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Putting Your Foot In It

, , , | Right | November 19, 2009

(My friend and I are door-knocking to raise money for a charity.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, we’re collecting for [Charity]. Would you like to donate?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, sure!”

Me: “Thank you, we really appreciate it!”

Customer: *pauses and suddenly glares* “Don’t look at my feet.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “You heard!”

(We can’t help it and sneak a look at her feet. She is wearing frog slippers.)

Customer: “DON’T F***ING LOOK AT MY FEET!”

Mmm, Moisturizer

, , , , | Right | October 20, 2009

Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like to return this lotion. It gives me a rash.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

(The customer hands me her used lotion. Half the bottle has been used up.)

Customer: “What do you do with the returned lotion?”

Me: “Well, since this is used, I have to mark it out and throw the product away.”

Customer: “Like, in the garbage?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Customer: “But there are starving children in China!”

The Free-Range Children Are Out Back

, , , , | Right | February 12, 2009

(We are the charity for a small but state-of-the-art kids hospital, and run tours for potential donors, maximum six people per tour.)

Me: *on the phone* “Hello, [Charity]; how can I help?

Caller: “I want to organize a visit.”

Me: “Okay, great. What day?”

Caller: “Next Wednesday. Now, tell me, is there somewhere they can stop and eat?”

Me: “There’s a cafe nearby.”

Caller: “Good. Am I right that there is an area where the patients can be petted?”

Me: “Uh…”

Caller: “Never mind. Where can I park the coach?”

Me: “…coach?”

Caller: “Yes, we want a visit for fifty elderly people. Your representative said it was possible.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, we can only take six people at a time.”

Caller: “Well, what are the rest of them going to do?!”

Me: “Okay, can I ask who told you it was all right to bring more than six people?”

Caller: “Yes! She definitely said it was all right! We had an initial talk by a lady who brought along her lovely Labrador…”

Me: “…”

Caller: *realizing* “This isn’t the Dogs’ Trust Hospital that I’ve called, is it?”

Generosity Which Knows No Bounds

, , , , , , | Right | January 20, 2009

(We are having a toy drive. If you buy and donate any $5 toy, you can receive 20% off your entire purchase. A woman wearing a fur coat is buying five bags of toys.)

Me: “Ma’am, would you be interested in donating a toy today? Since your total comes to $400, you’d save $80–”

Customer: *angrily* “My husband and I donate to CHARITY, so I don’t think I need to be guilt-tripped into your awful little toy drive!”

Me: “Your total is $400, then.”

Customer: “Is there any way I can get a discount?”

Me: “No… No, I’m afraid not.”

This story is part of the Customers-Are-Their-Own-Worst-Enemy roundup!

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This story is part of our Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

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