the shoes and the higher price is still reasonable.

Me: “Aww, okay, I’ll still get them.”

Cashier #1: “Wait. You aren’t mad?”

Me: “I mean, I’d rather pay the lower price, but if you can’t do that, then…” *Shrugs*

Cashier #2: “Why are you so calm?”

Me: “If I throw a fit, do I get the lower price?”

Cashier #1: “No, sorry, we can’t.”

Me: “Then there doesn’t seem to be a point to getting angry, does there?”

Both cashiers give each other a “WTF?” look, but we complete the transaction. In the meantime, another employee comes over, wearing a “Manager” nametag. [Cashier #2] explains the situation to him. Another “WTF?” look passes among all three employees.

Cashier #2: “She’s too calm.”

I am not telling this story to show off my ability not to throw a tantrum; I am telling it because of the strange reaction of the employees to normal behavior!

Give Me A Little Credit!

, , , , , , | Working | July 5, 2021

I am standing in the checkout lane at a popular makeup store. There are several checkout counters open, including a “credit and debit card” only lane. I am called to the counter to checkout.

Employee: “Are you paying with a credit or debit card?”

I place my two items on the counter. I am purchasing an eyeliner for myself and a gift card for a friend.

Me: “Yes, I am paying with a debit card.”

Employee: “Okay. Do you want to sign up for a store credit card?”

Me: “No, thank you.”

The employee scans my eyeliner and then scans the gift card. The employee suddenly looks very angry.

Employee: “What are you trying to do?”

I am extremely taken aback and confused by the question. 

Me: “What?”

Employee: “What are you trying to do with this gift card?!”

I have no idea why the employee has changed from relatively pleasant to practically yelling at me.

Me: “I want to add $50 to the gift card.” 

I think this is a very clear request, but the employee looks at me with suspicion.

Employee: “You didn’t say that.”

At this point, I’ve only been at the counter for a minute. After the employee’s question about the store credit card, there hasn’t been time for me to say anything about the gift card. I’m also wondering why they didn’t just ask instead of yelling at me. But, at this point, I just want the transaction to be over.

Me: “Okay, sorry. I want to add $50.”

The employee continues to look at me as if I am trying to trick them. 

Employee: “I thought you were trying to pay with the gift card.”

Me: “No, this is the credit and debit card only lane. I am paying with a debit card.”

Employee: “Well, some people think that they can pay with a gift card in this lane.”

For the third time…

Me: “Okay, but I am not paying with a gift card. I am buying it.”

The employee grumbled but completed the transaction, still glaring at me. I left as quickly as possible. 

I’m not entirely sure what the employee’s problem was that day, but I think they thought I was trying to steal the makeup with a bad gift card.

Hehe… Phteven…

, , , , , | Working | June 23, 2021

Caller: “I asked you guys to email me a copy of my receipt last Thursday and I never got it.”

I find the transaction, and I can see that we tried sending it several times but it kept bouncing back as rejected by the customer’s domain.

Me: “Sorry about that; it looks like the email failed to send several times. Let me read back the email address we sent it to: S-T-E-V-E.[last name]@[domain]. Is that correct?”

Caller: “Yep, that should be right.”

Me: “Okay, well, let me get in there and email it again. One sec.”

Caller: “You spelled it with a V, right? Sometimes people put a PH, instead.”

Me: *Light bulb* “Sorry, was that supposed to go to steven.[lastname]@[domain]?”

Caller: “Yes, Steven with a V.”

Me: “Sorry about that. We sent it to just steve.[last name].”

Caller: “It’s weird that I didn’t get it if you sent it to steven.[last name].”

Me: “I just resent it. You should see it any moment.”

I swear, tunnel hearing is just as real as tunnel vision!

A Cold-Cut Case Of Mis-Direction

, , , , , , | Working | June 11, 2021

All office workers at my company have been working from home for about a year now, from the start of the global health crisis. I was on maternity leave for several months prior to the start of the crisis, meaning it has been even longer since I have physically been on-site at my facility. I am also horrible with giving directions to begin with.

On top of all this, there’s apparently a lot of construction going on at our facility — a long-planned expansion project — which means road closures, detours, etc. We’ve been told to tell anyone needing directions to follow the signs, which has been working fine. Until we got about a foot of snow overnight…

Caller: “I’m a driver trying to make a delivery, and I think I’m a little lost here.”

Me: “Did you come in at the entrance off [Road]?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, that’s perfect; that’s where you’re supposed to go. Just follow the signs they have posted to lead you around the construction to the loading docks.”

Caller: “That’s the thing, though. With all the snow, the signs I’m seeing are buried or knocked over. Am I supposed to go around the side here where there’re like dumpsters and a fence? Or do I go straight past the construction trailer?”

Me: “Um… I’m so sorry, I have no idea.”

Caller: “Don’t you work there?”

Me: “Yes, but I’m not at the… Sorry, let me find you someone with a sense of direction. Please hold.”