A Bona-Fido Idiot

| UK | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I work for an animal charity. I am out in the local community promoting responsible dog ownership.)

Me: “So is your dog neutered then?”

Customer: “Sorry?”

Me: “Sorry, madam. Is your dog neutered?”

(The customer stares blankly.)

Colleague: “Madam, has your dog been castrated?”

(The customer continues to stare blankly.)

Me: “Has he been ‘done’?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah. He did have an operation on his ears a few weeks ago…”

Law And Order: The Next Generation

| Australia | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Money, Top

(A customer approaches the counter with curtains in her hand. Her 15-year-old daughter hovers around.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am! Those curtains will be a total of $45, at $15 a piece.”

Customer: “What? No, the sign said $5 a piece.”

Me: “Really? I’m very sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am; I was told not to sell these specific curtains for any less than $15. We are a charity drive, so I hope you understand the pricing.”

Customer: “No, you don’t get it. These curtains were over there on that rack, and it said $5! You are bound, by law, to sell me these at this pri—”

(The daughter interrupts.)

Customer’s Daughter: “Actually, she’s not. The sign beside the curtains could have been referring to any number of things. That said, even if we were to assume that it referred to the curtains themselves, it would only constitute an invitation to treat, which is something very different to an offer. You know as well as I do that both an offer and an acceptance are needed to form a contract. By taking the curtains to the counter, you’re offering, and by disagreeing with an express term of the contract—in this case, the price—this lovely lady who’s merely performing her job is not accepting. Therefore, no contract has been formed.”

Customer: “I… I… shut up!”

(The customer storms out of the shop.)

Me: “Thank you!”

Customer’s Daughter: “No problem. I just finished a semester on contract law, and she’s done this in the past three stores we’ve gone to. I hope things look up for you!”

Real Superheroes Are In The Running

| Kissimiee, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

(I am part of a charity group that dresses up like superheroes. We are attending a 5k run to benefit a children’s charity, cheering on over 1000 runners. The guys dressed as Superman and the Flash agreed to run the first fifth of the race.)

Batgirl cosplayer: “There’s Superman!”

Superman cosplayer: “Hey guys. Lost Flash back there… so, we’re near the finish line?”

Me: “There’s the finish line.”

Superman cosplayer: “Nice!”

Route supervisor: “First runner coming!”

(We all start cheering and clapping, like we are supposed to.)

Superman cosplayer: “Oh, thank god it’s him!”

Me: “Huh?”

Superman cosplayer: “When Flash and I were lining up, a bunch of the ‘professional’ runners shoved us out of the way so we wouldn’t slow down their start. One of the runners told them to back off.”

(We all cheer loudly as we see the heroic runner cross the finish line for a first place finish.)

Superman cosplayer: “And here come some more ‘pros’. Wait, what the…”

(Running with the ‘professionals’ is a boy who looks about eight. As the event is about kids, we cheer him instead. He beats half of them!)

Me: “You go kiddo! You beat the Flash!”

(Both the first place finisher and the little boy came back to thank us for cheering them on. It was awesome!)