Ballooning Out Of Control

| Greenwich, CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I am doing some community service the other day, handing out balloons at an adopt-a-dog fair. I have been working for a few hours when a family of three approaches.)

Me: “Hello, would you like a balloon?”

Woman: *snatches her baby away* “How dare you offer a balloon to a child? Do you realize how dangerous those are? Are you trying to kill my baby? Call your manager right this instant!”

Me: *taken aback* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t actually work here. I’m doing community service.”

Woman: *huffs* “Don’t lie to me, missy! Do you think I’m stupid? You’re just lying to get out of trouble! Now, call your manager. Now!”

Me: *starting to get really fed up* “I don’t work here! I’m just here to I hand out balloons, and clearly you don’t want one, so I would suggest moving on to some of our other attractions.”

Woman: “Why, of all the disrespectful—”

(She has started to get pretty loud, so one of the managers running the fair wanders over to see what’s going on.)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

Woman: “Finally! This young lady tried to give my child a balloon! Those can strangle kids! I demand to have her fired immediately!”

Manager: *bewildered* “Sorry, what?”

Woman: “She tried to murder my child! I can press charges!”

Manager: “Right… Well, why don’t you go off and do that now…”

(The woman’s storms off, taking her child with her. Her husband, who has been silent throughout the entire conversation, stays behind.)

Husband: “Well, I don’t know about her, but I’d like a balloon…”

Charity Begins At Home Furnishing

, | London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(As a charity shop, all items are donated to us. The staff are volunteers and so do not receive wages. The money made from sales goes to our cause; in this case, the care of the elderly in a local home. I approach a customer that has been looking at a sofa for some time.)

Me: “Can I help?”

Customer: “This sofa, isn’t it a bit expensive?”

(Customers sometimes try to haggle or cheat us, so I’m not surprised so far.)

Me: “Well, even though the sofa has no signs of wear and looks to be new, it has been heavily discounted. It would be triple the price from any other shop.”

Customer: “Yeah, but this is a charity shop.”

Me: “Yes…”

Customer: “So I don’t see why you can’t just give it away.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I rent out property, you see. I get more if the places are furnished, but if I have to buy the furniture…”

Me: “We can’t just give things away. We raise money for the charity, which cares for elderly people.”

Customer: “Yeah, but you get this stuff for free.”

Me: “… “

Unhappy Holidays

| Canada | Bizarre, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I’m sitting at my position, working for a well-known religious charity. I am collecting donations to fund their various charitable programs. A customer walks by.)

Customer: “Merry Christmas!”

Me: “Merry Christmas!”

Customer: “You aren’t allowed to say that!” *walks away*