Dialing Security Is Very Real, Though

, , , , , , | Right | June 17, 2018

(I work in a store that has cell phones on display. The cell phones are connected to wires to prevent people from taking them. On top of that, most of the phones on display are fake and have no use. I’m working today when a particularly suspicious teenager walks in the store.)

Me: “Hello there. How may I help you?”

Teenager: “Oh, I’m fine. Just browsing.”

Me: “Okay, let me know if there is anything I can do for you.”

(For a little while, he just walks around, and then finally stops by a phone. He messes around with the phone and then pulls on it, thinking that no one will notice him. The wire stops him from pulling it away, but for some reason, he doesn’t realize this and keeps pulling.)

Me: “Um, excuse me, but what are you trying to do?”

Teenager: *while still pulling on the fake phone* “Oh, nothing, don’t mind me.”

Me: “You can let go of the phone now. It’s fake, anyway, and it’s attached to a wire so you can’t pull it away.”

Teenager: *looks down and realizes his mistakes* “Ha, um, yeah, I knew that. That’s why I was tugging on it, ‘cause I knew it was fake, ya know?”

(He left extremely embarrassed.)

Her Money Is Liquid

, , , , , , | Right | June 12, 2018

(I work in a coffee shop. It’s a slow night and I’m keeping an eye on the front counter. My friend has stopped by and we end up talking for a minute when a woman comes in and joins our conversation. At the end of our conversation, this scene comes into play:)

Woman: “Hey, can I ask you something?”

Me: “Sure! What can I do for you?”

(She leans in over the counter a little and glances around to see if anyone is watching.)

Woman: “I need five dollars. Do you have any on you?”

Me: “Um… No, I don’t have anything on me. What do you need five dollars for?”

Woman: *casually, as if there’s nothing weird about this scenario* “I just needed some money to buy a soda.”

Me: “Oh, you mean for here?”

(Our drinks are about a dollar plus tax, and I notice she only has a dollar with her. Right before I’m about to offer to pay for her drink, she cuts me off.)

Woman: “No, I wanted to get a pop from [Store down the block]. Are you sure you don’t have any money?” *she leans over and peers into the tip jar beside her* “I wouldn’t want you to take anything from the tip jar or the register, because [Manager who isn’t there] would probably rip you a new one.”

(At this point, I’m freaked out and annoyed at her persistence, even though I have told her four times that I don’t have money on me and I’m not giving her money from the tip jar or the register.)

Woman: “Well, are you sure you don’t have any in your coat pocket?”

Me: “I don’t. I’m broke.”

Woman: “Can you go look?”

(I hesitated, thinking she was going to steal from the tip jar while I’m away, but thankfully my friend had been standing behind the woman the entire time and kept an eye on her while I went back and talked to my coworker, who was also the acting manager for the evening. I explained what was going on, and she came back with me to try and get the woman to leave. As soon as the woman saw my coworker, she acted like nothing had happened and left. Apparently this woman is a known drinker and frequently comes around trying to bum money off of people. She’s even shown up at my coworker’s house!)

Understanding Has Gone From Eleven To One

, , , , | | Right | May 29, 2018

(I work at a pizza delivery place in town. Whenever a customer calls for a delivery, we have to confirm their phone number and address before taking their order.)

Me: *after confirming phone number* “And is this for eleven-sixteen [Street]?”

(There is a ten second pause between the question I asked him and his response.)

Customer: “Um… No. I have a new address now.”

Me: “Okay, do you mind giving me your new address for your order?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s one… one… one… six, [Street].”

Me: “So, eleven-sixteen [Street].”

Customer: “Uh… Yeah.”

(I couldn’t tell if he was just messing around or if he was serious. Either way, I got a good laugh out of it that night.)

Try Not To Interpret Too Much Into This

, , , , | Right | April 9, 2018

(I am working the register one busy Saturday with two of my other coworkers. A kind, older gentleman steps up to order while talking to someone on his cell phone.)

Me: “What would you like to order?

Customer: *points to the phone* “My wife would like to order a coffee. Here.”

(He hands me his cell phone and I, without thinking, take it as though it is the most natural thing in the world.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. What would you like to order today?”

(She says something about iced coffee and I ask her if she would like cream and sweetener in it. At this point, the older gentleman points to the phone.)

Customer: “It helps if you put it on speaker.”

(I press the speaker button and continue with the order, after which I hand the phone back to the man and he pays. One of my coworkers gives me a weird look and I explain:)

Me: “Just go with it. Maybe he didn’t want to be an interpreter.”

Will Be An Interesting News Development

, , , , | Right | April 2, 2018

(I work for a community-oriented weekly newspaper company that owns multiple publications, but all of them come from the same office. One of our publications has a similar name to a rival newspaper that gets delivered daily, which sometimes causes confusion. It’s a free publication that we deliver to some neighborhoods and businesses each week, but specific homes can call to request not to receive the paper.)

Me: “Hi. This is [Company]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I have called you five times in the last month, and you still keep delivering your paper to me.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. There must be some confusion with our distribution department or our drivers. Could I get your address, so I can make sure our distribution manager has it? He’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Caller: “If you don’t stop delivering the paper to my house, I’m going to sue you all. I’ve already called the city, and they’re looking into taking action against your company.”

Me: “Sir, if you give me your address, I can make sure it doesn’t happen.”

Caller: “It gets delivered to me every day.”

Me: “Sir, are you sure you’re not receiving [Rival Newspaper]? I know it has a similar name to ours.”

Caller: “No, it’s you guys!”

Me: “Sir, we only deliver our paper once a week.”

Caller: “You tell your distribution manager that if this doesn’t stop, I’m going to find out where he lives and dump all the newspapers I’ve acquired on his lawn.”

Me: “Okay! Go for it, sir!”

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