(My boyfriend and I have been friends online for years. We recently started dating, though since it’s long distance we Skype every day. During a video call, I am wearing a long sleeved, red and black, striped shirt.)

Boyfriend: “I like your shirt.”

Me: “Oh, thank you!”

Boyfriend: “You look like Freddy Krueger!”

(I raise a brow and chuckle.)

Me: “Uh, thank you?”

(He grins and speaks in the most cutesy tone possible.)

Boyfriend: “No wonder you’re always in my dreams!”

Me: “I still haven’t gotten to see Titanic in theaters!”

Mom: “Sorry buddy, spoiler: the b**** does let go.”

(I am visiting my parents in another province for Easter. My boyfriend texts me to find out if we can have a phone date before I get home the next day.)

Boyfriend: “Sup?”

Me: “Knitting and watching Jeopardy. You?”

Boyfriend: “Don’t forget your prune juice.”

Me: “I’m drinking coffee. F*** you.”

Boyfriend: “I don’t know. Don’t want to break your hip.”

Me: “Shut up!”

Boyfriend: “Whoa there. Getting a little edgy, huh? Have you had your nap yet?”

Me: “I’m gonna kick your butt, sonny boy.”

Boyfriend: “I’ll just have to keep farther than your oxygen tank cord can reach.”

Me: “No lovin’ tomorrow.”

Boyfriend: “The Alzheimer’s will kick in and you’ll forget you said that.”

(My dad and I recently saw ‘The Hunger Games’. It has also become my brother’s new favorite movie. He is away at college. I have just been offered a Graduate Assistantship at my top choice for a University.)

Dad: “We should end all of our texts to your brother with ‘May the odds be ever in your favor’.”

Me: “Oh! I forgot to tell him! Let me text him…” *reading my text aloud* “I got offered a graduate assistantship at [school]! May the odds be ever in your favor.”

(My brother replies a few minutes later, and I laugh so hard at his answer that I can’t even read it out loud to my dad.)

Dad: “What’s so funny?”

Me: “He’s calling grad school The Hunger Games. Cutthroat, high stress, and not enough time or money to eat. May the odds be ever in your favor.”

(I am away on holiday, and my boyfriend and I decide to Skype. We both love everything to do with genetics and biology.)

Boyfriend: “If our child ends up a bit special, can we teach it to speak sign language so it could be superior to all the other children?”

Me: “No! We have to be nice to the kid. They have to be able to get along with the other kids!”

Boyfriend: “Just because it’s mine doesn’t mean I have to be super-sweet to it.”

Me: “Well, half of it is mine, so I’d like to protect my investment.”

Boyfriend: “Which half, top or bottom?”

Me: “The eggy half.”

Boyfriend: “I love you.”