A woman walks into our store very angry.

Customer: “Your phone is defective! Every time I call someone, it doesn’t go through!”

The woman is so loud and angry straight away that my manager intervenes immediately.

Manager: “Sorry to hear that, ma’am. Can I check the phone?”

Customer: “Here! This is so stupid! I paid for a working phone, and you’re scamming me!”

My manager does some basic troubleshooting (despite her loud and abusive language) and discovers that the phone can make calls just fine.

Manager: “I’m afraid I am unable to replicate the issue, ma’am. You said that none of your calls can connect?”

Customer: “Typical! I should have gone to [Competitor]! I have tried calling all my friends, and the calls keep going to voicemail!”

Manager: “Oh.”

Pause.

Manager: “Do you think it might be because none of them want to talk to you?”

She complained. Corporate said, “Don’t do it again.” She never came back. 

Worth it.

This story is part of the Editors’-Favorite-Stories Of-2023 roundup!

Read the next roundup story!

Read the roundup!

A customer has an old flip phone.

Customer: “I dropped and broke this.”

Me: “Well, that’s an old phone and we don’t repair models that old anymore. You’d need to upgrade to a smart phone.”

Customer: “No! The government is downloading stem cells through smart phones to control our thoughts!”

Related:
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 48
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 47
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 46
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 45
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 44

A customer has broken their old phone and is asking for advice on a new one. They have a demanding list of requirements for a low budget.

Me: “For that budget, this is the best phone that can do everything on your list.”

Customer: “No, I’m not getting a [Brand]! They’re Chinese and they’ll steal all your data!”

Me: “I think that was more of a business concern, but I understand where you’re coming from. Perhaps if you told me what you’ll primarily be using it for, I can make a better selection.” 

Customer: “Oh, mostly for TikTok these days…”

A couple of younger teenagers come into my store looking for some help.

Teenager #1: “Hi. My mom bought me my phone from you guys, and it’s supposed to have a free subscription to [Music Streaming Company], but I can’t get it set up.”

Me: “Let me see your phone and I’ll see if I can help.”

I look at the phone and think I have solved the problem. To test it out, I go to one of my favorite songs that I use for this purpose, “Born To Be Wild” by Steppenwolf.

Teenager #2: “Oh, hey! How come you know that song?”

Me: “Ha, yeah, I know it’s a little old, but—”

Teenager #2: “Old? No, it’s on TikTok!”

Teenager #1: “Yeah, you’re too old to know that song.”

Me: “Ladies, this song was twenty years old already when I was born.”

Their faces were the image of shock, betrayal, mind-expanding… and a little bit of disgust.

I was selling cell phones in the mid-2000s. An older gentleman — the old farmer-looking type — came up to the counter scowling and THREW the phone on the counter.

Customer: “Doesn’t work!”

Me: “Well, all right, let’s see what’s going on. Can you tell me what it’s not doing that it should be?”

Customer: “DOESN’T. WORK.”

Me: “All right, then…”

I flipped the phone open and proceeded to hit the power button.

Customer: *Bellowing* “HOW’D YOU DO THAT?!”

Me: “Pressed the power button, right here?”

I turned the phone to show the power button/end conversation button the old flip phones had. He grabbed the phone from me, looked it over, scowled some more at me, and essentially stormed off with the same attitude and energy he’d charged up with.