Obviously, She Was Dyeing To Know

| UK | Bizarre

(I am volunteering at a charity when a seemingly normal woman approaches my till without any items. Note: I have dark brown hair naturally.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Is that your natural hair colour?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

Me: “Um, I’m not lying to you.”

Customer: “YOU’RE SUCH A LYING B****!”

Me: *taken aback* “I… I’m not lying.”

Customer: “STOP LYING! YOU’LL BURN IN H*** IF YOU CARRY ON LYING! NOW TELL ME WHAT DYE YOU USE!”

(At this point, my coworker comes over.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, what’s the problem here?”

Customer: “This b**** won’t tell me what dye she uses! She’s being selfish! I want her fired!”

Coworker: “Well, our manager isn’t in today, so no one has the authority to fire her. I feel obliged to add this is her natural hair colour, though.”

Customer: “YOU’RE ALL F***ING LIARS IN THIS D*** SHOP! JUST F*** OFF!”

(The customer storms out, knocking things off the hangers as she goes.)

Coworker: “What the h*** was that?!”

Clothing That Just Takes Control

| Miami, FL, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(Note: I work at a charity that accepts donations.)

Customer: *quite loudly* “Where can I leave my domination clothing?”

Me: *stares shocked*

Customer: “That’s the wrong word, isn’t it?”

No Good Deed Goes Unthreatened

| Houston, TX, USA | Uncategorized

(I am working for a non-profit charity. It’s right before Christmas and we’re calling our prior donors to wish them a happy holiday season and to thank them for their support.)

Me: “Hello, this is [name] calling from [organization]. We’re contacting our prior—”

Donor: “Don’t call this number, lady! Don’t you ever call this number again! I’ll find out where you live, drag you out of bed, and dump cold water on you. You understand? Do not ever call this number, you dumb b****!” *click*

Bleeding For A Cause

, | Evans, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(I call people to request for them to come in and donate blood.)

Me: “Hello! This is [name] with the blood center.”

Male customer: “Oh, is it that time of the month again?”

Me: *speechless*

Male customer: “I just realized what I said.”

You Bite It, You Buy It

, | Clitheroe, England, UK | Uncategorized

(I work in a charity shop selling used items. A customer walks up to me with a pair of gloves.)

Customer: “Are these gloves waterproof?”

Me: “They look it, sir.”

Customer: “I’ll just test them out.”

(The customer then proceeds to bite the gloves, covering them with his spit in the process, while everyone close to him looks on in horror.)

Customer: “Yes, I’ll take these.”

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