(I am doing some community service the other day, handing out balloons at an adopt-a-dog fair. I have been working for a few hours when a family of three approaches.)

Me: “Hello, would you like a balloon?”

Woman: *snatches her baby away* “How dare you offer a balloon to a child? Do you realize how dangerous those are? Are you trying to kill my baby? Call your manager right this instant!”

Me: *taken aback* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t actually work here. I’m doing community service.”

Woman: *huffs* “Don’t lie to me, missy! Do you think I’m stupid? You’re just lying to get out of trouble! Now, call your manager. Now!”

Me: *starting to get really fed up* “I don’t work here! I’m just here to I hand out balloons, and clearly you don’t want one, so I would suggest moving on to some of our other attractions.”

Woman: “Why, of all the disrespectful—”

(She has started to get pretty loud, so one of the managers running the fair wanders over to see what’s going on.)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

Woman: “Finally! This young lady tried to give my child a balloon! Those can strangle kids! I demand to have her fired immediately!”

Manager: *bewildered* “Sorry, what?”

Woman: “She tried to murder my child! I can press charges!”

Manager: “Right… Well, why don’t you go off and do that now…”

(The woman’s storms off, taking her child with her. Her husband, who has been silent throughout the entire conversation, stays behind.)

Husband: “Well, I don’t know about her, but I’d like a balloon…”

(I am working my second day as a cashier when an elderly customer walks up with a bundle of bananas and a drink.)

Me: “Hello, sir, and welcome to [Store]. Would you like me to match the price of these bananas, dear?”

Customer #1: “No, godd*** it!”

Me: “Okay. Not a problem. I apologize. Would you like to donate anything to [Charity We Support]? ”

Customer #1: *turns away and mutters something*

Me: “Was that a yes or…”

Customer #1: “READ MY LIPS. NO. N. O. CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND SIMPLE ENGLISH, YOU D*** BIMBO?!”

Me: *all smiles* “I’m so sorry, sir. Not a problem.”

Customer #1: “I am so f****** tired of your s***, you little b****! The people here are so godd*** stupid. Quit smiling. Your job f****** sucks.”

(He walks off cursing under his breath.)

Me: *turning to the next customer* “Hello, dear. How ar—”

Customer #1: *rushing back* “And don’t call people ‘dear,’ you little tramp! I’m old enough to be your d*** grandfather and she’s a woman, you f****** lesbian!”

(At this point, I’m almost in tears because it’s my second day ever and I’ve had nothing but positive responses all day. My current customer speaks up.)

Customer #2: “Don’t listen to that old b*****d, honey. You’re doing great and can call me whatever you like. Now, how much can I donate to that charity you were askin’ about?”

This story is part of our Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

Read the next Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup story!

Read the Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

(On my way to work, I often meet a group of volunteers trying to get donations to a charity by talking to people on the street. I have already talked to one of them weeks before, and I was told I couldn’t help because I wasn’t 24 years-old yet. One of the volunteers stops me.)

Volunteer: “Hi, miss. Can I talk to you for a couple of minutes?”

Me: “I need to get to work soon.”

Volunteer: “It really is just a couple of minutes! I won’t keep you for long!”

Me: “I’m 23.”

Volunteer: “Okay, I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

(I am on a homeless outreach. Part of the work is passing out food, water, and clothing. The other part is to allow the homeless community to talk to us and generally show some humanity, since so often they are ignored by people. Later, during the outreach, a friend and I are taking to an elderly man about his life and beliefs for maybe five minutes. Most of our supplies we were handing out are gone, and Friend #1 and I are empty-handed. All is going well, until the director approaches us, asks the man to excuse us, and pulls us aside.)

Director: “It’s nice to try and talk to them, but don’t let them talk to you for very long! Some of them are crazy. You have to remember that stuff!”

(After she stalks off, I turn to my friend.)

Me: “Didn’t she tell us before we left to remember that everyone is human and not to shy away from conversation?”

(Our store is selling stuffed toys to give to children undergoing cancer treatment. I’m on register checking out a couple.)

Me: “Would you like to purchase one of the toys and donate it to a child?”

(The customer reaches for one of the toys and I think I’ve made a sale. But then she puts the toy back on the counter and says:)

Customer: “My hunch is that kids who have cancer get enough of these.”

This story is part of our Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

Read the next Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup story!

Read the Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!