Taking Charge Of The Charge

| MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(My coworker is speaking with a customer about her bill.)

Customer: “There is no reason why my bill is $250 this month. I can’t afford that, and I can’t have my phone turned off, you need to explain this to me. My bill should be $90.”

Coworker: *addresses customer by name* “You come in here every month about your bill being high, and I explain it to you every month.”

Customer: “Well explain it to me again.”

Coworker: “You have a plan for X minutes and you exceeded those minutes by Y amount of minutes, causing the $160 worth of overages. What I can do is give you Plan Z which covers all of the minutes you use, and your monthly bill would be $120 every month. I can even backdate it to cover this bill.”

Customer: “And I told you last month, I can’t change my f***ing plan to $120, because I can’t f***ing afford my bill to be over $100 each f***ing month!”

(My manager hears the commotion and comes over.)

Manager: “I couldn’t help but hear your language, and while I appreciate that you are frustrated, I am going to have to ask you to clean up your language while you are here. Maybe I can help… what is making you so upset?”

Customer: “My bill is too expensive every month, and I try to get it fixed every month and he…” *points at coworker* “…never helps me!”

Manager: “Let me take a look.” *looks over account* “I see that you have some overage charges in here.”

Customer: “Yes. My bill should only be $90.”

Manager: “There’s an easy solution that would make it so that you wouldn’t have to pay $250 every month. If you change to Plan Z, it would cover all the minutes you use, and you would be saving $130 each month by only paying $120 instead of $250.”

Customer: “F*** you!”

(The customer storms out of the store.)

Backhanded Corpulence

| Essex, UK | Health & Body

(I’m customer-facing tech support, and I’ve just fixed up a customer’s phone after a few issues she’s been having.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s brilliant! Thank you so much! Oh, and I love your hair! It’s so trendy!”

Me: “Thanks! Well, if you need any more—”

Customer: “Yeah, sort your weight out and you’d be alright looking.”

Me: “Sorry?!”

Customer: “It’s okay, just exercise! Bye!”

In Defence Of Common Sense

| Canada | Money, Technology, Top

Customer: “Yeah, this phone still powers on, but the flip part of the screen has been ripped off. Can you pull the contacts off and put them on my new phone? I’m not a customer with your company though.”

Me: “That’s okay. Well, sometimes if the device is still operational I might be able to access the contacts transfer even without the screen. I’ll try my best.”

Customer: “I NEED these contacts. I’m desperate.”

Me: “I understand how frustrating this is for you. We charge $15 to do the transfer. But if it doesn’t work, I wont charge you anything at all.”

Customer: “What? You’re not going to do it for free?”

Me: “No, sir, I have to charge a fee for my time and services.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***! You should do it for free!”

Me: “Right, and what do you do for a living, sir?”

Customer: “I make fences.”

Me: “Awesome! Is it cool if I swing by after work and get you to build me a fence for my puppy who likes to play in my backyard? Of course, I can’t pay you, so can you do it for free?”

Customer: “What?! No! I don’t work for free.”

Me: “Yeah, neither do I.”

Customer: *lightbulb goes on*

(I transferred his contacts, and yes, he paid the service charge.)