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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Literally

, , , , , | Right | December 16, 2010

Me: “Hello, sir. Would you like to make a donation to Children In Need?”

Customer: *in a heavy American accent* “Say what?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I wasn’t aware you were from out of the country. Children In Need is a charity that collects money for projects working with children in the UK. It runs an appeal about this time every year. Would you maybe like to make a donation?”

Customer: “Like f*** I would! It’s you and your poor, hobo kids that got us and the whole f****** world into this d*** recession!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the recession actually began when the US housing bubble burst. American banks gave out too many loans that couldn’t be repaid, and the government had to bail the banks out. That was because they traded the debt they had to banks overseas, since most were American owned companies.”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “Would you like to make a donation?”

(The customer reached into his pocket, and dropped some change into the bucket.)


This story is part of our Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

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Heartless & Toothless

, , , , | Right | October 7, 2010

(I am ringing up an older customer’s order which includes several name brand toothbrushes. They ring up at $3.50.)

Customer: “Those toothbrushes should be 99 cents and buy-one-get-one-free!”

Me: “That price was actually for the store brand ones that were located right under these. The sale tag is displayed right above the item.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want them, then. They were for the homeless at my church, and they don’t need toothbrushes if they cost that much!”

Empty Cans, Even Emptier Stomachs

, , , , , | Right | September 20, 2010

(My friends and I are going door-to-door collecting cans for a food drive at our church.)

Me: “Hello, we are collecting cans of food for [Church]. Would you like to donate?”

Teenage Girl: “So you guys take cans. What about pop cans?”

Me: “No, we only take canned foods.”

Teenage Girl: “Are you sure? I have some pop cans I don’t need.”

Me: “No, we only accept canned foods.”

Teenage Girl: “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

(The girl closes the door and bangs around inside for a couple of minutes. Then she opens the door with a handful of cans.)

Teenage Girl: “Here are the cans. I grabbed some pop cans, too.”

(We look at the cans she gave us, and realize that they are all empty.)

Teenage Girl: *to her mom* “I took out the recycling, Mom!”


This story is part of our Recycling roundup!

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Overly Essaying The Situation

, , , , | Right | July 15, 2010

Me: “What can I help you with today, sir?”

Customer: “Well, for starters, you can talk to that girl at the front desk. She made me fill out so much paperwork!”

Me: “I’m sorry. She must have been mistaken. Can you show me the forms you were asked to complete?”

Customer: “No. I don’t have them.”

Me: *confused* “Where are they?”

(The man proceeds to lead me to the front desk and gestures at the sign-in sheet where visitors are asked to write their name and zip code.)

Customer: “This! She made me write all this!”


This story is part of our Lazy Customers roundup!

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Salvation Barmy

, , , , | Right | July 13, 2010

(We take electronics and recycle them for people.)

Me: “Thank you for calling! How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, do you recycle clothes?”

Me: “Clothes? No, we only take electronics. You should try the homeless charity across the street.”

Caller: “I don’t want to give them to homeless people. I just want to recycle them!”


This story is part of our Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!

Read the next Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup story!

Read the Customers Who Dislike Charity roundup!