Has A Lot Of Baggage

, , , , | Right | October 3, 2018

(I’m sixteen and working in the housewares section of a department store. Part of the housewares section is luggage, with every single type of luggage set out in display units. In order to get the boxes with the luggage in them, you have to scale a two-story set of movable stairs in the warehouse. One night, FIVE minutes before closing, a well-dressed man and his wife come to the luggage department to inquire about luggage. I know just from looking at him he is going to be a delight to work with.)

Man: *quite imperious* “I have a very important meeting tomorrow in New York and I don’t have time for your ineptitude! I need to see this particular set of luggage right now!” *points to a set of blue luggage*

Me: *a little miffed by his attitude, but back then, the customer WAS always right* “Right away, sir.”

(I pull the luggage down from the display. The man actually HISSES at me!)

Man: “What do you think you’re doing? I don’t want to look at THOSE old things! I want to see a new set, right out of the box! Make sure the quality is what I need!”

(Off I go, into the warehouse and up the long moving stair/ladder to retrieve a huge box and come back down the stairs with it. Usually a stock person would do this job, but they all have gone home for the evening. I get the box down and return to the gentleman; at this point the speakers blare out the announcement that the store has indeed closed for the night.)

Man: “It’s about time! Do you know what kind of rush I’m in? It took you an hour to retrieve these!”

(It took me three minutes. I’m now freaking out because I’m not supposed to clock out any later than 9:02. I start ignoring the man’s attitude so I can get rid of him.)

Me: “Here we go. Let me open this for you so you can inspect them and we can get you home.

(I take out the large suitcase, unzip it and take out the smaller suitcases in turn. They, needless to say, look JUST LIKE THE DISPLAY. Nonetheless, he goes over them with a fine-tooth comb. 9:00 turns into 9:07.)

Me: “Now, just let me box this back up for you and…”

Man: “NO! These will not do! You will go at once and fetch me….” *looking at the other displays while pointing out his finger* “THAT set there. The burgundy one! Hop to it! I’m in a hurry.”

Man’s Wife: *quietly* “But dear, the store has already…”

(The man holds his hand up to silence her. The poor lady actually cows to her husband’s gesture! Now really pissed off and wanting to go home, I head back into the warehouse, back up the stairs to fetch the burgundy luggage, just knowing with every passing minute I am getting into serious trouble, trouble I can’t get out of because THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT. I allow the box to slide down the banisters rather than try to carry it down each individual step, so at least I’m not in danger of falling with this massive box in hand. I grab the box, head back to the luggage section, and un-box this set of luggage.)

Man’s Wife: “Oh, those are nice! I think you should…”

Man: *again with the hand* “These will never do! They are too feminine! You got these out so I would look like a FOOL, didn’t you? You will now go and fetch me the BLACK set of luggage.”

(I now know this guy is just making this a sick joke and is enjoying bossing me around. I’m so desperate to get out of this but I can’t find any solution because I can’t tell this guy off. Suddenly, as I’m heading back for the THIRD box of luggage, the manager approaches me.)

Manager:: “[My  Name], why are you still here? You should have clocked out fifteen minutes ago!”

(I explain the whole situation to him, nearly breaking down in tears. The more he hears, the angrier he gets, and though I think he’s getting mad at me it becomes apparent that’s not the case. The great thing about this manager is he doesn’t take any crap. So, instead of going back into the warehouse, he makes me take him to this man.)

Man: *mistakenly thinking the manager is there to help him* “Oh, thank goodness there’s a MAN to help me! This girl is completely incompetent! She has repeatedly brought me the wrong luggage and wasted my valuable time! Now, if you would be so kind as to fetch me…”

Manager: *cutting him off* “Sir, why do you think we have displays here?” *the man is now stunned into silence.* “They are here so you can pick out the ONE set of luggage you need so my employee doesn’t have to continuously go into the stockroom to get boxes for you! She is NOT your servant; she is an employee who deserves respect! I am here to inform you the store is now closed! Here is what is going to happen: either you are going to purchase one of the two sets of luggage you forced my employee to retrieve for you OR you are going to exit my store. Immediately. The register closes in one minute. Make your decision now.”

(The manager gave the man a steely glare that, to this day, I’ve only seen this particular manager perfect.  The man and his poor wife immediately left, his rants of “Do you know who I am?” and “I make that man’s yearly salary in a month!” resonating throughout the store. I stared at the two boxes and the luggage the man had strewn in the area and the manager said, “Don’t worry about it; I’ll explain to the stock guys in the morning,” and sent me to clock out. Over twenty years later I still hope that guy finally learned some respect for others, especially women. And I seriously hope his wife got a divorce!)

Acting Shady At The Airport

, , , , , | Friendly | August 7, 2018

(I’m a customer, flying out on a Tuesday morning. I’ve driven to the airport, parked in a long-term lot, and am now standing in line for the security checkpoint. I’m idly people-watching when I notice a woman wearing these really long sandals basically made out of lots of straps. It strikes me as pretty impractical footwear for traveling, so I give her a closer look… only to recognize her horizontally-striped shirt and bleached blonde hair from someone who sped past me very aggressively on the highway before I arrived. She’s also wearing large sunglasses inside the airport, so I call her Shades. She finishes checking a bag at the counter and walks over to join the security queue, roughly a dozen people behind me, only to pull out her phone and begin speaking very loudly:)

Shades: “OH, NO, MOM, THIS IS AWFUL. IT’S A CATASTROPHE! MY PLANE IS GOING TO LEAVE SOON WITHOUT ME, AND THERE ARE LIKE EIGHT HUNDRED PEOPLE IN LINE IN FRONT OF ME!”

(A quick count suggests roughly forty people in the line. This is not a bad security queue. I begin exchanging amused and disbelieving glances with the people nearby.)

Shades: “MOM, THEY’RE GOING TO LEAVE WITHOUT ME! I CAN’T MAKE IT IN TIME WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE IN FRONT OF ME! THIS IS SO TERRIBLE! WHY ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE HERE?! THIS AIRPORT IS AWFUL; IT’S NOTHING LIKE NEW YORK!”

(She’s now getting looks from all over the line, but doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.)

Shades: “I’M GOING TO MISS MY FLIGHT, AND IT’LL COST ME AN EXTRA 100 DOLLARS, AND I’LL BE STUCK HERE IN THIS STUPID CITY!”

(I can’t help but laugh. She shuts up for a little while, and then gets back on her phone.)

Shades: *still shouting* “HI THERE, [OTHER RELATIVE]. IT’S AWFUL; I’M GOING TO MISS MY FLIGHT! IT BOARDS SOON AND THERE ARE LIKE FORTY PEOPLE IN FRONT OF ME IN THE SECURITY LINE. I CALLED MOM, BUT SHE WOULDN’T GIVE ME ANY SYMPATHY. SHE SAYS CHARLOTTE IS A NICE CITY AND DOESN’T CARE THAT I’LL BE STUCK HERE!”

(Don’t worry, Shades; we care. We’re all hoping you’ll hurry home; it’s just your mother who doesn’t want you back.)

Dialing Security Is Very Real, Though

, , , , , , | Right | June 17, 2018

(I work in a store that has cell phones on display. The cell phones are connected to wires to prevent people from taking them. On top of that, most of the phones on display are fake and have no use. I’m working today when a particularly suspicious teenager walks in the store.)

Me: “Hello there. How may I help you?”

Teenager: “Oh, I’m fine. Just browsing.”

Me: “Okay, let me know if there is anything I can do for you.”

(For a little while, he just walks around, and then finally stops by a phone. He messes around with the phone and then pulls on it, thinking that no one will notice him. The wire stops him from pulling it away, but for some reason, he doesn’t realize this and keeps pulling.)

Me: “Um, excuse me, but what are you trying to do?”

Teenager: *while still pulling on the fake phone* “Oh, nothing, don’t mind me.”

Me: “You can let go of the phone now. It’s fake, anyway, and it’s attached to a wire so you can’t pull it away.”

Teenager: *looks down and realizes his mistakes* “Ha, um, yeah, I knew that. That’s why I was tugging on it, ‘cause I knew it was fake, ya know?”

(He left extremely embarrassed.)

Her Money Is Liquid

, , , , , , | Right | June 12, 2018

(I work in a coffee shop. It’s a slow night and I’m keeping an eye on the front counter. My friend has stopped by and we end up talking for a minute when a woman comes in and joins our conversation. At the end of our conversation, this scene comes into play:)

Woman: “Hey, can I ask you something?”

Me: “Sure! What can I do for you?”

(She leans in over the counter a little and glances around to see if anyone is watching.)

Woman: “I need five dollars. Do you have any on you?”

Me: “Um… No, I don’t have anything on me. What do you need five dollars for?”

Woman: *casually, as if there’s nothing weird about this scenario* “I just needed some money to buy a soda.”

Me: “Oh, you mean for here?”

(Our drinks are about a dollar plus tax, and I notice she only has a dollar with her. Right before I’m about to offer to pay for her drink, she cuts me off.)

Woman: “No, I wanted to get a pop from [Store down the block]. Are you sure you don’t have any money?” *she leans over and peers into the tip jar beside her* “I wouldn’t want you to take anything from the tip jar or the register, because [Manager who isn’t there] would probably rip you a new one.”

(At this point, I’m freaked out and annoyed at her persistence, even though I have told her four times that I don’t have money on me and I’m not giving her money from the tip jar or the register.)

Woman: “Well, are you sure you don’t have any in your coat pocket?”

Me: “I don’t. I’m broke.”

Woman: “Can you go look?”

(I hesitated, thinking she was going to steal from the tip jar while I’m away, but thankfully my friend had been standing behind the woman the entire time and kept an eye on her while I went back and talked to my coworker, who was also the acting manager for the evening. I explained what was going on, and she came back with me to try and get the woman to leave. As soon as the woman saw my coworker, she acted like nothing had happened and left. Apparently this woman is a known drinker and frequently comes around trying to bum money off of people. She’s even shown up at my coworker’s house!)

Understanding Has Gone From Eleven To One

, , , , | | Right | May 29, 2018

(I work at a pizza delivery place in town. Whenever a customer calls for a delivery, we have to confirm their phone number and address before taking their order.)

Me: *after confirming phone number* “And is this for eleven-sixteen [Street]?”

(There is a ten second pause between the question I asked him and his response.)

Customer: “Um… No. I have a new address now.”

Me: “Okay, do you mind giving me your new address for your order?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s one… one… one… six, [Street].”

Me: “So, eleven-sixteen [Street].”

Customer: “Uh… Yeah.”

(I couldn’t tell if he was just messing around or if he was serious. Either way, I got a good laugh out of it that night.)

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