Unlimited Texts, Limited Intelligence

, , , | Right | August 4, 2010

(After purchasing a cell phone a few hours ago, a teenager and her mom return, saying they’re having difficulty.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer’s Mom: “She’s having problems sending a text message to her dad.”

Customer: “Yeah, it keeps saying that it doesn’t recognize his phone or something.”

Me: “Oh, that’s odd. Here, show me.”

(The customer types a short message along with her dad’s number, and hits send. After a few moments, a message reads ‘Error: Your message was not sent. Address is not a recognized mobile device.’)

Me: “Oh… are you trying to text it to his home phone?”

Customer’s Mom: “Yes! Why does that matter?”

Me: “Because only cell phones can receive text messages. It’s not going to work.”

Customer’s Mom: “What? Since when? Well, she’d like a plan that can do that.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, it’s not up to me. That’s just how phones work.”

Customer: “But it’s an unlimited texting plan!” 

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Some Customers You Just Have To Let Slide

, , , , , , | Right | May 14, 2010

Me: “Good afternoon, this is [Cellphone Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I came into your store today and you sold me a defective phone!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What is your full name and phone number so I can pull up your account?”

Customer: *gives information*

Me: “Okay, thanks. I see you bought a [phone]. What seems to be the problem?

Customer: “The keyboard on this piece of s*** won’t come out!”

Me: “Have you tried sliding it the other way?”

*really long pause*

Customer: “Well thanks a lot, b****! Now you made me feel like a f****** idiot!” *click*


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H2Slow

, , , , , | Right | December 28, 2009

Customer: “Hello. I bought this phone from you and I accidentally got some orange juice on it.”

Me: “Okay, well, if it didn’t get too much on it, it might be okay. Is it turning on?”

Customer: “No.”

(I take the phone and it has a lot of moisture damage.)

Me: “It looks like there’s quite a lot of juice on this.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s not juice. I ran it under the tap to get the juice off!”


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Elmer Fudd Calling On Line One

, , , , | Right | September 28, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cellphone Store]. What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I’m having a problem with my phone. Can I bring it to your store?

Me: “If you want to bring it to us, we’ll do our best to troubleshoot the phone. But if it’s physically broken it’s unlikely we’ll be able to fix it. If that’s the case we’ll be happy to look into options to replace the phone.”

Customer: “What would you consider to be physically broken?”

Me: “Just something like a broken screen or cracks in the casing, or any kind of moisture damage.”

Customer: “Moisture damage?”

Me: “Right. We can’t really do much about moisture damage to a phone.”

Customer: “Would that include rabbit blood?”

Me: “…yes.”

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Miracle On 24th Street

| Right | May 15, 2009

(I had activated a phone for a new customer with a standard two-year agreement. The next day, she comes back into the store, clearly irritated.)

Me: “Hi, welcome back. How is your new phone working?”

Customer: “You messed up my contract. You need to fix it.”

Me: “Okay, what is the problem with your contract?”

Customer: “You said I had a two-year contract, but on this paperwork it says 24 months. You need to fix it.”

Me: “Ma’am, there’s nothing wrong with the contract.”

Customer: “Yes, there is. You said two years and this says 24 months!”

Me: “Ma’am… how many months are in a year?”

Customer: “Twel–oh…well, now I feel stupid!”

 

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