Gives New Meaning To Hands-Free Phone

| Related | October 1, 2016

(I work in a popular cellphone carrier business. This woman and her little nephew come in to discuss an issue with a bill. He asked a question to his aunt and I was very surprised at the kid’s response. Keep in mind, he must have been four.)

Nephew: “[Aunt], can I see your phone?”

Customer: “Sure, what’s the rule?”

Nephew: “If I drop your phone, you’ll chop off my hands!”

(He seemed very excited by the response and the customer nodded her head “good” before going through her purse and handing it to him. He didn’t drop the phone.)

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Roaming Ever Closer

| Right | September 30, 2016

(This is a call from a regular customer.)

Caller: “Hi there, I need to add international calling to my plan.”

Me: “That’s great. What country will you be going to?”

Caller: “Canada.”

Me: “Okay, what you need to do is call customer care and they can add a small international roaming package on, and they can also get you the best rates.”

Caller: “Oh, okay, I’ll do that.”

(Not even five minutes later, I get a call from a different number, out of state.)

Caller: “Hey, I tried to call them, but my phone told me I was roaming and it wouldn’t connect the call.”

Me: “That’s odd. Well, I can try to call Customer Care for you and see if they can add it on or at the very least, try and give you a call. When exactly will you be needing this package added on?”

Caller: “Well, we are about two hours from the Canadian border, so as soon as possible.”

Me: “…”

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An Offline Request

, | Right | September 16, 2016

(I work in a call center for a major phone carrier.)

Caller: “We’re supposed to have our service activated today, but we have no service.”

Me: “All right, let me go ahead and see what I can find out for you.” *accesses customer’s account, notices a vital network cable is being replaced and has no estimated time of completion* “Well, there is a local outage in your area, as there is an area cable that needs to be replaced, and they have to specially order the cable.”

Caller: “Well, we open tomorrow. Is there any way you can run a temporary line for us? We need a way to run credit cards and keep customers entertained while they wait.”

Me: “Unfortunately, the cable that provides service to your area is being replaced, and they have to order it.”

Caller: “Well, can’t you just use the box on the back of the building?”

(I goes on like this for a few minutes: the customer asking for a temporary line, or using the box on the back of their building; me reiterating that the network cable was needing replacing. Eventually, I have to pull this line out of my sleeve:)

Me: “What I can do, if you’d like, is set up a time to call you back, and update you on the situation?”

Caller: “I don’t see why you can’t just run a temporary line to the box on the back of the building…”

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Demanding To A Fault(line), Part 2

, | Right | September 15, 2016

(Overheard at work:)

Coworker: “Your latency is because an earthquake severed an underwater cable. You’re currently being routed around the longer side of the fiber ring. And unfortunately, it will be weeks before a ship can run a new cable.”

(Pause.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry. Did you just ask me for advanced notice of service-impacting earthquakes?”

 

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Wasn’t Going To Tell You For A Few Generations

| Working | August 31, 2016

(I use an old, un-hackable mobile phone and buy prepaid air-time to avoid billing hassles. When the service provider changes hands I go to their center to see about a package deal. I decide to stay with prepaid air-time but the supervisor has to open a station to make the charge. While waiting for the program to come up she ignores me and starts lecturing the sales rep, waving my credit card around in her hand.)

Me: *uncomfortable* “Could you make the charge in the meantime, please?”

Supervisor: *to me* “The program hasn’t come up yet.”

(Finally the charge is made and I wait to get notice on my mobile. No message, and no service either. The supervisor has disappeared.)

Me: “No message has come in!”

Clerk #1: “Oh, you have to turn it off and then on again before it shows.”

(I do so three times but nothing happens. I go in search of the supervisor.)

Clerk #2: “You can’t come back here; she’s on her break!”

(I sit down to wait, fuming a little. After several minutes one of the clerks looks over at me.)

Clerk: “Oh! There’s no ‘second generation’ reception here. You’ll have to take it outside for it to work!”

Me: “And you couldn’t have told me this ten minutes ago?!”

(The phone worked and still works well outside – which is more than the staff were doing inside!)

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